Chapter 18: Vanity Fair

I woke up in my room and found three pairs of eyes watching me. No..., I hated that everything was always about me, even before I came to the palace. I looked up at the ceiling, annoyed. Blocking everything out. I felt cloth on my head, it was damp and stuck to my forehead. Had I caught a fever? Some water dripped into my eye and I quickly squeezed it shut. "What happened?'', I asked weakly, although it was clear to me.

Judging by the pain in my cheek, I must have hit the ground. I took the flannel from my face and laid it on the bedside table, shuddering briefly as the liquid ran down my sleeve to my stomach. I rose slowly but that was a bad decision because I saw black shadows. I shook my head and the faces of my maids became visible again, only now I noticed that I had skilfully ignored them. I felt bad.

"You fainted Mylady, I mean Belle... you fainted, a guard carried you in. Dr Satson said you weren't eating enough and to ask you if you were losing weight,'' her stern words were cutting. I tried to placate it, I knew I was sleeping badly, barely keeping anything down, but I had my reasons. Reasons I didn't want anyone to know. "No, of course not, I've just been a bit stressed lately that's all."

A mental light bulb appeared above their heads. I preferred that to the truth, which meant death. "Don't worry, Nicolas will soon get over it," the youngest of them smiled at me. Why does everyone always think they know what's wrong with me? I reminded myself that she only meant well for me. I wanted Nicolas to turn his back on me, I hated him. Nevertheless, my heart wouldn't let me rest, every time I heard his name it grew louder as if it wanted to leap out of my chest and rush to him.

"How long was I unconscious?'', I asked as if it were a trifle. "Only two days, but no one noticed your absence.'', the middle one reported proudly. As I had already realised I was not important enough but not unimportant either. I asked myself a question and I couldn't help myself. "Did he... did he... come over?'', I sounded hopeful. And again my heart was faster than my mind.

"I am deeply sorry, but he never once asked where you were or what you were doing. As I said, no one noticed your absence.'' These words caused a rift in my heart, but I couldn't let that happen. I had to fight it. I swallowed my frustration and looked at the alarm clock. It was just before breakfast and, if I wasn't mistaken, it was also class with Madame Orangerrinne. I slipped out of bed and had to hold on to my bedside table. My strength had left me, but not my willpower. I would bite my way through the day today.

"Take it easy Belle, you don't have an important appointment. I had closed my eyes: "But I have to go to breakfast, I don't want to miss everything." To be honest, I just wanted to see the prince, I longed for him, it was selfish, I know. With all my strength I dragged myself to the bathroom. Suddenly I was overcome with nausea and I threw up in the bath. My nerves were so shot that I almost lost my senses again. No, I am not giving up, I will get through this day come what may. After my short trip to the bathroom, I went back to the others and got dressed up.

I slowly walked into the dining room and sat down in a seat far away from Nicola's sight. He seemed engrossed in his newspaper, which was fine with me, so I could concentrate on the food and make more inconspicuous glances. After the meal, which I almost couldn't get down, I walked through the corridors of the palace, for some reason I felt much better, maybe because I had something good in my stomach and I had almost regained my normal walking speed.

Giggling and footsteps echoed not far from me. The next moment I spied Nicolas arm in arm with a girl, I remembered her name was Juliette. She was okay, I didn't have much to do with them, they didn't like me. I didn't like her. Her nose was very straight and her skin tone golden, her brown curls matched her appearance. I had to admit that she was very pretty after all. Damn.

Nicola's eyes met me, they were icy cold, but the next moment guilty, as if I had caught him. They passed me by. Juliette didn't even notice me, typical of these women. She chatted and chatted, somehow a satisfaction for me that Nicolas now had to hear everything that didn't interest him.

I couldn't help but throw all my contempt at him: "That was quick with you!" He laughed dryly and stopped: "Everyone is replaceable, Miss Woodstock."

I didn't answer him, I just walked on. Let's see, I am an equal opponent, Nicolas.