The Magician's Abode

Since it was only ten o'clock in the evening, on my way home, I contacted Alan, telling him that I'd drained the plot, so I could meet him at the site tomorrow morning and set everything up. The sorceress hadn't specified what time to come to her, and I planned to visit her mansion around one o'clock, after I'd "found" the treasure, so I wouldn't have to waste time on it later.

"Great, send me the coordinates, I'll come by tomorrow with my sign... Wait, how did you drain it?

"Rented a pump, lowered the hose into the water, pressed the button to pump out the water.

"No... I told you we should just act like we're making a big fuss, but do nothing, dig small trenches to drain the water at most. You know that there is a Swamp Creature there that doesn't like to be disturbed by anyone disturbing the surrounding forest, don't you?" The older man asked excitedly. - Weren't you warned about it before you bought it?

"Oh... That's what you mean. - Hell, I feel like a visitor to some mysterious hick town where all the inhabitants know and observe certain rituals in order not to get into trouble, like falling into the clutches of a monster living in the corn when the blood-red moon rises in the sky, or on the table of a family of cannibals living in the catacombs left after the Second World War.

"Jay, Jay, are you still there?

"Yeah, I'm still here. I got a little hung up. - I answered, coming back to the real world.

"Well, if there's a risk of a monster, then you shouldn't go there, and you shouldn't go near the forest for at least a couple of days. I remember I said I'd do it this week... Hmm, we could try to set up a fake auction, put up something, like your jacket, and have it bought by a front man, legalizing some of the cash.

Dershowitz generated a great idea, but I had other plans.

"Wait, that's a great idea, but don't forget our first option. You don't have to worry about the creature, I've made a deal with him, so we'll be able to do it quietly, as long as we don't make any noise. - I hurried to reassure the lawyer, but he made a strange quacking noise and fell silent. - Alan?

"Ugh," he sighed heavily, "sometimes I forget who I'm dealing with. Okay, then, nine o'clock tomorrow morning would be okay?

"I didn't really want to get up at six in the morning, and Harley wouldn't get much sleep. - Let's make it 10:00.

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow then. If anything changes, give me an hour's notice, and don't forget to send me the coordinates. - The lawyer said finally, ending the call.

***

At home, my favorite girl was waiting for me, who hardly paid attention to my arrival. Harlequin was sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by scribbled pages torn from a notebook. In her left hand she was holding a tape measure, and in her right hand a pencil, occasionally chewing on its tip, which clearly symbolized an intensified work of the brain.

Moving closer, I picked up one of the crumpled papers, revealing a bunch of numbers and a schematic representation of some kind of box with bars.

"No, that won't work either. - She muttered under her breath, and a second later a new note flew into my forehead.

"Sunshine, what are you doing?

"А? Mr. J, you're back!" Harley was on her feet immediately, wrapping her arms around me and reaching up to kiss me.

How could I say no to such a pretty girl? After the traditional greeting, I managed to restrain myself when I discovered that one pretty blonde girl's stupid bra wouldn't come undone.

"Okay, stop. First, what's going on here?" Taking the girl by the shoulders, I looked carefully into her sky-blue eyes, which were filled with a sea of passion and adoration. It took my charming assistant a couple of seconds to realize the question, which she answered:

"Was figuring out how to place the cage so it's not too conspicuous, but still spacious. I'm still not sure it will be needed though.

"A cage. Right, she wanted a pet. I thought it was a whim, but she seems serious. Well, soon we'll have a lot of money and we'll move somewhere bigger. At least she can have hyenas, which she liked from the comic books. - All right. Uh-huh. Can you tell me where I stand?

~Click~

In one motion she released her juicy melons, which I immediately began to play with, and I had absolutely no time to think.

***

Waking up early in the morning and getting cleaned up, we grabbed a gift for the sorceress, packed in a beautiful box with a gorgeous red bow, and set off for the marshes. On the way I contacted the firm where I rented the pump, informing them that their services were no longer required and the driver could pick up the equipment at any convenient time. I didn't see the point of going to the plot at once, having decided to reach it in the company of Alan and his mysterious companion, so we settled down on one of the benches where we first met the realtor, having previously called and informed him where we were. At exactly nine fifty we heard the noise of several cars nearby, and then they showed themselves. I easily recognized the first car - it was a dark blue Fordick of the lawyer, but the next car looked like an armored black box on powerful wheels. Not a gram of elegance, only brutality and rough chopped forms.

Alan parked the car and immediately got out of it to greet us. A tall, thin, bald man in his forties, dressed in a formal black suit, left the vehicle next. Huh, almost Slenderman-esque, I think they'll be able to get along well with Swampy.

"Jay, it's-" Dershowitz started to say, but was gently interrupted by an approaching man.

"You don't have to. Cain Krueger-Keplin, or just Cain. - The unknown man introduced himself at once, cutting his ear with a rough accent reminiscent of German. - I apologize for my haste, but I'd like to leave this place as soon as possible.

"Jay Arkham and Harleen Quinzel.

"Heard that. - He nodded his head briefly.

On reflection, we traveled the rest of the way on our own, fearing the Swamp Creature's wrath. The four of us were accompanied by two other men carrying a large container and two shovels, whom Cain simply introduced as his assistants. They were dressed in baggy gym clothes, but Harley had a keen eye for firearms, so I was on my guard, though it was probably just a precaution, given their valuable cargo.

It was relatively easy going, as we were following the track left by the truck carrying the pump, so after only fifteen minutes we reached our destination.

"Phew. - The man dragging the container whistled, earning a disapproving look from the Slenderman.

I don't know what my companions were thinking when they saw an obviously mutated tree and a completely dry clearing with a carpet of yellowed grass, but they refrained from asking questions.

Cain meticulously examined one of the tree roots and asked:

"Is it okay to dig here?

"Uh... Yeah. Just why?

"Get started. - He said to his assistants, and he stepped aside a little, beckoning us to follow him. - Just a formality. The treasure is found somewhere, so it is desirable to make everything look more or less natural.

As he spoke, his minions were cheerfully digging a small depression.

"I see," I replied, "do I need to do anything else?

"No. By tonight, the money will be in your account and my client will have legitimate jewelry. The only thing is that you'll have to endure a siege of journalists, but given the terrain, they're unlikely to bother you much. Besides, you can always," he ran his thumb across his throat, "blame it on the local monster.

Who the hell are these people Alan knows? Cain wasn't kidding. Although, given the cooperation with the former psychopathic clown, such companions shouldn't be too shocking.

Soon the hole was dug, and a real chest, looking rather shabby, was extracted from the container. Like a pirate's treasure, the two good men placed the wooden box in the hole and immediately buried it, jumping on top of a small hill. As far as I understood from the explanations of the new acquaintance - it is necessary for expertise, in case someone wants to take an analysis of the earth, but it is not a fact that they will bother with it. If the sums are less than two million, this circus is not necessary at all: you buy a designer item on paper, like a fancy tea table, and immediately transfer the money to the account.

After digging up the trunk and placing it back in the container, our delegation proceeded back. Before leaving, the bald man with the funny acronym handed me a business card, offering the Falcone family's services in legalizing cash for a small percentage. When he got into his vehicle, he waved, and the car left the parking lot with a roar, and I stood there, staring at them, clutching the laminated card in my hand, trying to figure out what I was in for.

I wasn't an expert on the DC universe, but it's hard not to recognize one of Gotham's famous mafia families. With the arrival of Bats and the various supervillains, the Falcone's have much less power, but five years ago they owned almost half the city, both the legal and illegal parts, which tells a lot to a knowledgeable person.

Now I can see why Alan was so reluctant to talk about canceling the debt.

I had a pretty good idea what I was getting into, considering the three hundred million dollars. Strange asshole, couldn't have had a smaller retirement fund! And now I have to think about how to legalize the rest of the fucking dough... And then I'll have to spend it.

"Mm-hmm. - I woke up from my unhappy thoughts to the feeling of someone kissing me.

"There, I told you it would work!" The girl said contentedly, giving me another peck on the cheek.

"Ahem... Yes..." Alan shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. - It was effective, but I wouldn't repeat it. Jay, I'm gonna head back to the office. I'll contact you as soon as the auction is ready.

After saying goodbye, Dershowitz left the clearing, leaving us alone.

"You're making noise again.

"Fuck!" Harley and I exclaimed at the same time, jumping away from each other. Swamp Thing stood behind us, staring at us with obvious judgment. You don't even have to ask how I realized it, given the complete lack of facial expressions and the red eyes with the black pupil point, but it felt that way.

"The Immortal will awaken soon. Are you ready?" Said the green monster.

Like I don't know that?! Although two weeks before the full moon is a relatively long time if I believe the news, I don't know if Zee will help me. I wonder if I can find John Constantine in a week if the sorceress refuses to help me and won't give me access to the magical library. John's supposed to be less picky about his methods, considering he slept with a succubus in the comics.

"Ugh. - I took my finger off the harpoon button, trying to calm my rapidly pounding heart. - Don't do that again, or I might turn gray early or die, and there'd be no one to deal with Grundy. Whew. Ha ha ha. - The system has given me back my peace of mind. - Not yet, but I'll address that issue soon.

"Good. - He looked at Harley sadly, somehow, and then silently retreated beneath the tree crowns. Fucking ninja voyeur.

"I think he was offended that I took off his present. - Said the blond girl as she approached.

"The wronged are the wronged. - With a bit of folk wisdom, I led the girl to the exit. I didn't want to deviate too much from the plan.

***

"Eh, that's something I figured...

"Come on," the electric bicycle was walking next to me, "but the rent here should be cheap and the neighbors quiet.

Right now we were walking under an umbrella along the low fence of the gloomy cemetery, along Jefferson Street. Even though it was only one o'clock in the afternoon, it was dark out, because of the clouds that shrouded the sky, and a fine, nasty rain drizzled down, adding to the gloom of the surroundings.

"Huh. - As I approached the right place, I activated my emotional peak smoothing, finding the cemetery fence suddenly changed. The cemetery fence had been altered, and the cemetery could have been relocated somewhere farther away.

A large black wrought iron gate blocked our path, through which we could see a gloomy three-story mansion. The paint had long ago peeled off the facade, exposing the age-darkened boards. The foundation was made of roughly hewn blocks, making the building look heavy. Surprisingly, the usual Gothic elements were completely absent, replaced by a design in the style of old England mansions. The house was as if transported directly from horror movies. It is in such buildings with happy smiles that a family enters with joyful smiles, having learned that a couple of years ago there was a brutal murder with elements of cannibalism and sacrifice.

My assistant touched the metal flap, and the gate began to open majestically under the influence of an invisible force.

"Cool *-*.

I was in complete solidarity with Harley.

It's certainly not Hogwarts, but the feeling of something mysterious and magical is in the air.

After passing a small stone path that clearly wasn't being followed much, and climbing the steps, I rang the doorbell.

~Ding-dong~

The classic ringing sound reached my ears. After a while, the door opened silently, revealing the illusionist in her standard sexy outfit.

"You're just in time. Come on in. - Zatanna stepped aside to let us into the house.

Inside there was a long corridor with many locked doors, after passing through which we found ourselves in a spacious living room, decorated in a strange Turkish style: low sofa-chairs with embroidered ornate ornaments, lit candles in different parts of the room and this in the presence of a normal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, on the tea table was a smoker, emitting a thin purple stream of smoke. One word: magical. There was even a small white pentagram in the far corner. Okay, I don't really like that last part.

"Where's Mr. Fluffy?" Harley, correctly prioritizing her priorities, decided to find out what was most important.

"Do you want me to freeze you again?" The illusionist asked, stepping around us and standing in the center of the room.

"Do you feel sorry for me?

"You almost ruined him last time and ruined the cylinder, of course I feel sorry for him.

"Oh, right!" Harlequin pulled a box out of her bag, wrapped in green wrapping paper and tied with a red bow. - Here. It's from Mr. J, well, from me, too.

The enchantress eyed the gift suspiciously, taking a step back.

"What's in there?" She asked tensely.

What kind of weird reaction is that?! I looked at the colorful box that seemed to be shouting: I looked at the colorful box that screamed, "There's something really cool about me, unwrap me!" and then I looked at the blond cutie whose eyes were filled with amusement and anticipation. Come to think of it, this kind of attention from Joker's assistant and himself was fraught with big problems. The victim would be lucky if there was an ordinary cake inside that shot him in the face, but there could be acid in the sprayer or a small mine filled with rusty nails.

"Oops, sorry, Z. I didn't think about how it would look. - I unpacked the box myself, taking out a beautiful cylinder. Some might say, "It's just a simple headdress. What's so special about it?" But I thought Bill Finger was practically an Ollivander when it came to clothing. It was made of some very dark material, which made it lose volume, giving it mystery. It was a little different in size from the previous one, being smaller in height, which made it look more feminine and elegant.

"Is that for me?" The sorceress said in surprise, taking a hesitant step forward.

"Who else?" I asked with a smile, watching her amused reaction.

"Hmmm... - She stepped even closer, extending her arm. - EGGSAMROFNI.

A faint wave spread from her open palm. When she touched the accessory, it returned almost immediately, and a satisfied expression appeared on Zatanna's face.

"Thank you, it's a really nice gift. - She said, picking up the cylinder to try it on immediately. - Does it fit me?

"You betcha!

"It looks awesome!

"Thank you. - The sorceress looked around for a mirror, but not finding one, she sighed sadly, looking at our couple carefully again. - Now, take turns standing over here. - She pointed to the pentagram that confused me.