Chapter 3: ZAK

I reached out and touched her because I couldn't help myself, and the next words I said to her pretty much sealed our fate. "No one will ever have you again but me." I never dreamed that she might be innocent, but I knew for damn sure somebody would die if anyone else ever came near her again.

She was the first woman I'd nicknamed in my life and the only one to have tied my guts in knots. I fell fast and fell hard that day. And in the weeks that followed, after I'd taken her cherry three days after we met, we'd been inseparable. Well, as much as that was possible while on an Op.

I spent my days watching her back more than my own, with a ball of worry in the pit of my gut. And at night, I spent what hours we had left 'til morning light buried inside her-trying to exorcise the worry and fear I had for her between her thighs.

I'd been like a dog in heat back then; we both were. And though I tried to shield her from the lascivious jests of the other men, it was no secret what we were doing; it was written all over our faces. Whenever we could find a dry place to fuck I would take her down. I don't know if it was being the thick of it or what; I just knew that where before I'd been more than happy to go without, now I found myself wanting her every free second and sometimes not so free ones.

My brothers had covered my ass plenty back then, and it helped that we were on a mission where there was a lot of waiting involved. So while we waited, I spent as much time as I could buried inside her.

Back then, it didn't matter how many times I came inside her; I wanted more, always more. She was like my own personal elixir, a tonic that I needed at least three, four times a day.

Every free moment we had, I was inside her, and she let me, never turning me away. When she bled and was in pain, and I couldn't have her, I laid beside her and held her close with my hand pressed against her tummy, willing the pain away. Three days later, I was pulling her under me again; by then, I had been ready to fuck the wind.

I'd taken the rubber off that first time after I'd felt her barrier on the tip of my cock. I'd never put one on since, and she'd never asked me to. Then again, by the time I nibbled on her neck and got my fingers between her pussy lips, she was too far gone to care.

It's what I remembered most about our time together, the feel of her bare skin against mine, that and the way my heart always seemed out of sync whenever she was around.

She'd been my first and only virgin. And the only woman I'd ever taken bareback. She was also the first woman any of us had messed with that the others seemed to automatically know was off-limits for the usual jokes.

No one even questioned the seriousness of the relationship, and after I explained it to my brothers, they were very accepting of it. Maybe because she wasn't the average woman that I would have to leave stateside, who knew nothing about military life, or maybe because they sensed that I would die without her, who knows, all I know is that from the first, I never wanted her out of my sight.

We'd been on one furlough together. I'd dragged her off with my brothers and I to a beach in Riad, away from the battle and the death and destruction. We'd spent the whole weekend in bed together until she was sore. Even then, I'd licked her pussy until she wasn't hurting anymore, just so I could fuck her again. Only stopping when she cried from the pain.

Once, we'd tried playing tourist, but we'd lasted all of fifteen minutes before I was hustling her back to the hotel. I've never fucked anyone as much as I fucked her that weekend, not before and definitely not since. It was the only time we'd had together like that before things had fallen apart not long after.

Because I couldn't get over my fear of her getting hurt, not to mention wanting her away from this asshole that couldn't keep his eyes off her ass and had almost caught my bullet. If it hadn't been for Lo and Con, I would've probably ended up in a military prison for the rest of my life because of that fuck. In the end, I'd settled for kicking his ass once we were all back on domestic soil. I have Ty to thank for that, but that's another story.

We'd argued, and both of us had been out of line, and just like that, we had unraveled. The shit had happened so fast and been so unexpected I don't think I'd believed it was real until the pain set in. I'd missed her so fucking much in those first few days after she'd shipped out that I thought I wasn't gonna make it.

If I were a drinking man, I would've found my way to the bottom of a bottle. But because I wasn't that weak, not to mention the six men I called my brothers were like fucking sentinels watching over me, I made it through.

I had to come to terms with a lot of shit quick if I wanted to survive. I was still in love with her; yes, didn't think that shit would ever change, but I'd made up my mind to live without her, even if it meant spending the rest of my life alone. That shit had been easier said than done, though. There were plenty of nights when I'd plotted her abduction and all the other ways I was gonna get her back. Then my stubbornness would kick in, and I'd say fuck it.

Now she's back, and I feel whole again. If that fuck Tyler ever got a gander at what was going on in my head in the last few days, he'd be on my ass with his bullshit for sure. I find myself caught between smiling like an ass at absolutely nothing and scowling into the wind. All with a fucking hard-on that wouldn't quit. Just having her near these last few days has been like a reawakening or some shit.