The Bird and the Cat. Part 2

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The Bird and the Cat. Part 2

The extent of my surprise was hard to describe in words. First, I found myself in some strange sort of ghostly or astral state. One could see through my translucent hand, but at the same time it was visible to me. Hell knows what. Second, instead of the expected lab floor or hospital bed, I found myself in some fucking desert. Third, V.J. Just what is my fat-ass antidepressant doing here and not in my apartment in Night City? And the cherry on top: I see a real unicorn up there in the distance. No, it's not those assholes who get cheated on by a girl who gives a blowjob in a club and then says it's just a blowjob, it's not really cheating so instead of horns, they only have one horn. It's a real unicorn, four hooves, a head and a horn.

To summarize, I'm in a fucked up state, find myself in a fucked up place with a cat, and I've also met a mythical animal. Full fucking package. Even my grit, which helped me survive Night City, is starting to fail. Is this the ravings of a dying brain? Purgatory? Hell? Certainly not Heaven, and I don't see the golden fields of Elysium or Angels with harps. Okay, I'll try to catch my breath. Wait, can I breathe? Fuck. I need to calm down and start thinking. I raise my hand and I wave it and shout: "Fuck it." The old auto-training way of releasing the negativity. Now it's time to really start thinking. By the way, where is that unicorn?

I turn around and realize that the unicorn is gone, though at one point it didn't seem so far away from me. Taking VJ more comfortably, I run, though it would be more accurate to say that I float, almost without touching the ground, in the direction where I last saw the unicorn. But no matter how long I ran, I couldn't find him. It was as if he had vanished. If I were in my physical body now, I might think I overheated and was seeing mirages, or at the very least, I'd think my implants were damaged. But in my strange ghostly-astral body, I didn't feel much heat or thirst after the run.

Not knowing what to do next, I decided I would just keep moving forward. Hunger, fatigue, or thirst don't bother me, so the question of ordinary survival doesn't hang over me like a sword of Damocles. But what about my psyche? Well, cut it out. I'm not going to think about it, or my mind will turn from a fortress of steel into a castle of sand, which only needs a slight breeze to fall apart and plunge me into the abyss of madness and depression. I'm just going to keep moving forward and hope for the best.

I don't know how long I wandered with a sleeping VJ through the desert, but my attention was caught by a sound familiar to any TT employee who's been on field trips for more than a couple months. Someone in the distance was throwing up and apparently very badly. I let VJ go to the ground and walked towards the sounds, I don't know if I can fight in my ethereal state, but I'd better keep my hands free just in case. VJ liked the sand and started playing with it.

"Okay, you stay here for now and don't make too much noise. I'm going to go find out who or what's out there. Okay?" - Giving out instructions to VJ, I walked towards the suffering thing.

My eyes almost popped out of my orbits when I saw that the vomit victim was a small girl who showed all the typical signs of starvation, dehydration and, it seems, not the weakest poisoning. But the reason for my surprise was not what a lonely girl was doing here, but the fact that she looked like the famous daughter of two dads. Cyrilla, Princess of Cintra and Witcher, well, and finally the daughter of Emgyr Emperor of Nilfgrad himself.

"I expected all sorts of things, of course, but this..." - Before I could finish, Ciri suddenly tried to take a defensive stance and started looking around until she finally noticed me.

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha." - she started laughing and crying. - "Apparently this desert has decided to finally finish me off. First the heat, thirst, hunger, and cold. And now the spirits. Haahahahahahahahahahahahahaa."

The laughing and crying quickly turned to full-blown hysteria. Except I had no desire to watch it, so purely on instinct I gave her a light slap. The tantrum ended, and the little sparrow looked at me with angry eyes. And if Ciri was busy thinking of a long and powerful insult, I was worried about another thing, how I, being a spirit disembodied, managed to give her a slap, because before that physical contact was, to say the least, rather limited.

While Ciri showed me that she had learned not only how to swing a sword in Caer Morhen, but also how to curse in a long and colorful manner, I pondered about this contact. Only two things came to mind: I could contact magic-gifted beings, or contact was only possible with Ciri because of the Source. So many questions and yet so few answers. Okay, she seemed to be done venting her anger. Time to start a more constructive dialog.

"'Have you had your say? Now let's have a proper conversation. But wait. I have to go get someone. Stay here and keep quiet." - Giving her instructions, I went over to VJ.

"Who the hell are you!" - replied Ciri.

Reaching the place where I had left my cat I quickly picked it up and went back to the sparrow-Ciri. VJ, upon seeing her, immediately jumped from my arms and ran, and started rubbing his head in  her like she was soaked in catnip.

"Traitor! Even me, his rightful master, is not adored like that." - a slight feeling of grievance made me speak up.

But the best part was that Ciri could scratch and pet him comfortably, even though he was as ethereal as I was. The cat worked like a good sedative and Ciri calmed down completely, even though her physical state was far from being okay.

"Okay. Since you've come to your senses and don't plan on crying again, we can finally introduce each other. I'm Marcus Berkut, an otherworlder, and this traitor and collaborator is my cat VJ. I'll tell you straight up, I have no idea how I, along with him, ended up here." - I start the conversation and note how tense Ciri gets after the word "otherworlder".

"My name is Ciri. Ahem I mean, Cirilla Fiona Ellen Rhiannon. Princess of Cintra and apprentice Witcher of the School of the Wolf and Yennifer of Wengeberg." - Trying to adopt a more or less regal tone, she introduces herself, but by the end she's starting to feel sick again.

""Yeah, you don't look like a princess at all, to say the least. When was the last time you ate or drank anything?"

"Ate a couple fruits of a strange plant this morning. And proper water only yesterday before I ended up in this desert."

"Okay, stop. You, totally unfamiliar with the local plants, just ate the first fruit you could find?"

"I was really hungry!" - she replies angrily.

"Now I'm not surprised you're suffering from food poisoning. Okay, we need to find a proper source of water and more or less safe food first. Otherwise, I doubt that in your current state, you'll last long. Hmm, I see a couple palm trees in the distance. Maybe we can use them to get some water. Can you walk?" - I have to curtail the introductions phase, because Ciri looks really bad, instead of wasting energy on words it's better to look for water.

"Yes. Are you sure you know how to get water? Not all water here is acceptable for drinking. One puddle turned out to be awfully salty." - Ciri asks, standing up and staggering.

"I'll be honest, I'm not sure. But just sitting here isn't an option either. So let's go towards the palm trees." - VJ jumped on her shoulder and we walked towards the palm trees. To our luck, they turned out to be date palms. If memory serves me correctly, they, almost like cactuses, have a good supply of water inside their trunks. Plus you can eat dates, which are quite nutritious.

Except it turns out the palm trees are guarded by a huge scorpion. Ciri only managed to dodge the ambush of this scorpion at the last moment.

"Hit him in the eye!" - was the only thing that came to my mind, for the TT doesn't teach you how to kill scorpions as big as dogs.

Ciri dodged and counterattacked whenever possible, but the poisoning and consequent weakness made it impossible to do acceptable damage, and she only had a small knife instead of a sword. And so it went on, until she finally remembered that she had learned from Yennifer and attacked using telekinesis. The blow wasn't strong enough to crush the scorpion into a pulp, but managed to roll it over onto its back, exposing a soft abdomen into which the blade of the knife almost immediately went in up to the hilt.

"'Step back! Just let him bleed out!" - Ciri wanted to strike again, but infuriated by its impending death, the scorpion became too dangerous. Thankfully, she obeyed me and started to keep her distance until the scorpion simply died from blood loss.

While Ciri tried to catch her breath after the fight, crouching in the shade of the palm trees, I examined the scorpion. On the one hand, it could probably be eaten, and the venom might come in handy in the future. On the other, who knows, maybe the meat is so poisonous that even heat processing on a bonfire will not save from poisoning, and I have no idea how to properly extract the poison.

"Did you get some rest?" - I turn to Ciri.

"A little. But now I'm even more thirsty." - She whispers back with chapped lips.

"Well then, follow my instructions. You take a knife, make a hole in the trunk of the palm tree, and drink the liquid that comes out. Just be careful, and also try not to just swallow it right away, but roll the liquid around in your mouth, let it get absorbed more, and only then drink it."

"Okay. Coming right now." - The thought that she could finally drink gave her a boost of energy, and here she was a couple minutes later, savoring the sap from the palm trees. Except it still wouldn't replace normal water, but it would be enough to sustain her until we could find something more suitable.

"Okay, now let's start gutting the scorpion." - I made Ciri raise her eyebrows in amazement.

"I'm not eating it! Besides, it's dangerous to eat monster meat! It can be poisonous! That's what it says in the bestiary!" - she shouts.

"You don't have to eat it. But chitin and whatnot could come in handy. We can make utensils or tools to collect the liquid from the palm tree." - I reply to her in a calm voice.

"Okay. Any other tips?" - She asks, lowering herself to the carcass of the dead scorpion.

Of course I do. I'll just remember all the bullshit Bear Grylls did. For now, we'll just go with basic survival knowledge.

"Just be careful not to damage the venom pouches. Oh, and clean the chitin with sand."

After she rimmed the chitin some and adapted it to collect water from the palm trees, I decided that was enough for today. Upon hearing this, she fell asleep almost immediately. Apparently she had been holding on by sheer willpower, and now that she realized she was safe, she drifted off into a dream world.

While Ciri was resting, I was thinking about what to do next. I guess we'll have to survive in this fucking desert until we reach civilization or until civilization comes to us.

Well, lets get ready for a new season. MAN VS WILD: Witcher World.