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Glory to my chief Proofreader; Solare for he is the one who points out mistakes and acts as my favourite wall to bounce ideas off of.
600 Power Stones = Extra Chapter.
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Following Todo's declaration, an overwhelming silence covered the entire area as Miwa, Nobara and the man himself all awaited Megumi's answer in anticipation.
"Well, before I answer. I need you to clarify; do you want my very specific tastes or just a vague answer?" Megumi asked.
"Guys who have bad tastes are boring and since your tastes reveal everything about a man, if you have boring tastes then you yourself must be boring. So be as specific as you like, but you had better not disappoint me and be boring or I'll pound your teeth in till next week!" Shouted out the scarred man immediately.
"The kind of woman I like would be a woman who could kick my ass in a fight, even if she wasn't stronger than me. I also want someone with a strong personality, I can't handle spineless women that provide zero input." Megumi answered, not caring to filter his inner desires in the slightest.
As the black haired man continued on with divulging his tastes, one could watch as the orange haired girl besides him went through several stages of reactions.
At first it was confusion at his choice to humour the odd man, then it was exasperation at him actually answering him seriously and then it was disbelief at the sheer insanity of the situation. The latter was shared by Miwa Kasumi who couldn't be more speechless if she tried.
"As for her body, I would say I like boobs just as much as the next guy, but personally I like thighs the most. I would say the hottest thing a woman can have is to be able to crush your skull into powder with her thighs alone." The special grade sorcerer nodded along as he continued explaining his tastes, not caring in the slightest as he felt Nobara's almost disgusted stare.
"I'd also prefer if she were older than me if possible; I do have a big thing for 'milfs' after all, but I'm fine with one that's younger. And of course she has to be atleast easy on the eyes if I want to be with her for a longer period of time." He then concluded.
At first there was pure silence after he finished speaking as the other three people all took in his words with many varied reactions, however it was Nobara Kugisaki who spoke first.
"Man, I don't know whether to feel disgusted or pleasantly surprised. On one hand your taste isn't completely perverted and on the other I have a small urge to stab you…" She confessed.
"That's… That's…" Todo muttered out, his face being covered by shadows as he did so while everyone else held their breaths in anticipation.
"THAT'S NOT BORING AT ALL!" The scared man shouted out in excitement.
This caused Miwa to sigh in relief besides him, as she believed that he wouldn't cause a scene and fight now since he was satisfied with Fushiguro's taste. All the while Nobara groaned in annoyance, knowing that the next few moments might cause her to lose brain cells.
"YOU ACTUALLY HAVE DECENT TASTE! While I can't say thighs are the best thing about a woman, they're definitely up there! And your choice of women with a backbone, you truly deserve to be a Special Grade Sorcerer!" Aoi Todo decreed from the bottom of his heart while pointing towards his new Good Friend with revelry and joy.
"I'm glad you think so, Todo. Tall Girls with Big Asses aren't too bad either, they're definitely one of the all time greats." Megumi said as he reached a hand forwards and offered it towards the equally tall man.
"I was afraid you might be boring and I would have had to beat you within an inch of your life, I am glad that wasn't the case my good friend!" The scared man admitted as he grasped the other man's hand with a giant grin which was reciprocated.
CLAP!
"So am I!"
"Thank god, I thought they were gonna fight for a second there! Kamo-san would have scolded me so hard if they did" Miwa sighed out as she let out a breath she had been holding for a while.
"..." "..."
"...Why did you have to say that? You jinxed it!" Nobara groaned out while facepalming.
"I'm sorry!" The blue haired girl cried out in response.
"...Wanna have a small spar before I leave? I have a Takada-chan signing event to get to soon!" Todo asked, uncaring of Miwa's plight.
"Fuck it why not?" Megumi replied, his grin widening as he gripped the other man's left hand with his right even harder.
Then faster than the other two could even blink, Megumi's fist blurred forwards Todo's face and brutally smashed into it. However, Megumi had still not let go of the other man's hand causing him to merely turn his face to the side in slight surprise.
"W-Wait, Zen'in-san please don't-!" Miwa pleaded, worried for her classmate but was stopped in her tracks when she saw her classmate's face be covered by a grin.
"Good idea my Friend, let us test our mettle!" Todo declared, his hand gripping the other man's even harder.
He threw a punch of his own which Megumi made no move to dodge, taking it on the chin. He paused for a moment to take in the pain of the hit, before throwing his own again with this time having more power behind it not caring as he received a punch of his own right afterwards.
"Ugh, my goddd. This is so dumb, this can not get any dumber." Nobara said as she watched the two of them start to nonsensically beat the shit out of each other.
The both of them started slow with only a little bit of their base physical strength, then started ramping it up slowly as they matched the other's pace. Punch after punch, hit after hit, neither cared even as blood and spit flew off of their exchange.
Megumi had to actively limit himself with every punch and be extra careful to match his opponent's strength while suppressing his surging Bloodlust.
However, slowly but surely, they reached each other's limit in physical strength.
"I should have guessed, you're a special grade for a reason after all." Todo laughed out as blood started to drip from his nose.
"You shouldn't take it too hard, I'm hardly a normal Human anymore." Megumi chuckled, his face being marred by a small mark or two but not much more damage.
It was completely clear to all present; in Pure Physical Strength, Fushiguro Megumi has outclassed Aoi Todo by a significant margin due to his several Perma-Mutations.
"Shall we ramp it up, or do you concede?" Megumi questioned, bringing up his left arm once more which was burning with Obsidian Cursed Energy.
"Do you even need to ask?" The scared man brought up his right arm as it lit up with his own cursed energy, if one was paying close attention they would even see cursed energy waft off into heart shaped globs of cursed energy.
The two of them proceeded to begin their impromptu slugfest once more, this time they started with only a little bit of cursed energy reinforcement before ramping up to higher and higher levels while matching each other's strength as much as possible.
"... I was wrong, this just got so much dumber." Nobara sighed out, utterly exasperated at the situation.
This continued for the next few minutes, even as both of their faces were covered by bruises and blood, neither stopped the test nor did they take a second to breathe.
They even started to laugh like maniacs while throwing haymaker after haymaker at the other's face without remorse.
However, as they ramped up their cursed energy reinforcement, one thing was becoming perfectly clear.
And it was that Todo, while an incredibly strong sorcerer in his own right, was simply incapable of matching the special grade sorcerer in pure strength.
Megumi brought his arm backwards alongside a maniacal laugh, instinctually causing it spark with Golden Electricity as he did so, before it shot forwards into the Scared man's face with a vicious brutality which caused a loud crunch to sound out as he was flung backwards and through a wall.
He stood there for a moment, breathing in and out with a grin as he waited for his sparring opponent to get up so that they could continue their fight. He paused for a moment as he saw Nobara approach him and stand by his side, he passively brought his arm up to touch his face and felt some bruises already beginning to form.
"You two about done beating the brain cells out of each other? 'Cuz I honestly lost some by just watching the two of you do.. Whatever that was." She called out, wanting to finally be done with this whole mess and go home.
"Almost, I have a feeling he and I have a few more things to do before we're satisfied." The black haired man stated, moving his hand up to his face and wiping all the blood off with one swipe, feeling all the bruises on it as he did so.
"For real? How much more do you two need to brutalise-" Kugisaki questioned but cut off by a loud crashing sound, she instinctively dodged to the side and narrowly avoided a cluster of broken rubble that scattered in the air before landing around Megumi.
CLAP!
"Oh this crafty bastard-!"
Megumi immediately noticed that each broken bit of rubble was filled to the brim with cursed energy, however he was unable to stop the scared man's plan as he appeared from behind him and roundhouse kicked him in the back of his head.
CLAP!
Megumi turned around to catch the man but watched him instantly disappear with a clap right as he was about to land a hit. And just as he missed, a presence appeared behind him for a moment before he was kicked in the back of his knee.
CLAP!
He had barely managed to stay on his feet after that surprise hit, however he was immediately assaulted a moment after by a punch to the liver. Megumi gritted his teeth in pain but he refused to fall into a cycle and readied himself to counter the next attack.
'He went from the front, then behind, then to my right! That means the most likely place he's coming from should be to the left, but that's what he wants me to think! He must be coming from behind again!' Megumi deduced, as he readied himself to backhand Todo just as he swaps again.
CLAP!
Megumi swung his fist backwards with blinding speeds just as he heard the clap, expecting to smash into his opponent's body, only to end up hitting nothing at all.
'HE NEVER SWITCHED!'
Before he could turn to defend himself, a pair of arms burning with cursed energy wrapped around his waist before he felt himself be lifted up from the ground.
"SHIT, SHIT, SHIT-!"
Megumi elbowed the man holding him to no avail as within less than a second, he was suplexed into the ground behind them so hard he crashed through the ground and was pushed a few metres further due to the momentum.
"Don't feel too bad Fushigobro, There is nothing my IQ of 530,000 can not analyse and outsmart!" Todo declared while turning around before he tapped his head with one hand and kept the other on his hip.
"Pfft, y-you could say he planted a 'Dumbass Tree' AHAHAHA!" Nobara quipped before she laughed at her own joke, having long lost her annoyance and was taking the chance to laugh at her classmate's misfortune.
"I am done!"
They watched as the rubble was shattered, leaving behind only dust as Megumi got up from his place on the ground. One could see veins bulging on his forehead as he heard Nobara's mockery before it faded away and was replaced by a devious smile.
"Since you seem bored and in the mood for a laugh, so how's this for a joke." Megumi said, the shadows under him expanded as from within them emerged a group of merged beasts, albeit a basic kind.
"Merged Beast: The Well's Unknown Abyss."
This basic merger incorporates Gama as the base and enhances them in a merger with Nue to create winged Toads that can fly with increased mobility, as well as use their tongues to restrain opponents or catch projectile attacks.
The merged beasts were not like the rest of their brethren as they weren't built with maximum efficiency and power to be extracted in mind, they were instead merely summoned for one purpose; pettiness.
"You guys go and give Auntie Nobara a big hug, will you? Uncle Todo and I need to have a chat…" The black haired man ordered, summoning this merged beast specifically because he knew that Kugisaki was incredibly disgusted by toads of all kinds.
"Oh hell no! You little bastards better keep your distance or I will nail all your asses back onto your daddy's face!" Kugisaki shouted out, pulling out a Nail Gun as she did so.
At Megumi's recommendation, she had started using a Nail Gun in conjunction with her Cursed Technique about a month ago. She's using the Nail Gun to supplement her battles and fighting at Long Ranges as well as to have a quick release side arm for her technique while also slowly transforming it into a Cursed Tool which would be very compatible with her Technique.
The group of merged beasts flew in her direction, she also readied her hammer and nail in preparation to make good on her promise. The Merged Beasts and her started a dance right after, where she would strike down any shikigami that close and they would aim to 'give her a hug'.
"And as for you…" Megumi's shadows didn't stop at merely summoning a merged beast as they began to seep further throughout the area, covering a good percentage of the arena and subsequently devouring anything left on the ground, specifically any rubble that contains remnants of cursed energy that could be used by Todo for his Cursed Technique.
"Can your '530,000 IQ' predict this?!" The shadows under Megumi bubbled over as if they were preparing to summon a powerful Shikigami, even a merger was possible with how large the area of the shadows were.
'It has to be a Shikigami, with how much cursed energy it might even be another Merged Beast or that 'Funeral Tiger' Kamo told me about!' Todo deduced, readying himself to use his Cursed Technique 'Boogie Woogie' to outwit and outsmart his opponent once more.
'I'll just swap with the Shikigami as soon as he summons it and- Eh?' Todo continued to plan but was stopped when he saw something he could not have expected being shot flying out of Megumi's shadow at absurd speeds.
"I-Is that an Alaskan King sized bed?" Miwa mumbled under her breath, she was unable to comprehend everything that was happening around her due to the cognitive dissonance of the situation.
On one hand, Kugisaki was currently being surrounded by seemingly unending Flying Toads with wings and was currently at a stand still trying to keep her ground.
It was as if she was being assaulted by a hoard of zombies that wanted to devour her flesh, it didn't help that Megumi was actively creating more to replace the fallen shikigami.
And on the other, Todo was just slammed backwards by an utterly Gigantic Bed that must have been an Alaskan King sized bed, mattress and all, and was currently being thrown into a wall due to the speeds the bed was shot at him.
"Mhm, it was."
"Why do you have an Alaskan King Sized Bed in your shadow…?"
"Because you never know when you might need one! AHAHAHAHA!"
Miwa just stood there, utterly speechless and unable to reply as she watched Megumi laugh out towards the heavens. A few moments later the bed that covered Todo was thrown to the side as the scared man made his way back towards the fight.
"How was that for a surprise 'Brodo'?" Megumi quipped, calling back to the nickname the man gave to him a few moments prior.
"Well, I won't lie Fushigobro, that really took me off guard. You were right, I couldn't have predicted that!" Todo confessed, reaching up to his eye and wiping away a bit of blood that was covering it.
"Argh damn! I didn't expect to be dirtied so much in the spar, I need to go visit Ieiri-san now and heal before taking a bath! I can't face Takada-chan like this!" He stated, looking around as he tried to find the way to go to the medical ward.
In another universe, this would have been the end of the encounter as both Fushiguro Megumi and Todo Aoi would have gone their separate ways after bonding to become very good friends.
However; fate had another thing in mind for him.
"SHIT YOURSELF!"
Everyone instantly froze in place at that voice, it was as if a primal fear had shot through the veins of everyone present no matter how strong.
Even Fushiguro and Kugisaki froze in terror as although they recognised the owner of the voice, it only brought them more fear.
For a moment, there was no sound as everyone awaited the inevitable, before the sound of a loud and wet fart echoed throughout the area causing everyone to turn towards its origin point.
There stood Todo Aoi, utterly frozen with his face being filled with surprise and horror.
"What are you guys doing, why are you fight- eh? What's going on, weren't you guys fighting to the death here?" Panda shouted out as he approached the group in aims to stop what they thought was a hard fought battle.
"Uhh, we were just sparring and had even stopped right before you guys came in here." Megumi answered them, wiping sweat off his face in relief that he wasn't targeted by Cursed Speech.
"Mustard Leaf?" Inumaki questioned as he approached the group.
"Yes Inumaki, you just made an innocent man shit himself for no reason." Maki chuckled out behind everyone causing them all to turn around and look at her in surprise due to them not sensing her approach.
"Also Megumi, you might wanna let up on the endless hoard of winged toads. I think Nobara is regressing into the Doom Slayer or something." She commented, pointing to the side with her thumb as she did so.
They all turned to look at where the orange haired girl was, only to find her standing atop a mound of fallen Shikigami and covered with black blood.
She held in one hand the body of a smaller Winged Toad that she was crushing into shadow paste with her bare hand and on the other she held a Nail Gun that was enhanced with her technique while she was shooting other merged beasts with it.
[Image (In Discord)]
"Oh that, I mostly did it out of annoyance and 'cuz it seemed funny."
"Don't your Shikigami die permanently?"
"Not if they're Merged together, I can make as many of them as I want."
Just as Nobara finished slaughtering another dozen winged toads, they all collectively faded away into nothingness, causing her to fall on her ass right afterwards.
"This won't do, I can't let Takada-chan see that I shit myself!" Todo shouted out, causing everyone to turn and look at him again.
CLAP!
"... Fish Flakes?" Inumaki squeaked out, he felt something wet appear in his pants.
"Oof, that's rough buddy…" Panda commented, patting the shorter boy on the shoulder while closing his nose to block out the smell.
"NOT THE UNO REVERSE, HAHAHA!" Maki shouted out, being barely able to breathe from how hard she was laughing at her classmate's misfortune.
"Welp, that's unfortunate for you Inumaki. But you should really read the room next time before forcing a man to shit himself. Anywho, Brodo, follow me. Let's get you to Shoko and get you healed up in time to reach Takada-chan." Megumi said as Maki laughed her ass off in the background.
"Y-You're actually calling him by that name?" Maki questioned in between bouts of laughter.
"Well what can I say? It's grown on me."
"Alright Fushigobro. Lead the way!"
…
5 Minutes later.
Shoko's Office.
"Yo Shoko you here?" Megumi called out as he entered the office with Todo by his side.
"Where else would I be?" She replied from the back of the room.
Shoko was currently stitching together the side of a man who had it cut open in an encounter with a cursed spirit gone wrong, her face held tiredness as her eye bags were evident at a first glance.
"Just here to show you something cool." He replied, making his way towards her.
"Hm? What is it, 'Gumi? Need heals?" She asked, somewhat confused.
Megumi's crimson eyes seemed to shine brighter as a glob of shadow shot out of him, before forming into a Clone of himself. This clone went on to gain rings in its eyes and walked forwards, reaching Shoko's patient and holding his wound.
Positive energy flowed from the Clone's hand and flowed into the patient's body as before their very eyes, the wound was closed together within a second, the positive energy went on throughout the patient's body and healed them completely.
"I-I feel perfectly fine, It's like I was never hurt at all!" The patient cried out in celebration.
"Uh, thanks I guess 'Gumi? I was just about to do that anyways, what was the point?" Shoko asked, grateful that he lessened her work required but confused as to why he did so.
"I'm getting to that, give me a sec. Brodo, do you trust me?" Megumi asked, reaching into his Haori and pulled out Kage.
"Yes Fushigobro, I trust you with my life!" Todo declared as he raised his left arm into a thumbs up.
"Good, hold your breath."
"Eh? YOUCH!"
Todo grunted in pain as Kage's razor sharp edge sliced off his arm in a single swing, causing the other two in the room to gasp in shock. Megumi and his clone didn't blink as the latter walked towards Todo and held his injured arm with his own.
Their shock didn't stop there as the clone channelled his own Reversed Cursed Technique, the Positive Energy overflowed from his arm and into Todo's body. Then before their very eyes, the stump on Todo's arm began to morph and grow.
At first it was the Bones as Todo's hand regrew its Skeleton in a mere 5 seconds Then over the next 15 seconds it was tissues, muscles, nerves and tendons. And finally skin grew back over the hand, over the next 10 seconds.
Sounds of shock echoed throughout the room as they had just watched a man lose his hand and regrow it in the span of less than 40 seconds.
"Well damn, that is cool. I can't do that yet." Shoko admitted, completely taken aback at his use of Reversed Cursed Technique, through a clone no less.
"Mhm, it is but that's not all. Todo can you take the guy with you and leave, got somethin' to talk to her about." Megumi requested dismissively as his clone finished healing Todo completely.
"Definitely my friend! Thanks for the healing, come on guy, I can't make Takada-chan wait for me!"
"T-The Idol?"
"OH, YOU KNOW TAKADA-CHAN?"
The voices of the two men were muffled by the door closing, leaving only Shoko and Megumi standing opposite to each other in the middle of the room.
"So what's this about 'Gumi?" She asked as she ran a hand through her hair and pushed it back off of her face. Although she looked as if she hadn't slept in weeks, her beauty was even further enhanced by her eye bags and tired demeanour.
"As you've just seen, I can make a clone that's capable of healing a lot of things, even lost limbs. I'm saying this because I know how tired you've been from work recently, there's too much for you to do and not enough time for you to be.. You. To relax and have a break every now and then." Megumi explained.
"Go take a vacation, atleast for a month or two. You deserve some time for yourself, time to get more than 2 hours of sleep every night! I've got everything set up and ready for you, there's a car waiting for you outside. They'll take you to the airport, an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii." He revealed with an honest smile.
"I-I.. I dunno what to say…" Shoko admitted, seeming somewhat overwhelmed with all the information.
"You don't have to say anything, I did this for you. You've helped me so many times when I was at my lowest, it's only fair I do the same, no?"
The two of them stood there for a moment as he allowed it all to sink in, a few seconds later Megumi had to stabilise himself to not fall over as Shoko rushed forwards and hugged him tightly. They stood there in silence as the shorter woman pulled him down with her grasp, he just stayed there and let her take her time.
"...I dunno if I said this before, so I'll just say it now. No matter happens in your life, I want you to know this 'Gumi; I am so fuckin' proud of the man you've become. Despite everything that's happened, I know that if it's you? You'll be able to fix everything in this broken ass world, I'm sure it won't be too long before Tsumiki is up to see this too."
"Heh, come on now Shoko. You're gonna make me tear up if you keep up with all this sappy talk!"
"Haha, maybe then you would get over that workaholic mindset. What was being a Special Grade too little work? You needed to steal my work too?" Shoko asked as she backed off and wiped away a tear that was building up in her eye.
"Shush, take this and go. Don't keep the man waiting for you, he left his daughter's piano recital to do this for me. Although I told him that I could just ask someone else, he refused to listen. Something about 'Repaying a Debt'." Megumi said, reaching his hand into his shadow before pulling out two 12 packs of Heineken.
"FUCK YEAH! You know exactly how to make my day, don't you 'Gumi!" She shouted out before snatching both packs and opening one.
Megumi watched in amusement as she proceeded to down an entire bottle of Heineken Beer in less than ten seconds, before grabbing another and downing it as well.
He was about to ask her to take her time, pack and then go down to be driven to the airport, however he paused as he felt the familiar shift in space from Satoru's limitless and knew he was about to teleport into the room.
"Shoko- Oh? Megumi, what're you doing here? Wait, is Shoko drinking again?" Satoru asked right after teleporting in, he watched as Shoko grabbed another bottle and down it in 6 seconds flat.
"Evidently." Megumi said as reached into his Haori quietly while Satoru made his way towards them.
"Man, I haven't seen Drunk Shoko in a while! Y'know, one time when we were in our second year and we were on a vacation in Hokkaido on Christmas, she got so Drunk she killed Santa!" Gojo revealed with a giant grin, he was reminiscing about that day in the cabin with all his friends.
Gojo wasn't able to reminisce for too long as he was forced to dodge to the side in order to avoid being stabbed by Megumi's Inverted Spear of Heaven, he didn't do so fast enough as his cheek was cut in the process of doing so.
"OW! What the hell Megumi, why'd you do that?!" Gojo asked as he healed his cheek with his Reversed Cursed Technique.
"Oh~... Don't think I forgot what you did after our fight, knocking me out was one thing since I lost that Domain Clash. But that Drawing? Is Another thing!" Megumi growled out as he pointed the Special Grade Cursed Weapon at him.
"Y'know, on second thought. Perhaps giving you that weapon wasn't the best idea I've had..."
"I concur."
Satoru shot out of the room running to escape his enraged little brother's assault, the black haired man sprinted after him with the Inverted Spear of Heaven at one hand and another holding his phone which he used to call someone.
"Maki, get your ass over here quick! We have a White Haired Bastard to gut open like a fish!"
Shoko stood alone in her office, in her hands were the two final bottles of Heineken remaining as she had completed both 12 packs of beer in the span of 2 minutes.
In her now drunken stupor, she brought one hand up above her head and the other ahead of her before proclaiming to the world once again for the first time in too long.
"Throughout The Buffalo Wild Wings and The Heineken, I alone am the Honoured Drunk!"
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Author's Note:
Yes, the RG33 skits are canon to my fic.
No, I do not regret it.
Also What are ya Waiting for? Don't you want an Extra Chapter? SEND ME STONES!
600 POWER STONES = EARLY CHAPTER.
…
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Next Chapter Title: Hydrogen Bomb Vs Coughing Baby.
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