The Angel and an Unwanted Imposition

Their classmates often called Mahiru an angel. Based on how gentle and modest she

was, her kind personality, the fact that she was accomplished in both academics and

sports, plus her unparalleled beauty, angel did seem like the appropriate nickname for

her. It was no surprise then that she was very popular.

During her first year of high school, many boys in many classes had confessed their

love for her, and she said that turning them all down was not a point of pride for her,

but an annoyance. She did not appreciate strangers approaching her for dates.

So as popular as Mahiru was, after about half a year of stubbornly refusing every suitor,

she had finally dissuaded the student body. By the time she met Amane, though many

boys were undoubtedly still interested in her, the spate of romantic confessions had

more or less abated.

But that also meant they had not ceased entirely, as Amane came to realize.

"Please go out with me."

It happened after school, when Mahiru had stopped by the library to return a book

before heading home.

The library room wasn't in building one, where their classroom was, but in building

two, meaning she had to walk through a connecting corridor to get there.

Building two was basically full of classrooms, and it was deserted after school let out,

save for the occasional student heading for a club meeting. Accordingly, there was very

little pedestrian traffic, and it was quiet, so the boy's request was perfectly audible.

When Amane heard the voice coming from below him as he walked down the

connecting corridor on the second floor, he tried to step lightly. He wasn't one to stick

his nose in strangers' love affairs. Those were private matters, and he didn't have much

interest in other peoples' romances anyway. So not wanting to eavesdrop, Amane tried

to briskly move along without making any noise.

"I'm so sorry, but I have to turn you down."

However, after hearing a very familiar voice, his body immediately went rigid despite

his best intentions. It was a gentle, soft voice that was usually very pleasant. But it had

an unmistakable edge to it now.

Even though he knew he shouldn't, Amane crept to a nearby window and peeked over

the lip. There on the first floor were Mahiru and a male student who might have been

a classmate. Luckily, neither of them seemed to have noticed him.

The boy had his back to Amane, so his expression wasn't visible, but Mahiru was

looking at her suitor calmly.

The graceful face of the class's angel was contorted into a somewhat apologetic

expression, showing she had no intention of accepting his offer.

"Why—?"

"I don't know you. I'm very sorry, but I cannot return your feelings."

"We can get to know each other once we're going out—"

"I think that dating is something people should do after they've already built a

relationship of mutual trust and affection. I'm not interested in going out with someone

on a whim—a shallow relationship like that would only do a disservice to everyone

involved."

Mahiru had never appreciated shows of affection from boys, especially boys she didn't

really know. And considering her home environment, the thought of dating a stranger

probably made her very uncomfortable. So she was obviously not going to easily agree

to go out with anybody who bothered to ask her.

Mahiru's voice was gentle, but her refusal was firm. There was nothing more to discuss,

so she nodded once and turned to leave, but… the would-be suitor grabbed her hand.

Mahiru's lovely voice came out in a small cry of distress. She turned around, frowning

nervously. "Excuse me. This is not okay." It seemed like she found his grip on her hand

painful.

"Sorry, but I can't just give up."

"I am not going to go out with you. Now please, let me go."

Though she spoke more forcefully this time, and with an undeniably disapproving

expression, Mahiru nevertheless maintained her angelic composure to the very end.

Still, the boy pressed her once more as he continued tugging on her hand. Now Mahiru

looked frightened, afraid of what the boy might do next.

Amane decided he couldn't let this go on any longer. He frowned and leaned out the

half-open window. "I don't think she appreciates you being so forward," he grumbled,

loudly enough for the two of them to hear.

The boy spun around frantically, and Mahiru took advantage of the distraction to slip

out of his grasp and quickly put some distance between the two of them. She must

have recognized Amane's voice, because she looked relieved at the sudden intrusion.

Though she had mostly maintained an impassive expression, Amane could tell that

Mahiru was disgusted and frightened by the boy's selfish actions.

This must really bother her…

Amane glared at her boorish suitor with a mixture of anger and disgust.

Understandably, the other boy's expression stiffened, which Amane took as a sign of a

guilty conscience.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but… I just happened to be passing through and

saw you two were having some kind of trouble; that's all. Plus, it sounded like Shiina

was in pain." Amane gestured to Mahiru, who was rubbing her hand where the boy

had grabbed her.

"A-are you really hurt?" the boy asked, looking even more unwell.

"…You were awfully rough when you grabbed me. And anyway, it's wrong to touch a

girl without her permission." Mahiru had regained her composure. Rather than just

angry, her voice was icy cold.

"So she says." Amane nodded. "You should watch it."

The male student bit his lip hard. "Sorry" was all he said before hurrying away.

Relieved that the other boy had finally run off, Amane turned toward Mahiru. She

smiled at him faintly, still defensively clutching her hand to her chest. Seeing that made

his heart ache, and he almost wanted to reach out to her. But they were still in school,

so Amane couldn't carelessly make contact.

Mahiru must have understood that. She bowed sharply and turned to walk away.

Somehow, she looked even more delicate than usual, but all Amane could do was

anxiously watch her go.

"Thanks for earlier."

That was the first thing Mahiru said to Amane once they'd gotten home. She was

wearing a troubled smile.

Mahiru must have been thinking about the incident, too. She sat down on the sofa next

to Amane, looking a little tired, and leaned back on the cushions. Normally, Mahiru sat

up very straight and proper. She must have been feeling a bit worn out.

"Honestly, I was wondering whether I might have overstepped," Amane confessed.

"No, you saved me. He wouldn't let go, even when I asked him to. Everyone knows I've

never accepted a love confession, and most guys seem to understand when I turn them

down, so they give up very quickly—but he was different."

Amane didn't know how many dozens of boys had told her they loved her, but it

sounded like a considerable number. Nonetheless, Mahiru had never accepted a

proposal. It occurred to Amane that if she ever did start dating someone, their time

together would definitely come to an end.

"…You really are popular, huh?"

"Well, I suppose I am. Though it's not something that makes me happy." Typical of

Mahiru to openly acknowledge it as fact and then clearly express her true feelings on

the matter. "I appreciate that they feel affection toward me, but the sheer number of

times this has happened is alarming…"

Mahiru muttered something else in a somewhat apologetic tone about not knowing

how to manage all those expectations, and Amane realized she must have to deal with

this kind of thing a lot.

Amane didn't interact much with Mahiru in school. Whenever he thought about her,

he inevitably looked at her, so he was deliberately trying to limit those incidents

whenever possible. That was partly why he had no idea how often she had to field

these romantic appeals.

"And I'm sure you always graciously and candidly decline, eh?"

"Well, if someone comes to me to earnestly express their feelings, of course I'm going

to hear them out before I turn them away. It would be rude just to ignore them, after

all. Though I don't think all of them are equally serious about their feelings, you know?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Absolutely. There are some boys who confess their feelings knowing that I'll turn

them down, like it's all some kind of twisted game. Others just like the way I look and

want me for a trophy. I have no intention of entertaining something so superficial, of

course."

"I'm surprised there are guys who can muster up the will to confess with such flimsy

reasons."

He had serious doubts about the first group of guys, and when it came to the second

group, well, Amane had always believed that a relationship had to be a serious thing.

If someone was going to confess their love, they ought to really mean it, and he wasn't

even sure he considered such superficial feelings "love" at all.

"Well, I politely send those guys away, just like all the others. I can't accept any of their

proposals on a fundamental level. It's just not possible." Mahiru's voice had turned

cold again.

Amane recalled her reaction the first time she had come into his apartment—and he

had accidentally touched on a sensitive subject—and felt he couldn't say anything

further.

Mahiru was obviously not interested in pursuing frivolous relationships. Amane was

the same way, and he reflected once more on the fact that while his words back then

had been due to a misunderstanding, it was still very rude.

Looking over at Mahiru, he could see that her eyes weren't as cold as they had been

before, and even though he knew that her aggravated, scornful look wasn't meant for

him, he still shrank back a little.

"Anyway, it might be a naive question, but… do people think I'm such a simple person

that I would agree to go out with someone I barely know?"

"No, I don't think that's quite it…"

"Well then, why all the hopeless attempts? It's so strange that they think I might say

yes even though I don't know them. It's just scary being approached by strangers all

the time," Mahiru muttered, clearly troubled by getting so many confessions.

"…Do you think they lose control of themselves because they want you to notice them

or something?"

"So you're saying it's okay for them to grab me or get rough because they can't control

themselves?" Her mood seemed to be getting even worse.

Amane shook his head sharply to dispel any misunderstanding that Mahiru might be

having about what he said. "No, of course not. There's nothing wrong with having

feelings for someone, but it's not right to push them on anyone else or selfishly try to

force their hand. I'm definitely not trying to defend what that guy did. If anything, I'm

angry about it."

Mahiru was very beautiful, and Amane couldn't blame someone for wanting to win

her affection. After all, he had feelings for her himself. But he would never try to force

his feelings on Mahiru. The moment he used them to justify making her uncomfortable

would be the moment he'd gone too far.

This time, at least, Amane had happened to be there to step in. He shuddered to think

about someone grabbing her like that when he wasn't around. While he knew that

Mahiru would not hesitate to defend herself, physically if necessary, it was still an

unpleasant thought.

"…Is that so?" Mahiru asked.

"One hundred percent." Amane replied. "It was awful of him to try to force himself on

you like that… Weren't you scared?"

"I was a little scared, but if he had tried to hurt me at all, I was going to kick him right

in the crotch with all my strength."

Just as he suspected, Mahiru would not have hesitated to retaliate with force. If she

was being threatened, anyone would understand it if she defended herself.

"I think that would have taken care of it," Amane said. "Gotta admit, just thinking about

it makes me a little nervous."

"Not that I would do anything like that to you, Amane."

"Well, I hope I never give you any reason to."

His parents would disown him if he ever tried something like that. And it was against

his own principles to begin with. Forcing oneself on a girl would be a disgrace to all

men.

Amane thought he had made his position on the matter clear, but Mahiru was intently

watching him with a hint of exasperation.

"…Of course you wouldn't. Not Amane, the perfect gentleman."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're angry at me?"

"Oh, no, I'm just complimenting you."

"The look in your eyes doesn't seem very approving."

"Why, you must be imagining things."

Both her tone of voice and the look in her eyes were far from amicable. Rather, she

seemed dissatisfied. What she was saying and the way she was saying it didn't match,

and Amane couldn't figure out what she really meant. His eyes darted nervously around

the room as he squirmed under her gaze. Mahiru smiled slightly, as if to say that his

discomfort was unavoidable.

"Well, when it comes to respecting a girl's space, you're perfect, Amane, but you do

have one weakness, you know?"

"And what might that be…?"

"A weakness to me, am I right?"

Startled by her sudden impish smile, Amane averted his eyes, but Mahiru didn't seem

to notice his discomfort and leaned against him a little bit.

She didn't seem to notice his heart threatening to leap out of his chest, either.

"It might sound a bit presumptuous, but popularity really is its own problem, you

know?" Mahiru muttered in a hoarse voice. She sounded truly troubled. "I'm aware that,

physically at least, I'm more attractive than most people. So things like this happen a

lot, and I'm tired of it."

"…Sounds tough."

"It is. Oh, I'm sure there are some girls who might say it would be a wonderful problem

to have, but honestly, I wish I didn't have to deal with strangers constantly confessing

their love to me and then getting moody when I turn them down, or even worse,

latching on to me or flying into a rage. Even at the best of times, it gets exhausting

having to reject so many advances. And I feel guilty when I turn them down, too, you

know."

Mahiru had no mercy for anyone she decided was her enemy. At the same time, she

was fundamentally a virtuous and sensible girl and generally treated everyone she

met kindly.

"I don't think it's any joking matter to be in danger just by being myself," Mahiru

muttered. "It's not like I worked so hard to improve myself simply to be somebody's

accessory."

Mahiru sighed audibly. She sounded truly fed up and exhausted. Popularity certainly

came with its own set of hardships.

Amane reached out and gently stroked her hair. Mahiru let him do it, passively

accepting the reassuring gesture.

This completely different response to physical contact lay in the relationship of mutual

trust between Mahiru and him. As he patted her on the head, taking care not to entangle

his fingers in her fine hair, Mahiru closed her eyes, seemingly enjoying the moment.

She almost resembled a cat who was letting a trusted companion fawn over her.

"The persona I use at school is one that I chose, but it makes things difficult when

people want to get to know me. I won't let anyone touch me unless I want them to."

As a slightly—no, quite—displeased-looking Mahiru uttered those words, Amane's

hand hesitated. Right now she was letting him touch her, but he couldn't help but

wonder if he was somehow taking advantage of her being upset.

"Why did you stop?"

"Well, I, uh…," Amane stammered. "I suddenly feel a little self-conscious about all those

times I touched you before…"

"If I didn't like it, I would have stopped you the first time, so you can relax."

"G-gotcha."

"You can touch me even more… if you want."

She peered up at Amane and smiled gently, and in her eyes he could see trust and a

glimmer of anticipation.

Amane gulped. "Th-that's, um—" He didn't know how to reply.

"I'm just joking." Mahiru's expression returned to normal, and she giggled. Her gaze

dropped. "But please… keep holding my hand. What happened today was a little

unnerving."

Amane wasn't sure how to respond to her quiet words or to the heart-wrenching

distress he could sense welling up inside her, so he just bit his lip and took her hand.

Mahiru's fingers were elegant and dainty. As he traced his fingers over hers, he could

feel that they were soft but strong, with a slight callus where her pen usually rested.

They were not weak in the slightest.

But he also didn't think they were strong enough to fight off a high school boy. Amane

wasn't sure whether she hadn't been trying to shake him off or wasn't able to. Either

way, she had obviously been rattled by what happened.

Amane gently rubbed and massaged her hand, trying to help relax the fear that was

coiled up inside her.

Mahiru smiled, looking a bit better. "It's strange, you know. When you touch me, all I

feel is comfort."

"Part of me wishes you'd retained a bit of that caution you had when we first…"

He looked into Mahiru's eyes, asking silently if it was really all right to let him touch

her like this, and she answered with a beautiful smile.

"Oh, you're not satisfied with our current relationship?"

"It's n-not that I'm not satisfied, but… How do I put this…?"

"If I wasn't all right with it, I wouldn't be hanging around inside your apartment in the

first place, and I wouldn't be letting you touch me. I also never would have allowed

you to rest in my lap."

"You probably shouldn't have let me do that…"

"Even though you thoroughly enjoyed yourself?"

It was hard for Amane to argue that particular point.

He had happily laid his head down on Mahiru's thighs and fallen into a deep sleep, so

his insistence that they not do it again rang a bit hollow. Even if Mahiru had been the

one to propose it, he'd eagerly gone along with the idea in the end.

And so when Amane replied by averting his eyes somewhat and saying "…That was

that, and this is this," he received an amused laugh.

"Ha-ha! Very convenient. I'll have to remember to use that one later. But please… relax,

all right? I'll let you lay your head in my lap anytime you're tired."

"Ah, I think I'll refrain…"

Amane knew if he let himself get accustomed to such a wonderful experience, he'd

never be able to go back to being on his own. He'd become utterly hopeless, even more

than he already was, but with somehow even less ability to resist her.

When Amane gently declined her offer in the interest of preserving what little dignity

he had left, Mahiru smiled pleasantly. "Oh, that's too bad." She didn't seem particularly

disappointed. Amane figured she must have been making fun of him.

"…Don't tease me."

"I'm not. That's how I really feel."

In that case, she's just being mean.

Amane tried squeezing her hand harder to let her know how he felt, but Mahiru just

laughed like he was tickling her, and he had to quickly turn away to hide his obvious

embarrassment.