Chapter 5: Qiu_2

Yueyao listened to these words, and though she knew Hua Lei meant well, she would not do as suggested. Saving money to spend on Lady Mo and her children was out of the question for her. She wasn't short of money. The silver left by her parents was more than enough for her to spend in this lifetime. "If I tell you to take it, just take it. There's no need for so many words. Let your mother nurse her health for a few more days, and once she's well, you'll be able to serve me with peace of mind."

Hua Lei knew Yueyao's temperament. Having said it twice, she knew the young lady would be annoyed if her kindness were rejected again. She accepted the silver and thanked her for the grace.

At this moment, Hua Lei's heart was filled with immense joy, not because of the silver, but because of her young lady's change. The young lady was extremely intelligent; she just hadn't been cautious before. Now that she had become wary, Hua Lei believed that with her young lady's wit, she needn't fear those with ulterior motives.

Yueyao observed Hua Lei's expressions and felt a slight sinking in her heart. Even if she were to live her life over, faced with someone as ruthlessly boundless as Lady Mo, she wasn't completely sure she could handle her. However, fortunately, she now had her guard up. As long as she was well-prepared, she believed that Lady Mo could no longer manipulate her life as in the previous one.

Yueyao got herself ready to visit the Old Madam in the Upper Chamber. Mu Qiu and Hua Lei both urged Yueyao to rest properly; the Old Madam had already said that it sufficed for her to visit on the first and fifteenth days of the lunar month. Previously, Yueyao did just that, spending the rest of her time copying scriptures. But this time, no one could persuade Yueyao to stay.

Yueyao insisted on visiting the Upper Chamber immediately for two reasons: first, others like Yueying visited daily, and she no longer wanted to be the exception; second, she wanted to reemerge before everyone and show them her transformation.

The heavy rain from the previous night had left water pooled on the eaves and the road. The central stone pathway was slightly elevated and thus not waterlogged. Still, a light drizzle persisted outside.

Nanny Gu held a green canvas umbrella, ready to assist Yueyao. Yueyao spoke faintly, "Nanny, you are also advanced in years, and the roads are slippery when wet. Let Hua Lei hold the umbrella, and you should rest a bit more in the courtyard." After experiencing the discomfort of yesterday, Yueyao's mentality had steadied considerably. She needed to deal with this person slowly, hastily rushing wouldn't do.

She had suffered greatly in her last life for not listening to her mother, and in this life, she remembered her mother's words well. Her mother's teachings were the practical ones.

Nanny Gu dared not say more. She had raised the young lady and knew her temperament extremely well. If she spoke out now, it would only make the young lady more annoyed. Although Nanny Gu was full of reluctance, without understanding the reason, she decided to follow the young lady's wishes. She handed the green canvas umbrella to Hua Lei, "Take good care of the young lady, don't let her get wet."

Hua Lei took the umbrella, wondering to herself what had gotten into the young lady, who, although not completely compliant in the past, usually followed the wet nurse's lead. What could have caused her to refute the wet nurse's dignity today? But she couldn't ask this out loud. She held the umbrella aloft, angling it predominantly towards Yueyao.

Yueyao walked along the stone pathway, extending her hand beyond the umbrella to let the rain hit it, the ice-cold sensation bringing her a sense of reality.

Yueyao walked slowly, her mind drifting to the past. After her grandmother passed away, Lady Mo complained that Yueyao's residence in Lanxi Garden was too far from the Upper Chamber, suggesting she move out and live alongside Lian Yuebing for companionship, so she wouldn't be lonely. Initially refusing because she didn't want to leave her father's courtyard, she felt reluctant to depart.

Yet, Lady Mo did not express annoyance over this; on the contrary, she showered her with even more affection. Whether clothing, food, or daily necessities, what she gave her was always the best, even surpassing her legitimate children.

Back then, youthful and naive, she only felt joy and gratitude, devoutly revering Lady Mo as if she were her own mother. Mu Qiu, too, frequently praised Lady Mo's virtues. Ultimately, because of this, she followed Lady Mo's suggestions and moved out of Lanxi Courtyard to live with Lian Yuebing.

Looking back now, I realize how naive I was in my youth. If a person favors another's child over their own, there are only two possible scenarios. One is out of gratitude, a mark of a true gentleman; the other is with ulterior motives. And Lady Mo, she belonged to the latter. But it was her youth, and having lost her parents, that led her into the trap. Once someone clings to a false belief, they won't turn back unless they've hit rock bottom.

In fact, I don't hate them for the Shen family calling off the marriage or for Lady Mo swindling the money. The Shen family scorned me for being an orphan, unable to bring benefits to Shen Conghao – it's understandable. I don't hate Lady Mo for coveting my money either. No man is guilty for possessing a jade, but the guilt lies in harboring it – such a large sum of money is indeed tempting. But what Lady Mo should never have done was to sell me. Even if I had married someone beneath me, I wouldn't have hated her like this. Yet, she had the heart to sell me for money, not just to a merchant, but also as a concubine to someone else, treating me as an object (as a concubine is essentially an object).

After I learned the truth, I struggled with whether or not to seek revenge. If I sought revenge, and it came to light, the Lian family would be utterly ruined.

Once in the Capital City, I heard that my great-uncle, Lian Dongfang, had risen to the high rank of Third Rank. Both my male cousins had bright futures, and Lian Yuebing had married into Marquis Luyang's Mansion, becoming Marchioness, and reveling in luxury and wealth. Even a daughter born of a concubine had married a rich and powerful merchant from Jiangnan.

They were living such happy lives, holding high offices, enjoying splendor and riches, all built on the suffering of my family. What's more, they had tormented me endlessly. I couldn't accept it, I couldn't accept it, and I would never accept it in death.

If they could commit such cruel acts, why should I hesitate? At that time, I stopped contemplating the consequences of my actions. I was determined to get justice for myself.

Yueyao gave a bitter smile. She had gotten justice for herself. But now, I wonder whether what I did was right or wrong. To me, it was justice served, it was revenge taken. But to the Lian family, I was a sinner, an unforgivable sinner.

A scholarly family selling their legitimate niece to a merchant as a concubine – once confirmed, this would be the end of the Lian family's reputation, with no standing left in the Capital City.

A century-old scholarly family reduced to nothing because of me. The Lian family's years of effort and struggle, the reputation built over many generations, all buried by my hands. Fortunately, I wasn't dead. If I were to face the Lian ancestors, how could I confront them?

Hua Lei and the other maids by her side saw that Yueyao had once again fallen into silence, with a sad aura enveloping her.

Hua Lei quickly asked, "Miss, what's wrong?"

Startled, Yueyao came to her senses and, shaking her head, said, "It's nothing. Let's go."

Seeing Yueyao's state, Hua Lei was very worried. What was wrong with her mistress, to be lost in thought like this all the time! From morning until now, she had been daydreaming. And it wasn't just daydreaming; the mistress was shrouded in sorrow. But just a moment ago, everything was fine!

Alas, the mistress must be thinking of the Old Master and Madam again.

Yueyao walked slowly. From Lanxi Courtyard to the Upper Chamber, it would take a half-hour's walk. To others, it was just a half-hour's journey, but for Yueyao, it felt as though she had walked through an entire past life.