Anna's extreme obsessive tendencies were known to everyone in the main Heatsend family. While the rest of the family was worried for their only heir the Southern princess who had just been betrayed by someone she believed to be the love of her life did not hesitate to use her daughter's extremely obsessive tendencies to control her. In contrast, the rest of the family believed she was controlling Anna's extreme obsession and not Anna.
She made sure she was the target of Anna's obsession by using her natural right as Anna's mother and making Anna fight for her affection and appreciation. It was natural for a child to seek the love and approval of their parent. It was the same true for Anna.