Chapter Thirty-Eight

When my eyes opened, I felt groggy. I stared at my white ceiling for a long time, feeling like what had happened was just a dream. There was no way Jason was standing in our living room, alive and well. There was no way that he held me and talked to me when he had died in my arms. Right? I blinked slowly, feeling something heavy across my stomach. I turned my head to the right, inhaling audibly. Laying at my side with his eyes closed was Jason. A shriek tore from my throat as I shoved myself off the bed. There was a loud thump when I hit the floor. I pushed myself away from the bed, pressing my back against the closet door. He popped up as soon as I had screamed, staring blankly at me as I sat on the floor.

"You're... you're alive!" I covered my mouth partly. My door burst open, my aunt and uncle running in.

"What happened?!" My aunt looked around as if she was searching for a burglar.

"He's alive!" I pointed to Jason and turned my head to gaze at her. She exhaled deeply, coming and sitting next to me. She faced me with a calm expression.

"Sweetheart, I know you saw him die. I know it destroyed your heart and it was very painful, but you are in denial right now. Jason is here. He is healthy and still very much in love with you." She rubbed my arm as I stopped pointing. "You have to accept that he is alive and not a hallucination."

"H... how do I accept that a lightning bolt revived my best friend? My fiancé!" I studied her. "He's just like Frankenstein's monster!" I peered at Jason who seemed hurt. His emerald eyes became dim and he looked down at the bed.

"Blake...."

"I... I don't know what's wrong. I should be happy that he is... alive, but it's just not working. My brain says it's wrong."

"That's grief, Honey." My aunt touched my face, making me look to her. "Let yourself feel that. You will heal from it and be able to move on."

"But he's not dead! Obviously!" I stated loudly.

"Yes, I know. But if you keep that pain you felt hidden in your heart, your heart will never heal." She gave a soft smile. "Come on. I'll show you what I did when I heard my sister had been sacrificed." She stood and pulled me to my feet. Silently, I followed her. She brought me outside and lead me down to the beach. The sun was setting and there were no people. We stood on the water's edge.

"Look out at the waves. See how peaceful they are. Listen to them against the sand. Against each other." She took a deep breath, releasing my hand. I watched the waves curling over themselves and listened to them crash down. The wind began to pick up. "Allow yourself to feel. Little by little. Break down the imaginary wall that is built around your heart." I exhaled deeply as sadness creeped over me. I imagined my heart surrounded by walls and taking a sledgehammer to it. As it began to fall apart, I felt more and more. I grabbed the shirt on my chest, gasping for air. The inability to breathe came so suddenly that it caught me off guard. My legs buckled, dropping me into the sand and I realized that I was crying. I remembered Jason lying lifeless in my arms, begging the world around me to help. I recollected the sensation of my heart shattering when I found that he had died. I cried out in pain, sobbing with a hand to my mouth. I didn't want to cry or feel this pain. I wanted to shut it away, but it was too late. I looked up at the sky as it darkened with clouds. I filled my lungs with air as I wept.

"JASON!" I screamed, a hole forming in the clouds. Lightning cracked across the sky, exploding with blinding white light. As suddenly as the pain appeared, it vanished. I was left looking up at the parting clouds with tears streaming down my cheeks and neck. I felt like I could breathe again, even as arms wrapped around me. I looked over to the waves again, huffing. After a long moment, I turned to see who held me in their arms. "Jason." I sniffled, looking into his emerald eyes. There were tears falling from his eyes and it made me want to protect him and hug him even after they stopped. I sat up on my knees and placed my arms over his shoulders and around his neck. His arms shifted to my waist, hugging me tightly.

"I'm sorry that I caused you so much pain." He whispered in my ear. "I don't ever want to see you in pain." I didn't reply, only hugged him.

"Don't leave me ever again." I exhaled deeply after a moment.

"Never again." He promised. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I put my forehead against his neck. "Forever and always."

"Forever and always."