The adventuring party assembles

A new day arrived, and with it my energy for a new day in this chaotic city.

'Good morning Kenshin, what are we going to do today?' asked Guizhong.

I guess she doesn't need to sleep, it must be nice having all that time to focus on her little gadgets.

'Don't call them gadgets!. They are ingenious inventions' she complained, again.

'I don't know, I want to wait for the alchemist to arrive so we have a few days. Maybe walk around for a while, or I will use this time to register in the Guild. It may be good to have that as a backup plan in case someday I need money'.

'You?. Kenshin, you can't even beat a boar' I could feel her mockery hitting my heart.

While I'm the Master Sealer, it's true that a boar is outside my abilities. They are too fast and too fierce for my relatively frail body.

I can see their souls, but sealing the souls of something alive is a bit...you know. I don't know what will happen, but I'm effectively disconnecting a soul from their rightful place, it feels extremely wrong to do that.

And I'm afraid that if I start doing that, I would turn into the same person Yae and the Boss feared I could be, and I would prefer to die than fail their expectations of me.

'So working as an adventurer is a no-go for me as I can't fight, but I heard there are some other commissions I can take' I explained to Guizhong while leaving the inn and walking towards the Adventurer Guild.

'You complained about having to clean your room in the Shrine, and now you are saying that you want to be an errand boy' Guizhong scoffed.

'It's not about working, it's about having a back up plan. Maybe I can scam some people into letting me join a party'

'You are scum'.

'But smart scum'

"How can I help you?" asked me the receptionist.

"Telling me what you are" I replied. I couldn't see a soul in her, it's my first time seeing this.

"How can I help you?" she repeated with the same smile, the only change was a small twitch in the corner of her eyes.

"I want a cabbage, a bath full of hot ice, a Blessing of the Welking Moon, a book on necromancy, a...." if she is going to be a bitch, I will be one too. The best bitch around.

"How can the Adventurer's Guild help you?" now her smile was obviously strained.

"I want to hire someone who can give me a cabbage, a bath full of...."

"No problem, I know exactly the person you are looking for" she nodded full of smiles. "I will call him over".

"Oh" I honestly didn't expect that. The Guild must be incredibly resourceful to have someone capable of all that.

'Why were you so mean?. She was only trying to help' Guizhong scolded me.

'She started it, and I don't think she is human. She is something I've never seen before, or she is too strong for me to see through. Considering I could see Morax' soul, it don't think that's the case'

'And you think it's a good idea to make fun of someone like that?'

'Please Guizhong, you have no brain but you had one in the past, even if now it's nothing more than dirt. Do you think someone that powerful would be in charge of receiving request in this city and still be sane?. I'm probably the tamest person around'.

"Here he is, his name is Bennet" said the woman? with a smiling expression. "If you want cabbages, he is your man".

"Hello, I'm Bennet" the said the boy looked to be around 8 years, scratching his nose with his finger bashfully.

"But wait, I wanted to reg-" I can't believe I am going to be hunting for cabbages with a kid, one even smaller than me.

"Then you should have said so. I'm sure you will have a lot of fun" I could see malice in her eyes.

I couldn't say anything, and went outside the city with Bennet guiding me.

"I was told by Katherine that you wanted a cabbage, ice, a blessing and a book right?" he asked me with an excited look.

I can't believe how he was butchering my request, but I couldn't say no to those eyes sparkling with happiness. Well, it will be the good deed of this life.

"Yes, I am. Can you help me with that?" I answered with a smile, one that hid the pain I was feeling.

Do I really need to spend money in these stupid things?.

"Okay, I will do my best!" the boy called Bennet shouted in excitement raising his arm, making a weird pose. "But do you know how to fight?"

"Not at all, I'm weaker than a hilichurl" I confessed. "But if it's a cabbage and ice, why would we need to-"

"Then wait here, I will go to recruit somebody very strong!!" he shouted with a wide smile.

"No, again why do we need to figh-"

"Don't worry, we will split the money of the commission" and he left in a burst of speed.

"I don't understand what is happening here" I admitted.

'That's how people feel about you' Guizhong had to mock me, as always.

'I will give you a dick bigger than the Boss'' I threatened her.

'Mercy!'.

After 5 minutes of our back and forth banter, Bennet came with a blonde girl who was covering her eye with an eyepatch, a bird perched on her head.

"She is Amy, a new girl in the Guild. She is very strong and has a purple bird that can shoot lighting" bennet introduced the small girl excitedly.

"My name is Fischl, not Amy!" the girl corrected the innocent and naive boy who was ready to get involved with such an eccentric character.

Kenshin could already feel the pain he was for sure going to feel after a few hours with this combo. This girl screamed of 'chuuni', a term that was getting increasing popular in the novels from Inazuma.

"What my fräulein is trying to say is that-"

"I can already know what your fräulein is going to say" I was not ready to do this for an untold amount of hours we would loose looking for hot ice. "I need to talk with the Grandmaster in a few hours, so let's get going". If I could use the promise that bear with human clothes gave me now, I was going to use it for sure.

"Oh, you know the old man?" asked Bennet.

"Probably, now let's depart, I want to be back this week" I said with a tired voice. I won't mock that receptionist again.

"As thy words demands, our assignment shall be concluded with paramount swiftness" the girl put a hand on her eyepatch and the other pointed at the sky.

"Nice, why don't we start with the easy one then?. A cabbage should be easy to find, I even saw one before in that st-"

"Let's go!" Bennett grabbed my hand and quickly pulled me out of the city, while I saw a cabbage being given for almost no money in the groceries shop.

"Oh, the radiant lightning lord stretches time itself in order to fulfil the promised oath!" what the hell is this girl saying, honestly I pity her parents.

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We quickly found out a camp of hilichurls, who were dancing around a carrot. I gave up understanding them a long time ago, my interest in them was only about the curse, I didn't care about them personally. Of course, I care about the person they once were, but as of now I would be attacked on sight, and knowing how weak I am my only choice is to run.

And I don't like running.

Anyway, the buy used a normal sword, but used his Vision to make it burn in flames, and hit every single hilichurl, setting them on fire.

I winced, I couldn't understand them, but their souls were screaming in pain. It was quite uncomfortable.

The girl's bird, that she introduced as the 'Herald Of Darkness That Will Extinguish The Light Of The Cosmos', alias Oz, flew to the sky and made a lightning storm annihilate the hilichurl previously set in flames by Bennet's sword. Why fire and lightning provoked an explosion is beyond me.

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What the hell!. Aren't they too overpowered?!.

It almost seems as the crazier you are, the most powerful your Vision gets.

I didn't knew anybody who had a Vision except for Sara and Hu Tao, but these kids are too strong.

They could even beat my 'Heaven Punisher Beetle'.

"Now, let's see if we can find a cabbage here" said Bennet, approaching me to see if I was hurt.

No hilichurl was even able to see me from all the explosions going around, so if I was hurt it would be from the artillery fire this bird rained on everything in the area.

"If there isn't a cabbage here what are we going to do?" I am dreading the answer.

"Of course, we beat another camp!" Bennet shouted excitedly. This guy is a menace. "Anyway, let's see our reward!".

"No, Bennet!. Wait!" Amy forgot her persona and shouted at Bennet.

"Ow man, no cabbage here" said a disappointed Bennet. "I usually find a lot...."

I looked curiously at the chest, only to find it empty.

Except for a single shiny red jewel the size of my hand, casting a mesmerizing light upon receiving the sun's light.

"Hmm, Bennet, aren't you going to pick this?" I asked in confusion. There is no way this shiny thing was worthless.

"Nah, it's not worth it. Nobody here will buy it" said Bennet, dismissing my question.

"Are you sure?. It looks valuable" I insisted. Again, it's too shiny, I am sure a fool would think of it as a true gem.

'You are the fool here, I can assure you that's a Eye of Blood, an extremely rare gem only found after centuries of blood crystallizing under an enormous source of energy' Guizhong was almost shouting in excitement.

"Nah, nobody cares about it" Bennet repeated himself. "If it's not food or Mora, nobody cares".

"Oh I see....wait what?"

I was once again reminded of the fact that Mondstadt was extremely eccentric. Well, if Bennet doesn't want it, I will take it.

Of course, I will send him half of the money I get from selling this beauty. Let the girl share his money, I'm not giving him more than half.

But still...this thing is blood right?. Well, money is money.

I picked the 'gem' and stowed it in my bag.

"Come on, let's search for other camp!" it's good to see that Bennet is not disappointed by our failure in acquiring the rare treasure a cabbage is.

Well, I only have to watch the fireworks these 2 are making.

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"Sorry, even after all this we couldn't find a cabbage" said a depressed Bennet, but I was too busy to care about him right now.

I was holding a transparent mechanism that looked too complex for me to understand. It had a lot of glyphs and magical sigils engraved in it's surface, and it was even making weird noises. How a piece of glass was doing noises by itself was something I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

'Guizhong, what the hell is this?'

'I...don't know'

'Isn't this your area of expertise?. If you can't even do what you are supposed to be the best in then you are a waste of a god'

'Hey!. Don't be an asshole!' her language was getting worse and worse by every interaction we had during the years. I can't wait to see how the Boss reacts.

'Then can you tell me what is this?'

'....'.

'As I said, a total and absolute waste. Still, I like it. I am incredibly offended, but I will take it'.

"Don't worry Bennet. I'm sure the next time we will find one" I said, feeling excited myself.

Every single chest Bennet opened was a mystery box, but you could only find valuable things. A ruby, a diamond, a crystallized piece of blood, this weird thing....I might even want to hire him in Inazuma, with his luck he may even be able to convince the Shogun.

"That's the thing, there are no more camps nearby" said Bennet while looking at me nervously, maybe afraid of my reaction.

Seriously, why would I be angry?. I made more money here today than Ningguang made in all her years in Liyue.

"Don't worry, I'm not angry, why don't we go for the ice?" I expected that to be easier. Just find a guy or girl with a Cryo Vision and ask him or her to do it.

"Okay!" he was happy again. "I know where can we find one!".

"Wait, how can you find 'one' ice?".

"Follow me!"

Again, why is he asking to follow him when he is pulling me?.

"Ohohoho, my brain is now illuminated with the radiance of knowledge thanks to the wave your words created in the sea of consciousness residing in the cos-"

"Amy, shut up or I will tell your parents how you behave outside your house"

"I'm Fischl!. But please don't do that" she meekly said.

"Then shut up"

After half an hour of running we finally arrived into a cave. In the middle was an inconspicuous blue and white thing, but I knew better. This was not 'ice.

"Hey Bennet-"

"Let's go Fischl!. As we always do"

"Yes, my knight bathed in fl- *ehem*. Yes Bennet".

They quickly left me in the entrance, shivering from the cold that thing was exuding.

That 'thing' sensed someone getting closer, and stood up, revealing it's nature. A freaking huge Wopperflower with ice powers. What the hell are they watering the plants here with?.

In Inazuma we only have a fire cube that loses his will to live by spilling some water on it. And that murderous puppet that is still around for no reason.

There was a legend that said that the one who defeated it would be able to confess their love for the Shogun and not get vaporized instantly. Really, what a load of crap.

There is no way that ice statue won't incinerate you.

And yet, a new rule had to be made. No one would get near that murderous thing, as the number of men in Inazuma was getting dangerously low.

Yae told me that it was the most dangerous moment of the history of Inazuma since it's creation, not even the big war from 500 years ago came even close. The male population was reduced to 50, while the female one was around 6000. They needed to make some sacrifices, I'm sure.

Be proud, men of Inazuma who had to form those disgusting 'harems' the literature of today is all about!. Thanks to your sacrifice, Inazuma is the same corrupt nation governed by an inexpressive tyrant with the power of turning us all into popcorn!.

'I think you are spitting upwards Kenshin. What you just said is going to bite you in the ass' Guizhong said something incomprehensible with a resigned voice.

What does she know?. She doesn't even know what this beautiful and weird thing is, how could she understand the greatness of the 'no-harem' tag?.

'You are really going to regret saying that. I will mock you daily for the rest of your short life'.

ANYWAY, the 2 heroes quickly made a quick work of the Wopperflower, using Bennet's flaming sword to make it fall. They were about to gang up on it when the ground trembled, and gaps started appearing.

"Fischl, retreat, it has mutated again!" shouted Bennet.

Wait, what do you mean again?.

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Just a question I'm interested in. What name do you thing would the most 'clickbaiting' one?.

It's just to know other people's opinion, I'm not writing that.

I think mine would be 'Reborn as Gojo Satoru in DXD with the Strongest Lust System!'. ( and picture of Rias covering her naked breasts with her arm while pouting).

I feel like puking just by writing it.