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Kai wished to close his eyes and simply disappear. He wished to turn into the smallest spec of dust and get swept away by the wind. His mind was blank and his eyes would soon start to water. He felt it, the upcoming upsetting emotions that would invade once more his life. He couldn't close his eyes though, he was unable to find this momentary peace he was asking for since if he did Philip's image would disappear before him. It was a very depressing paradox. He loved looking at him, his appearance a gift by the gods but his expression, the deep wrinkle between his eyebrows and the darkness in his stare were making him want to run away.