fretting

"You ready, big guy?"

The ghost could only draw his palms up and down the college kid's back. They were back in Sydney now. After a few days of lucky hitchhiking, they're now on a bus on the way to where his relatives live. He just sighed and put his gaze outside.

"You know," the ghost tried to ease up the situation. "Life doesn't always start out great but makes people great and then, the situation becomes great, you know."

The kid ignored him.

"I'm sorry if you feel forced out to confront things you might not be ready to," he said as he looked through the window of the other side of the bus. "But you have to."

A pause.

"I'm sorry."

They settled on silence.

The bus wasn't crowded. Well, it wasn't even on half its capacity.

An old woman with thick clothes sat just behind the driver. A man – may be in his late twenties – sat on his side of the bus. They were seated on the very back. A good distance was between them as they awaited what was about to happen.

The kid had his head leaning on the dirtied window. Looking dreadful and anxious, he resorted to simply sport an expressionless expression. Poker face, all around. His blank stares outside as the bus slowly passed through streets and houses he knew and saw from his last time with his relatives.

"Oh, there's a factory here."

The ghost simply stated.

He was desperately trying to calm the situation down. But he was doing it for himself. He felt a little guilty for all the dread the kid was now facing. He knew it.

He knew dread very well.

"Oh, police at a scene of a crime," he pointed as he looked over the highway below the bridge they were – or the bus was crossing. "Dreadful, isn't it?"

He hovered over and looked further.

"Must be another knife thing, huh?"

Instead of an annoyed response coming from the college kid, he instead felt a hand clasp his. His left being held in the kid's right. He instantly looked back at the kid but found that he was just still staring out to the window. Elbows on the thin sill, he looked out ignoring the world until he had to notice it someway or somehow.

He just smiled reassuringly towards him but the kid never looked his way. Only his hand went for him.

I'm sorry.

"Anyone going down?"

The bus driver shouted. The kid let go of his hand. He observed him as he walked through the aisle.

Keeping his head down, the kid hurriedly exited the bus. The bus driver and the other passengers never noticed him or gave him even a short glance. The kid was a little thankful for that.

He had his own eyes surveilling himself, he didn't need anyone else's. On the back of the bus, the ghost just simply slid through the thin sheathing of the bus and landed down on the grass below once the kid was off it.

"We could stay here for a little longer," the ghost suggested, standing under the bus stop. "You don't have to go there now since it's noon."

The kid never looked at him and looked forward. The ghost sighed. He followed him. He sensed all this was leading to something horrible for the kid.

It was tough in the world.

All that responsibilities at such a young age. Deciding who you're gonna be – supposed to be. It's torture for people.

It's torture for young people.

Just like the kid.

"What do you plan to do in life, Arch?"

He stared at his older sister. Technically, she wasn't but he grew up with her and under his grandmother that they were basically raised as siblings.

"Uhm–"

"We're here," the kid whispered as he stood in front of a door. He whispered towards nobody in particular. The ghost looked around.

It was a nice cozy cul-de-sac with cookie-cutter houses all around. Trimmed lawns and boring carpentry, it looked like a dream for people wanting just a peaceful and modest life. He felt sick just looking at it. In his eyes, it looked dreadful – dreadfully boring for his taste.

His gaze went back towards the kid.

Amidst the golden yellow walls of the house and that disgusting red coloring of the door, he stood like some ominous presence.

Not some demonic presence or entity, but more a figure having one.

Was he that entity?

He detached himself from those thoughts and looked him over.

A tall man of his early twenties, his wearing of a dark grey hood made him all the more depressing to look at. He was handsome, to say the least. The ghost liked looking at him sometimes, especially when he laughed. He looked obnoxious for him but he looked more handsome when he looked like that. Like a teasing man teasing him.

He guessed people looked really better when they smiled.

He scoffed.

The kid looked back when he heard it. The ghost was still deep in his thoughts when he heard the kid's voice in his head.

Will you stay?

The ghost's head snapped up to look at him but the kid was back to simply staring blankly at the door as he stood. He didn't bother to ring the doorbell.

"Did you ring them up?"

The ghost asked concerned. The kid only answered with silence – silence in thoughts and words. He opted to take a step forward and stand beside the kid. He clasped his right hand in his left and looked up towards him and smiled reassuringly.

It was always nice to have somebody around. It was better when you feel it's against you.

The kid took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell.

It rang.

A scuttling noise from the inside and then soon, a young man came out and opened the door.

"What the hell happened to you?"

They – the kid and his older sibling – were in there for ages. There were shouts and mumbles, curses flying around. It was a mess inside. The ghost could only sit by the back patio and hear them out.

The ghost could only roll and play the dice in his hand.

He was agitated.

He was worried.

He was able to hold those dice in his hands.

As he looked around the wet and cold landscaping in the backyard, he couldn't help but wonder.

What would happen to him?

He just attached himself to the kid and now, the kid might never be free again. He didn't want to be a ghost of a person with family and friends – connections. He just wanted someone with who he can have time with.

Spend time with.

All these reminded him of how he died. How he became a ghost.

Flashing into his memory, it felt strange. He hasn't been reminded of his own death in a long time. It was short for him since he was dead but it felt long too. Long for him – him when he was still alive.

He wondered what kind of color his hair would be then.

Would he gain weight?

Would he be wrinkled by now?

He felt oddly amused and saddened. He always felt that way.

A resigned kind of thinking on them.

He sighed.

Eucalyptus trees in the back of the wooden fence. High enough to be about six foot in height.

A small playground set – slide and ladders and holes and

He shook the dice in his hands and opened.

Shuffle.

Scorpio.

Capricorn.

Aquarius.

He knew what they meant by then.

Intensity and depth of mind were needed.

Perseverance through tribulation towards rewarding success.

Letting one's mind roam free as intended to be.

Well, that's what he fathomed them to mean. He felt like these were just guides for them.

Each sign meant something, he stared onto them. They meant something sometimes. They were different for other people. It felt confusing.

If Capricorn appears, is it really always hardship or just meeting some goat somewhere?

He didn't know the answer.

Who could?

Although he was curious what the goat looked like.

He sighed again. There was nothing to do here.

He shuffled again. Nothing changed.

Same three signs.

He didn't get it.

There was a slamming of the door. He stood up and looked inside.

Peeking through the tinted window, he saw the older man, brother, whatever. He was standing there. Standing alone as he stared somewhere far out inside.

He looked dazed and lost.

Maybe they were close or something. He didn't know much since the kid rarely spoke much about his life.

He didn't really snoop around regarding his family. He didn't really care to. He just wanted someone to go places with.

He wanted someone.

He muffled a laugh to himself.

It was quite pathetic.

He walked around the small house. It looked quite old. Decades-old in his counting.

He looked inside one of the windows which he assumed was the room the kid went in.

The kid was naked again.

He shook his head at him.

Typical teenager.

"I know you're peeking through the window."

He saw him.

He sighed. He passed through the window and entered.

The kid was spread out on the bed, naked. He was staring towards the ceiling. Staring out like there was something there.

There wasn't.

Only a circular bulb was there, and dust. The dust was collecting heavily.

"You okay, big guy?"

The ghost asked again.

"Seeing me naked again, I see."

The kid just stated passively. He sounded a little bit teasing but it felt more of a distraction. A way to not talk about things.

Things.

The ghost just huffed with a slight laugh in reply. He sat beside the kid on the bed.

The kid on the bed sprawled out. The ghost just sitting on the edge, back laying on the headboard staring at the cabinet. White cabinet, full of scribbles.

Scribbles of childhood.

Doodles of dinosaurs.

A drawing of a superhero — must be some obscure superhero with a letter S stylized on the chest. Who could that ever be?

"Is it strange that shit happens and you find me always naked?"

The kid said. The ghost looked to his side where he was. The kid never gave him a glance or anything. His stare — his gaze towards the empty ceiling, his mind roaming the world. His eyes —

His eyes empty of the world.

He sighed.

He moved and faced where the ghost was. Putting his right elbow on the bed, he looked towards the ghost. The ghost could only sigh and laugh lightly — although, for the kid, it only felt like an abrupt gust of breath.

"This is just the second time," he said. His gaze not going towards the kid, lest he gets any ideas of him. "Naked and all," he added.

A pause.

They both took in a breath.

"What are you planning to do now?"

No response.

"You can't run from the question forever, you know."

The kid huffed. He got his upper body up on the bed and folded his knees under his elbows as he hugged them close to himself. Bowing his head, he just stared and roamed around in his thoughts. Then, he felt light touches on his back.

He raised his head towards his right. The ghost was wearing an apologetic smile. His left hand — his left fingers running themselves on his back. Playing paper dolls over his back, sending tingles toward his body.

"How did you die?"

The fingers stopped.

The kid was curious.

He never knew why the ghost was with him. He never knew a thing about the ghost other than two small facts he figured out as they were on the run — a short run — like how he could hold things when he was experiencing intense emotions, and how he was a ghost that was as clear as day to him.

"I never—"

"I'm sorry," the kid interrupted him. "I don't want to intrude or anyth—"

"I j— I'll tell you one day."

The ghost only smiled back at him. The kid just stared at him.

The only thing he could notice was that the kid had an intense gaze. Those kinds of gazes that mark one's body out. It cops you in a daze. He noticed that.

He was a gay ghost after all.

He is quite attracted to him but he felt it wasn't how he looked. It felt deeper.

Depth.

Then, out of the blue, the kid grabbed his left hand from over the linen it was settled on and clasped his fingers intertwined with his. He was able to hold him. He was thinking heavily. Heavier than most times in the short time they've spent together.

The ghost looked at him.

This time, the kid was the one wearing a reassuring smile towards him. He smiled back.

Eyes meeting each other, they let the world dissipate around them.

They laughed.

It was a comfortable laugh.

A little laugh was shared by two people lost in their own little world because the world forbade them to share the rest of it with them.

A few hours passed by, the kid was sleeping naked, sprawled out on the bed. The ghost was just lying beside him to his right.

His head filled with thoughts. Thoughts he didn't want to think about.

His racing mind was going back and forth.

"You know, Archie—"

Back and forth.

"—school is—"

Back and forth.

The kid had already been awake for a while now. His eyes closed slightly that he only got a narrow glimpse of the world around him. His head slightly facing the ghost to his side. The ghost laid back on the headboard. His random sighs and inhales. He felt concerned for him.

Worried, even.

He was dead.

He knew that fact clearly. But it didn't save him from his troubles in the afterlife. He was about to speak when suddenly a knock came from the cabinet.

"The fuck?"

The kid exclaimed. Pulling the ghost from his thoughts, he looked at the kid.

"What happened?"

"Someone knocked from the cabinets."

"What?"

The ghost was skeptical. Well, he was quite in a daze — in a sort of trance within himself when it happened so he wasn't sure if maybe the knock came from the door.

"Maybe, it came from the doo—"

"I heard it," he said quite creeped out. "It was from the cabinet."

The ghost stood up. He went forward towards the cabinet when something spoke from the inside.

"It smells in here, you assholes!"

He knew that voice as his face soured. The kid could only look in confusion. The ghost went and opened the doors of the cabinet and came falling down a figure in black.

Not just some figure in black.

It was a figure who looked like death but sounded like a scratchy-voiced chain smoker from the 70s.

It was Death in the flesh.

"You know," Death started as they rubbed what we could assume as the head part of the massive hooded ensemble he was wearing. "If you people just opened the cabinets, I wouldn't be feeling osteoporosis on my ass here."

Death looked down on the bed. He pulled the covers. He hit the footboard of the bed.

The ghost only went and pulled Death up making them grimace in obvious pain, "Hey, watch it!"

The ghost sighed and pulled Death up and sat them down on the foot of the bed. The kid, in his curiosity, came closer to the gloomy figure.

Pulling his sleeves back as they caught up with their breath, the kid looked him over closely. They felt quite violated in terms of privacy.

"It's rude to stare, kid."

The kid just flinched when he spoke. Death slowly looked in his direction and put on airs of scares.

"When you stare Death in the face, yo—"

"You smell like dried-out salad."

The kid just bluntly stated. Death was aghast.

"How fuckin' rude!"

They exclaimed standing up and then a sharp sound of bones cracking was heard. They went to sit again. The ghost caught him and guided him back on the bed as he mumbled under his breath about no remedy nowadays was working.

"What's the deal with you?"

The ghost stayed standing as Death looked up.

"I got wind of your situation and I—"

"Trying to do the right thing and help us of this so he can learn a lesson and I'd have a happy ending with a friend?"

Death simply glared at him. No one could see it but they felt it. For them, it was funny.

"Laugh if you want," they sighed as they rubbed their hip bones. "I didn't write this shitty story anyway."

They both laughed at that. The ghost sat beside Death and the kid came closer to them from behind.

"So what's the plan?"

Death looked up to the ghost, and then towards the kid. He sighed.

"Wanna run away on an adventure and just have it a go?"

The kid could only smile. A cheeky smile, full of mischief and daring. The ghost could only smile back even if he never intended to. He was being offered an escape. They were being offered an escape. An escape from the world.

He took in a deep breath and then exhaled.

"You ready?"

Death stood up. They offered them their hands.

The ghost stood up and took their left hand. They looked at the kid.

He was staring. His eyes were thinking and weighing it all heavily. His stare was deep and both the ghost and Death felt seen by it. The kid could only try to fathom the options before him.

Run away and let life take its course?

Stay and expect the worse?

As he gazed past the figure of afterlife condemnation, he saw no face.

"You can't see my face," Death mentioned. The kid didn't budge and just let it pass through his thoughts. "People can only see the people they want to see."

The kid hummed at that.

He stood up and took Death's hand — there wasn't. It was just an extra length of cloth extending from his long sleeves. They looked itchy. They also looked dirty. Like an unwashed washcloth hanging over the sink.

"I'm ready," he said but it sounded more like a whisper.

A whisper.

Was he still unsure?

He was but in his mind—

I don't really have a choice, don't I?

The ghost heard it in his own little head. He sighed. He felt a bit sorry but he wasn't sure why.

Then, the gaps of the door – the bedroom door – started to glow some bright white light. And then, smoke came out of it. The two could only watch as they looked back at it.

The kid was surprised and looked a little bit excited. The ghost — not so much.

"There's nothing burning outside, isn't there?"

The kid asked, a little bit worried. Death only scoffed at that.

"What do you think of me? An arsonist?"

"Hey," the kid raised his free hand. "Just checking."

"Tss," Death responded and pulled them towards the door. "Now, just go in one at a time."

"Where's it go?"

The kid was curious. He knew he was running away somewhere but he was never informed of where.

"Oh," Death said then they smiled mischievously. No one could see their smile but they knew they were smiling when he replied. The ghost only rolled his eyes and pulled Death's hand.

"We don't have all day."

"Fine," Death sighed, then looked back towards the kid. "Have a name?"

The kid's eyes grew wide. He felt like he couldn't say his name to Death lest there be some consequence. He looked in the direction of the ghost. The ghost simply sighed and replied for him.

"Jeff."

"You're a Jeff?"

"Got a problem with that?"

The ghost was the one that replied. Death smiled knowingly but again — no one could see it.

"Okay," he started. Then, he moved his hand — the one holding the kid's — towards the door and spoke, "Go in and uhm—"

They paused.

"Don't look back."

The kid unsure went towards the door and when he reached the handle, he looked back towards the ghost who was looking a bit unsure. Maybe he was unsure of what they were about to do.

"You coming?"

The ghost only smiled back as a reply. Death's head made a nudging motion towards him and he whispered a small 'okay' and opened it and entered.

The moment he stepped into wherever, he was shocked.

"What a dump!"