Confession 21

The next day I didn't even bother to go to the training. Mina and I had planned to meet in the kitchen secretly. We only had little time to socialize, that too was during dinner and under watchful guards. But the kitchen was a lax place, and we could hang out. The workers were humans, so we could pass off as the staff if she hid the tattoo. I wanted to go to training, but my coach will broach the topic of Lucien and my mood will be ruined. I would rather be happy and stay with Mina. She even scored us ice cream. We occasionally helped in the kitchen, so they never minded us staying there.

She moved us to a corner, and we sat by the fireplace. She poked around it a few times, so I knew she was acting as she was in charge of fire. It was freezing here anyway. The Lycans lived in the warm place above, while we freeze our asses here. "So, why did you ditch the training?", she asked me. "Nothing, it was becoming boring, and I wanted a break", I said honestly. "So Lucien being not there has nothing to do with this?", she asked me. "No", I said a little too quickly. She just laughed in response.

"Seriously, I don't want Lucien to be there. He wanted to ruin my training. We had a fight, and he left, but ever since he left Amir started hounding me. He is now more invested in my relationship with Lucien than my training ", I said. "You fought with Lucien and he left? ", she asked. I nodded in response. "So he didn't come to bed?", she asked. I shook my head and remembered that my relationship with Lucien was different. I thought of sharing it but decided against it.

"It's Ok, we will fix this. Lucien will come running after you after I'm done with the makeover", Mina said. My eyes widened at the word makeover. I never trusted anybody enough with myself. But Mina is different, I'm sure she won't let me embarrass myself. "What if I don't want Lucien or anybody running after me?", I asked her laughingly. "Well, then I would still want you to look beautiful because you can", said my friend. I hugged her, she was a great friend. I was no longer in my cocoon. My aunt will be so proud.

I wish she acknowledged me. I didn't know she was Igor's mistress. I didn't know if I could trust her anymore. Because she has betrayed her family. "So when are you going to fix me up"?, I asked her. She gave me an are you silly look. I raised my eyebrows at her. She sighed and answered, "Do you even know what day is it tomorrow?", she asked. I shrugged in response. "Tomorrow is the victory day for lycans. They celebrate their win over us every year, she said.

"So they want us to celebrate their victory and our losing together, what a nice idea, I said scoffing. She rolled her eyes in response. "That's the point, they have even forgotten that they aren't supposed to be celebrating it with the losers. The war was so long they hardly remember it, and they won. "I haven't forgotten anything ", I left it at that. She looked at me with pity. It was never too long ago for me. I lost my mother and father to lycans. Their hunger never stopped with winning. They wanted to raid and kill everyone who could cause an uprising in the future. By the time they were done, there were hardly any men left on our side.

"The thing about winning is that it never stays on one side. It is no loyal bitch, I told her. She held a finger to silence me. I hardly cared about being overheard. Every so often it felt good to let out. "So, will you go to training tomorrow", Mina asked me."? I have to ", I said. "Why because the king decreed it, she asked uncertainly. "No I have to train and learn how they are, so I could ", I hesitated for a moment and said "win". She narrowed her eyes at me. I smiled tenderly at her. She shook her head at me and said, "I could tell you are hiding things from me occasionally. I only hope you are not going to create any trouble ".

I smirked at her in response. "I thought you liked Lucien, every woman falls in love with him. It's hard not to", she said, her eyes closing dreamily. "If you haven't noticed, I'm not most women ", I told her. It's good that you don't because falling in love with Lyman makes it tougher for you", she said. I looked at her in a questioning way. She gave me a sad smile, which made me curious.

"You are accusing me of hiding things from you when it's you who is doing most hiding ", I teased her. She sighed and said," I think I'm falling in love with him. It's hard not to love him, he is smart, sensitive, and kind. He treats me good. He took me in because he is handicapped and no Lyman ladles would have him. He says he regretted participating in the war because he lost both his legs. He says he paid a heavy price for being young and stupid. "Lucien wanted to stop right after the victory, but Igor wanted to go and wipe out anyone who could later cause a threat. He sided with Lucien, and he was given a prestigious position in the court, but he was removed from the military. He says he is relieved to escape it, but I know he thinks it's because of his legs ", she said.

"His name is Ramiz. He is Lucien's half brother. But his mother was just a low caste lycan woman. So, he has no claims to the throne so lycan ladies don't give a shit about him", she ended her monologue. But I could sense her feelings for that gentleman. I wish I could also confess like her. How I have to possibly kill somebody to who I was attracted. What would be her reaction? But then decided against it. There's a time and place for everything, but today wasn't that day.