A Sincere Talk

First the king stopped laughing, then Kael.

"You are... very brave. Braver than the men I would call my knights. How old are you?"

Kael kept his smile on his face.

He hadn't really thought he would have such a conversation with the king. He never thought he would be... like this. Still, no matter what, in a strange way, he was enjoying it now.

"Fifteen, Your Majesty. I will be sixteen in three months."

He paused, then added.

"Or rather, I was going to."

The king made no comment.

"I see. Well then, Kael... do you know why we are in this situation?"

"It's because of the Empire, isn't it?"

The smile on the king's face widened. His eyes shifted to the bodies of the creature and the robed man not far from him.

"It is, but not quite. The Empire has never tried to attack us before, despite our position. Do you know why?"

"No, Your Majesty."

"Because the emperor was born in this kingdom."

Kael was surprised by this information, but did not react much. The king noticed it too, of course.

"That's why he always left this place for last. When there was no kingdom left on the continent that he hadn't conquered or subdued... then he stepped here."

'Oh...'

This... was not far from his earlier predictions.

But were there no other kingdoms left on the continent? Or maybe there were, but they had submitted to the Empire... Now, this was not what he had expected.

"And yet, he didn't wage a direct war. Instead, he sent one of his men to make it all end quickly."

Kael looked at the body of the robed man.

"But... you killed him."

"I did... but what difference does it make? I'm on my deathbed, the palace is in shambles, the knights are almost all dead, my sons and daughters are all... dead."

He stuttered at the last sentence. The fact that he had lost his children, that he had not been able to save them, still pained him.

"The Empire won, Kael. As it always has. And I... I couldn't do anything. But... you know what I hate even more?"

Kael's eyebrows shot up. He was really curious what the king would say.

"My brother."

Kael felt as if time had frozen, his eyes suddenly widened. The last words he expected to hear were the words he heard coming out of the king's mouth.

"Because that bastard, that dog who would be my brother... He signed a treaty with the Empire. He sold everything, his own brother and his kingdom, to become the ruler of the kingdom's lands after my death. And... he is probably proud of it."

The king paused after the last word.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I got carried away, I lost my temper."

It was as if he had made a mistake. He was apologizing to a slave, even though he was a king.

But... Kael didn't care about any of that. He just took a deep breath, a really deep breath... So deep that even the king noticed.

"Your Majesty... I... had a mother."

The king said nothing. Just as he let himself get carried away, he let the little boy in front of him do the same.

"She was born to a slave in your brother's manor. She was a beautiful woman, so she was always put to night work. At some point in her life... she became pregnant with me."

Kael waited a short time to collect his thoughts and body. With each word that came out of his mouth, he seemed to be getting worse.

"Being the child of a slave, I never received much love in my life. From the day I was old enough to understand things, I was made to work. In the fields, in some building construction, in the sewers, in the stables... everywhere. But my mother... at least she tried to show me love. After exhausting days, she would hold me in her arms and sing me the only lullaby she knew. She loved the sky and tried to make me love it too."

His eyes seemed to fill up for a moment, but he didn't stop, he continued.

"One day... I was punished so much, I was beaten so badly that I wished I was dead. I was kept separated from my mother for days, left without food and water... I think... I was only allowed to see my mother again after two weeks. And when I met her again, the first thing she said was... apologize. For not being able to take my place."

The king was silent. It wasn't that he didn't feel sorry for Kael, he felt sorry for most of the slaves... That's why most of the slaves working in his palace were relatively well off compared to the others. Still, this was not the first story he had heard. It wasn't as if there weren't people who hadn't experienced what Kael had, he was just a victim like everyone else.

But he listened, without comment. Because... he felt he had to listen.

"I asked her why we were alive that day. Why were we trying so hard? Why couldn't we just... die and get away? There was no point in living, for me."

His lips curled up slightly.

"My mother couldn't give me an answer. She couldn't say anything. Because... she didn't know the answer either. And yet, she didn't get angry with me. She just... held me like she always did and sang me the lullaby she knew. Maybe she couldn't give me an answer, yes... But even that lullaby was enough for me. I felt her warmth like I had never felt before, because that day was the first time I realized so clearly that I had a mother unlike the others. How many slaves had a mother like mine who could sing them a lullaby and hold them in her arms?"

When he realized that tears were streaming from his eyes, he tried to use his arm to wipe them away. But then he realized that his arm was hurting too much and let it go.

"On the night of the same day, she made me promise, 'Whatever happens, at least live for me.' That's what she told me. She said that everything I did, everything she did... was just so that I could live."

He gave a short laugh, and forced himself to continue.

"I thought it was nonsense. But... I couldn't say no. I promised her what she wanted. A month later... I couldn't find her where she was supposed to be. I looked everywhere, but she was nowhere. And then... I found out that your brother had gotten angry with someone for no reason and had called my mother to his room. No one had seen her since then."

Silence filled the room for a moment. The King opened his mouth to say something, but Kael continued before him.

"I kept living only because of the promise I made to her, a promise I thought was nonsense, perhaps... But it was all I had left of her. Still, it wasn't enough, I... I couldn't. So I set myself a goal, an impossible one in particular. Impossible so that I would die trying to fulfill it, so that I could get away with it, just... use it as an 'excuse' to live. Do you know what that goal was?"

The king did not answer. And Kael... even though he knew that what he said next would normally get him killed, he didn't stop. He was going to die anyway, why bother such things?

"Your brother. I... I made it my goal to kill him, and for that reason, I kept working under him for years, learning botany in particular, one of the things no one else studied, trying to show my talent so that I could rise, even among the slaves. And I actually succeeded. I managed to get into the palace, after all. So... do you know what I thought when you just told me that it was your brother you hated?"

He took a deep breath.

"I... I felt happy. I thought... even the king hates his brother, huh... It sounded strange, but... I felt happy. Because if you had lived a little longer, maybe you would have been the one who killed him. I... I had imagined such a future. Just imagining it made me feel elated."

His expression fell and fell, his lips straightened.

"But... it remained a dream, as always. We'll both die here, and that man... he'll live. He'll probably live a life of money. He'll go on tormenting, killing people just because he's angry."

Once again, a deep silence fell over the room.

"I... apologize, Your Majesty. I spoke too long."

The king opened his mouth when he realized that Kael had finally given him a chance to speak. But then all that came out was wheezing. Again he leaned to his right side and coughed up blood. But this time not only that, he also vomited a handful of blood.

It was at this moment that Kael realized that his eyes were beginning to darken slightly. Death was approaching, just as it had approached the king.

Silence waited. Absolute, deep silence in which they would both die.

But... the king's full voice echoed in the room again. This time, it was much more shaky, and it was clear that he was forcing himself to speak.

"Kael..."

Kael listened to the king again. He didn't expect much, but he would listen anyway. But then... he heard the king stand up and his darkening eyes widened.

He turned his eyes to the king. He saw that he was indeed trying to stand up. He was struggling because he had lost one leg, it looked like he wasn't going to make it... But he didn't give up.

Or he did.

The king quickly stopped trying to get up. Kael found it strange to see him so weak. To see a king like that, even though he seemed to be dying... was certainly not what he had expected.

But then what he saw next... literally left him speechless.

He saw the king crawling. He saw him crawling towards him, using his hands, his nails. He was approaching him. And that's when he spoke again.

"The reason you want to die... is that you don't find life worthwhile, that you have no 'real' purpose in life... right?"

Kael could neither answer him nor nod. He was literally frozen.

"Then... as long as you have a purpose, you have a reason to live, don't you?"

The king continued to crawl, until he finally came to a stop. When he reached his destination, he forced himself up.

Kael could see him gritting his teeth. He wanted to ask why he was doing this... but he kept silent. He watched as the king forced himself into a sitting position, cross-legged. Then... he found his fading blue eyes on him again.

"Kael... be honest. Do you want to live?"