The Seagull Man

Now, Lord Gograph's face was paler than the sheet of parchment he wrote his answers on. Cordelia picked up his essay from the pile of rejects on her table and cleared her throat, before reading out his essay in a sonorous voice. The gravity in her tone almost made the ridiculousness of his ideas reasonable.

Keyword: almost. 

Daphne winced, the secondhand embarrassment was almost threatening to swallow her whole. What on earth was Lord Gograph thinking, turning in such a nonsensical essay? 

"I will position a seagull at each side of the island so that they might warn us of the approach of foreign invaders…" Cordelia spoke, and the men tittered among themselves, as though they were gossipy ladies at a ball. "They will be fed with one fish a day and will be leashed for the rest of the time…"