Agent Immortal

Darkness, it was all Alan Smith could see. His consciousness was returning to him. Did someone drug him? He felt his body, there weren't any feelings of waking up from a drugged state. His body actually felt pretty good. Why was he unconscious? Did someone knock him out? No, it didn't seem like it. Alan was trying to open his eyes. At first, everything was blurry, but soon his eyes were able to focus.

Looking down he saw his hands were in cuffs. He was still wearing the clothes he had on at home. He was sitting in his chair strumming his guitar; passing out soon after starting to play. Now, he was cuffed! Alan decided he had nothing to lose, so he lifted his head to take in his surroundings.

"They got you too, huh?" a voice asked beside him. Alan looked to his left to see a good-looking man in his late teens or early twenties. Do I know this person? Alan wondered to himself. "Got me too, got me for what?" He asked. "For being alive when you should be dead," the young man said to him.

"..."

"That got you on being alive too?" Alan asked. Was this kid putting him on? "Of course not, they arrested me for not letting you die. They have me on thirty-seven counts of unauthorized use of miracles," said the young man.

"..."

Alan was looking dumbly at his neighbor, why was he sitting next to a crazy person. Maybe he wasn't crazy, maybe this kid just liked messing with him. Instead of continuing to talk with the crazy kid, Alan began looking around. He seemed to be sitting in a hallway. Looking more closely, he was sitting in a hallway filled with people dressed up in suits reading documents and others, like himself who were in handcuffs. Was he in a courthouse of some kind?

The weirdest thing is every now and then he would see things like fiery people and blazing swords. Some people had wings and others did not. Even the other people in cuffs ranged from human to alien. There were even beings who looked like animals. Where was he?!

The more of the sites and sounds Alan took in the more worried he became. This place was both foreign and familiar. He wanted to ask his questions of someone but everyone ignored him. Alan looked back at the youth who still smiled at him. At least this kid was willing to talk with him. Maybe it was futile to ask this kid questions. He could be crazy, however, considering things as they are, who's to say Alan wasn't crazy.

"Ok, can you tell me your name?" Alan asked the kid next to him. "Maloke," the young man responded. "Do we know one another?" asked Alan. "I know you, but you don't know me," responded Maloke with a cheeky smile. "How do you know me?" asked Alan. "I'm your guardian angel, nice to meet you at last." Maloke beamed with a bright fanboy smile.

"..."

At first, Alan was convinced this character next to him was either crazy or just messing with him. Eventually, he decided to consider everything carefully. He needed to bring his training and experience to bear on the situation. For the last twenty years, Alan was the world's number one super spy. One part Sherlock Holmes, Two parts Bruce Lee, and three parts master of psychology. He was a living lie detector and could get to the truth of things. Some even believed he had some kind of mind powers. He didn't have mind powers, he just understood people too well.

As he scrutinized Maloke, Alan concluded he was telling the truth, and there wasn't any sign he was crazy. "Oh look, a flying cow man," thought Alan. Okay, Maloke might sound crazy but given how crazy his surroundings were it made Maloke normal.

"How does my guardian angel get arrested? I thought angels were perfect beings who never sinned. Maybe I'm wrong, I was an atheist my whole life," admitted Alan. "For a smart guy, you certainly fumbled the ball on that one, buddy," Maloke said as he continued to smile. "True, but it's not like God's existence was so clear," admitted Alan. "True," said Maloke thoughtfully as he continued to think. "Tell me, why are both of us in handcuffs?" Alan asked again.

"That's a funny story," laughed Maloke. "You see, the first part of your life you were pretty boring. First, you were a baby, grew up as an orphan, and went to school. You got into fights and messed around with girls, but you just seemed to be floating through life. Then, you went into the military and something seemed to click for you. You became hyper-focused, determined, and effective. You read everything you could get your hands on. You mastered chemistry, math, history, fighting, general sciences, and learned several languages. After you got out of the army you were recruited by the CIA and became a spook. I was absolutely amazed. You were like a phantom, coming and going as you pleased.

Over a few years of watching you, I became completely fascinated. It was like you never seemed to make a mistake, until one day you did. You nearly died and my enjoyment almost ended. As a guardian angel, I'm not allowed to interfere in your life for the most part. Truly the "guardian" part of the "guardian angel" is very limited. Guardian angels are charged to guard one thing in their charges lives. We guard their free will. Whether a person lives or dies as a result of their choices is up to them.

I was in a dilemma, you almost died and I let that happen, but if you had died I would have been reassigned to a new human. Who knows what that human would be like! I've served as the guardian angel for tens of thousands of people. Some people were good and others were evil, but eventually, they were all boring! Until you came along that is. You were exciting, you did things I never saw a human do before. I couldn't get enough of watching you live your life. Your life was exciting but dangerous. I knew you couldn't live this high stakes life for much longer. Your line of work required you to take too many risks. I decided to bend the rules and help you.

I rationalized my actions at first, I argued my interference was always in the interests of maintaining your free will. I eventually came to realize I was doing all of this just so I could continue enjoying watching you! I helped you make impossible shots, dodge fatal bullets, survive crashes, all sorts of things. I saved your life over two hundred times (that the courts don't know about). Unfortunately, I was eventually caught and here we are," explained Maloke.

"This explains why you're here, not why I'm here," persisted Alan. Maloke sighed resignedly. "It's true, those matters are why I am here. You are here because, first, you had to die you were way overdrawn on allowed personal miracles. Plus, you're a gray," said Maloke. "Gray?" asked Alan. "You're a person who is considered morally gray. You didn't commit enough sins to be considered a wicked person, but you didn't do enough good to be considered a righteous person. Additionally, you lived your life in a morally gray way. However, the environment you grew up in was almost black. Considering the factors regarding your life, you seemed to be a very moral person in spite of your experiences. Things aren't so simple. Since you're a gray you're going to be reincarnated to have another shot at life, but right now they're arguing where to send you. Should they reincarnate you onto a cow or bug, or should they let you live as a human again? It's all very complicated," admitted Maloke.

The moment Maloke finished speaking, the doors directly across from them opened and a burly man with the head of a moose walked toward them. Moosehead escorted the pair into the courtroom before a panel of judges.

"Guardian Angel Maloke and human Alan "Listen" Smith, please remain standing to hear your verdict," said the court reader. The panel of judges looked at the two men on trial passively with unreadable expressions. Alan was sweating a little, he didn't feel like things were going in his favor.

It is the ruling of this court that the human, Alan "Listen" Smith, will have his souls split into seven pieces," said the reporter. "Oww, soul splitting, very unpleasant," commented Maloke. "Six of the pieces of his soul will be scattered throughout his next realm and he will need to reclaim them," continued the reporter. "Oh, great it's a reunification punishment, this is very good news for you if you're successful your soul will be super powerful. You don't know anything about souls but I can tell you it's a good thing," encouraged Maloke.

Given the nature of this punishment, the human Alan "Listen" Smith will retain his memories and will receive additional rewards because the court recognized most of the things with your situation were beyond your control. Sorry about all this, you're a pretty cool guy," the reporter concluded his sentencing reading for Alan and then turned his attention to Maloke.

"Former Guardian Angel Maloke, you will reincarnate with human Smith into the same world. However, your soul will just be shoved into something random." Good luck to you both!

With the conclusion of the sentencing, Alan's vision darkened once more.