Chapter 12: Phrase 1: ... Emotions and Fears

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"I have thousand reason to die and many billions reasons to cry, but am still standing and I don't know why....

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The ride home was a really quiet one, My hands kept on fiddling, and my poor head was banging me over and over again, God, I really feel like I was actually dying or something....

I couldn't stop digesting everything that I just heard like a few minutes ago, as my heart kept on arching, Everything was just so frustrating, and oh, to top it all, the silence in the car was killing me completely...

Well, it's not like I had wanted to say something to him or what, but still everything was just so strange...

He wants revenge just like me, or was it that it was all a tricky act to come close to me, I thought carefully, as I stole a sneak peak of Charlie's blank expression, as his eyes were glued on the already dark roads...

I really doubt his lying, Another thought came flooding in, as I fiddled with my hands frustratedly once again....

I really don't know what to do, I thought pressing my lips together frustratedly, as a deep voice slowly pierced into my ears...

"You're home" His warm voice, jolted me out of my thoughts, as I slowly stared blankly at his eyes one last time, as a little wave of pain flush through me....

This is not a trick, he's sincere, My mind spoke out, as all my doubts quickly faded away, as I kept on staring at him, with absolutely nothing on my head....

"Ivy?" He waves his hands across my face, as I quickly brought myself out of my thoughts, before quickly hopping down from the car, as he quickly copied everything I just did...

"Come closer to me" His warm voice called out, as I arched my eyebrows confusedly.....

"What?" I questioned, fixing my gaze at his light eyes once again, still so unsure if the stress was the one actually making me hear things, or if I had already just lost it. Either way, this was just so awkward, and I really feel so suffocated and angry again....

"Am not coming" I blurted out, almost too quickly, as I shifted my gaze away from him, quickly turning around to scram, but was sadly held on the arm by him, Damnit!....

"Charlie just let go of me, before I punch you on the face" I stared angrily at his eyes, as a weak smile slowly creeped up on his face, making me arch my eyebrows once again...

"What are you saying" He asks, forming an innocent face, as I could feel the closeness between us, as I kept on trying to pull myself anyway, without listening....

"Stop trying to run, I only wanted to have your contact, incase there's any new information" He replied, staring at me jovially as my face flushes red in embarrassment and anger....

"Why didn't you just say so" I replied with my already red cheeks, as I reluctantly handed him a little piece of paper, containing my number, before quickly running away, without looking back, but still I knew that fool kept on smiling sheepishly....

Damnit!, I mumbled under my breath, as I faded away into my little apartment, with so much thought still spinning on my head....

Gosh, my poor head could literally blow off any minute from now, I mumbled to myself, as I quietly sneaked up the stairs, cause it was so obvious that aunt must have already slept her life off by now...

She's busy sleeping peacefully, while my head is arching me up here, I mumbled, pressing my lips frustratedly, as I gently shut her door quietly, in order for her not to wake up,...

Cause if that ever happens, I was surely to have a earful about "Where on earth have you been all this darn hours" I thought, still pressing my lips together, before slowly sliding my weary self on my bed, before everything suddenly went black....

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I lazily opened my dull green eyes, as the morning sun shone bright from my window, into the room...

Arghhh, I hate bright days, I thought, squeezing my lips frustratedly, as I tried searching for my phone, to check what exactly the darn time was anyway...

I searched around the bed, but it was actually nowhere to be found....

Gosh, where could it have run to now, I mumbled frustratedly, as I scattered the bedsheets everywhere, before it finally fell off and landed on the tiled blue floor...

"There you are" I scoffed irritatedly, as I quickly picked it up, as my eyes quickly wandered through the screen, only to see that I had already gotten a message for that dummy, Charlie....

Gosh, is it not really too early to message someone, I thought blankly to myself, as I kept on staring at the dumb name I saved his number with....

I really shouldn't have given him my number, he played a smart move, but what could I have done...

I thought sadly to myself, as I quickly adjusted my wavy hair at the back of my ears, before finally swiping up to finally read the text of that dummy, Charlie....

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𝑴𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆...

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕....

𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒚, 𝒊'𝒗𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒘𝒔...

...

The texts read, as I thought for a moment, whether this was actually some kind of trick date or something....

I thought for a brief moment, before finally getting my butt up to get ready...

I guess that I would just have to go, cause it might not just be actually what I was thinking, but if he tries to act funny and was actually lying, then I would gladly break his face for this....

I concluded, as a little sly grin, curve round my lips, before I finally made my way into the bathroom to get ready...

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"Aunt, am leaving" I yelled out, already heading for the door side, as I could feel her legs quickly stepping out of the kitchen, with a confuse look on her face....

"Where are you going?" She asked, as I racked my brains for answers, cause I just couldn't tell her where I was actually going to, and what I had plan on doing...

Cause she had already foolishly forbade me, not to seek revenge, even though I knew too well that was never going to be possible, cause I won't dare rest until I get what I want....

"Ivy?...." Her warm voice called out my name, as I quickly brought myself out of my thoughts....

"It's really not that important"I blurted out, staring at her blankly, cause that was all I sadly could think of, but her face clearly flash something else, that actually looked like worries, as I kept on staring at her blankly...

"Am worried about you" She finally confessed, as I arched one of my eyebrows blankly at her....

"Am fine" I manage to say, as I gave a little smile, but I could see that she wasn't obviously falling for that act this time around, Damn.....

"I wish I could believe you, but i can see that it's really not true" Her brown eyes pierced straight into mine, as I look away feeling so uncomfortable and tensed, cause I knew too well that she was going to try forcing out the truth from me at all cost....

"You are not fine Ivy" Her eyes pierced straight into mine, as I tried opening my mouth to say something, but she sharply cut me off...

"You lock yourself in your room almost every time, rarely eats, wear dark clothes, looking all stressed out, and you say you're fine, No, something's wrong, Definitely!"...

Her worried voice brought shivers down my spine, as I slowly try finding my voice back...

"I .....

"Tell me what's bothering you" Her eyes reflected a pleading look, as I stared sadly straight into hers, cause I knew that I just couldn't tell her I wanted revenge, even after all her warning...

No, I just can't, I thought, still staring into her eyes confusedly....

"Look.... This....this is not...the perfect time to talk about it" I stammered, before quickly looking away, as my legs hurriedly ran out of the door without stopping for a darn minute, with so much emotions raging inside me..

No I can't just be weak, I thought still folding my arms angrily, I just can't quit everything that I had stood for, Never....

Am sorry aunt, but I just can't step back now, I rubbed my head frustratedly as my legs kept on taking me away, without stopping for a single minute....

If not because of myself, then for my mother, I thought to myself, already getting pissed off again, as my eyes slowly became blurry with bitter damn tears.....

Damn, I had promise myself that I would never cry for the same thing ever again, I rubbed my forehead frustratedly, as I slowly wiped the tears away quickly....

I'll avenge my mother, and I wouldn't rest till you finally rest in peace mother...

This time no one would make my goal waver, No one... I pressed my lips together, with all the bitterness in my heart, as I finally made my way to Charlie's address.....