Happy Birthday

“ So Josh I hear someone has a birthday coming up,” Echo said a few weeks ago while Killer Instinct was hanging out in our backstage locker room.

“ Yeah I’m turning nineteen tomorrow,” I responded.

“ The seventh?” Julius asked as he threw an empty beer can away.

“ Yeah” I responded, drinking from my own can. In the few weeks I had been in Las Vegas I slowly had gotten over the taste of beer to the point I kind of liked it now. Trey leaned forward with a smirk.

“ Well, then tomorrow night we are definitely partying.”

“ I dunno, I was just going to hang out in my apartment,” I said.

“ Ah come on man. You’re in Vegas! Live a little,” Mikey said.

“ Don’t worry Josh, I’ll make sure you have the night of your life. Maybe you’ll lose your virginity,” Trey said.

“ Already did that,” I replied, wishing I hadn’t said anything. As their eyes widened with interest I mentally kicked myself. What was I going to tell them now? I couldn’t tell them I had gotten the girl I was with pregnant then left, they probably would want nothing more to do with me.

“ Yeah? Who?” Echo asked smiling.

“ Just someone I was with back home. I don’t even remember her name,” I responded casually draining the rest of my can, set it down, and wiped my mouth. “ Anyway, I gotta find Ruki. He and I need to talk about our match.”

I stood up, fist-bumped each of them, and left the locker room. While it was true what I said, it wasn’t my only reason I left. I was trying hard to forget about Vala but find it harder with each passing day. I thought about dialing her number every day in the hopes of talking to her but realized that wouldn’t be a good idea. So I tried to avoid any conversation topics that wouldn’t lead to her. It wasn’t easy but it was all I could do.

I found Ruki’s locker room and knocked.

“ Come in,” I heard him say from his room. I opened the door and stepped inside his locker room. Ruki was in the process of painting his face white and red. He was already dressed in his ring gear, red sleeveless button-up vest, black leather pants, and black wrestling boots.

“ Hey man, how’s it going?” He asked looking at me through the mirror “ take a seat anywhere,” I sat on the white couch he had in his locker room, trying to get comfortable.

“ Okay, so I’m going over tonight. Bret wants you and me to build our feud so after I win you and your friends are going to beat me up then you’ll proclaim yourself as the sickest son of a bitch in the company,” Ruki explained still painting his face.

“ Okay that makes sense,” I said with a nod. I didn’t imagine I’d be winning this one. Ruki has been the Extreme Division Champion for seven months and was one of Sin City Wrestling’s most beloved characters with his “Androgynous Nightmare ” gimmick.

“ So what kind of hardcore stuff have you done before? Have you ever taken thumbtacks?” Ruki asked.

I nodded, wincing at the memory of my one Tackbump. Vala has chastised me for hours after the match, asking me if I was trying to kill myself.

“ How about barbed wire?” Ruki asked. This time I shook my head no. I had yet to take barbed wire but I didn’t think it could be worse than thumbtacks.

“ Are you willing to? It’s okay if you’re not, it’s rather daunting,”

“ No, it’s okay. I’ll do it,” I said my mouth dry.

“ You sure?” Ruki said frowning through his mirror “ If you’d rather not it’s okay.”

“ Nah it’s fine. If this is gonna be my character, I might as well do it right?”

“ Well one thing I know about you now is you’ve got guts,” Ruki said giving me a slight nod. “ Feel free to change your mind. I’ll understand,”

We finished talking about our match and concluded our talk by promising to see each other out there. I headed back to the Killer Instinct locker room and proceeded to get ready. I wore blue jeans, elbow pads, and the new Killer Instinct T-shirt. It was black and had a white skull with red eyes. On its head was a green army hard hat. Below the skull were the words Killer Instinct followed by two white flintlock pistols formed into an X. On the back written in cursive were the words “ Kill On Sight.”

We met backstage and once We Are On started to play, Killer Instinct went through the curtain. The fans in the Grand Garden booed loudly as we stood on the stage shoulder to shoulder. In the weeks since debuting we had been attacking any and everyone we had seen fit and spray pointed onto their bodies three-letters, K.O.S. The five of us got to the ring with microphones aiming finger guns at the crowd.

“ Las Vegas, you have been blessed with the arrival of Killer Instinct!” I said to a sea of boos in response. “ What you have here is the finest group of performers to ever grace the squared circle. We have the man who defines class and poise, Mikey. We have the badest dude to ever exist, Julius. We have the technical wizard, Echo Wilson. We have the man who sees the words death-defying and gives its definition the finger, the most psychotic son of a bitch in wrestling today, Jason Ryan and at the head, we have The SCW World Heavyweight Champion, the greatest person to ever hold the title Trey Jordan!”

Whatever I was going to say next was cut off by I Don’t Like the Drugs but The Drugs Like Me by Marilyn Manson. Ruki the Androgynous Nightmare stood on stage to a loud ovation. The love the fans had for Ruki was clear to see. He sauntered his way down to the ring, microphone in hand. He started off his promo with his signature high pitches maniacal laugh.

“ Lookie what we have here my little doves. Five little starlings trying to be eagles,” Ruki laughed again as he got in the ring. “ And of all the little starlings looking to fly there is one loudest of the rest,” Ruki stood in front of me while I tried my best to look disgusted.

“ Ah, I do not believe we have met. Pleasure to meet your acquaintance. My name is Ruki but you can call me… Beloved.” Killer Instinct huddled around us, each of us selling how uneasy and disturbed we felt. Ruki stepped closer to me, causing me to step back. “ Ah yes, I believe you’ll make a most excellent playmate,” he said then pecked me on the cheek, causing me to strike him so hard he fell on his back. Ruki scrambles back as I made a big show of wiping my cheek and showing how grossed out I was.

“ You have done it now freak. You just earned yourself the honor of being Killer Instinct’s next victim. Get a referee down here. I want you, No Holds Barred!” I yelled in the microphone. The crowd popped as Runk hauled himself up by the middle rope, looking enamored with the idea. Killer Instinct left the ring, a referee slid in after rushing out to the ring and signaled for the match to start.

As soon as the bell rang I began striking Ruki over and over again. I backed up as Ruki was able to stand by hanging on to the ropes. I ran to the corner and hit Ruki with a big boot. As Ruki collapsed and rolled out of the ring, I cockily strutted around the ring, aiming finger guns at fans while Ruki got his bearings. When I saw him I bounced off the ropes, going for a dive in between the top and middle rope but Ruki made me pay with a trash can lid to the face. I fell back on my back as Ruki rolled back in the ring and instead of taking advantage, walked around three-fourths of the ring and then started crawling towards me.

I waited for Ruki to get close then spring. Quick as a light turning on, I had him in a Crossface. Ruki was able to slide out of the ring, breaking my gold. I exited the ring as well and grabbed a kendo stick. I spun it around a few times before smashing it across Ruki’s back. Ruki winced and arched his back. I swung again, this time the contact splitting the fans in two. I grabbed a jagged piece of the wood and dug it into the flesh of Ruki’s face.

“ Oh dearie I like it when you play rough,” Ruki said loud enough to be hurt. I let my disgust show once again and dropped Ruki to the ground so he could blade. I distracted the fans by looking under the ring and threw in a chair, a trash can, and grabbed a baseball bat to use. I slowly walked back over to Ruki who was now standing, showing the blood running down his face for all to see. I swung and hit Ruki in the small of his back with the baseball bat.

I started shit talking the crowd while Ruki recovered.

“ This is the best SCW has to offer? This is your guy Vegas? No wonder you people are nothing but a bunch of filthy degenerates. You should be on your knees thanking Killer Instinct. We are here to clean up SCW. You’re welcome!”

Ruki put an end to my mouth by hitting me with a low blow. I made a big show of covering my crotch and showing how much pain I was in. Ruki stood up and skipped to the ring, looking under it. The crowd popped as Ruki pulled out a piece if wood with thumbtacks sticking out. He dragged it towards me and hauled me to my feet. I had my eyes closed, anticipating what was next with dread. Oh God why am I doing this?

Ruki hit me with a snap suplex onto the thumbtacks. Pure agony raced through my body. It felt like a bunch of tiny knives were stabbing me at once. Ruki quickly got me out of the tacks and threw me in the ring. I quickly scrambled to the ropes and cling to the middle rope. Ruki followed after me with the steel chair I had throw in the ring and swung at my back. The agony I was already feeling multiplied when the steel met my back.

Ruki swung the chair at my bloody back again and again. He finally threw the chair to the side and picked me up. He went for the Unprettier, the finishing move he calls Sister Mageline, I pushed him away and hit him with a clothesline. I got out of the ring and grabbed a table. I clutched my back for a few seconds before sliding the table on the coming. I flipped off a random fan who was yelling curse words at me then slid after the table.

As soon as Ruki stood up I kicked him in the gut and hit a Stunner. I’ve been thinking of making the move one of my go to moves in my move set and calling it the Kill On Sight. I set up the table in the middle of the ring then picked Ruki up. I laid him on the table, went to the top rope, shot a finger gun at Ruki then connected with an elbow drop to the heart. The crowd popped as I went for the cover.

“ One, two, th-“ When Ruki kicked out I made a big show of looking surprised. Then I rolled out of the ring and grabbed the steel steps. I slid them in the ring and came back in with them. I picked up the steel steps and waited for Ruki to stand up. Once he did I cracked him in between the eyes with him. Instead of going for a cover I dropped the steel steps and picked Ruki up. I climbed o tip of them and set Ruki up for the Perculator on top of the steel steps but Ruki reversed it into a Sister Mageline in a bitter taste of irony.

Ruki went for a cover but only got a two count. As the fans cheered wildly for the match Ruki spoke in my ear.

“ This is it. You sure you want to go through with the barbed wire bump?”

“ Go ahead. It can’t be much worse than a Tackbump,” I answered. Ruki left the ring as I sold being out. When their cheers began louder I winced involuntarily. I knew what he had grabbed. A wooden pallet wrapped in barbed wire. I felt myself being lifted to my feet. When I dared opened my eyes I was greeted with the sight of barbed wire. Ruki then hit me with a Double Underhook Facebuster, a move he calls The Love Tap.

The scream of agony I let out was louder than the one from the Tackbump. It came from deep inside my chest, a bellowing scream of pain. It’s worse! Oh my God this is so much worse! Mercifully this was the end of the March. Ruki went for the cover and the referee counted the pinfall. Ruki’s music began to play as he started to Kayfabe celebrate. I rolled off the pallet as ringside doctors begin to check on me.

“ Josh! Josh, you okay?” One asked me.

I weakly opened my eyes and chuckled “ Hey mom how’d I do? My face okay?”

The doctors chuckled as they wiped the blood from my face and assessed me. They concluded that my wounds were nothing that wouldn’t heal given time and backed off. As I stood up the rest of Killer Instinct has surrounded Ruki and were closing in. The Androgynous Nightmare was on his knees arms wide open in welcome, allowing me to get to my feet and hit him with the Desti-Knee. Now it was our turn. We each took turns pummeling Ruki with our assault ending with each of us hitting our finishing moves.

I crouched down in front of him with a microphone in hand.

“ I’ll be seeing you again soon, you son of a bitch!” I yelled before spitting in his face. Killer Instinct sprayed painted KOS on his back, shot finger guns at Ruki then left the ring as the fans booed loudly.

“ Fuck KI! Fuck KI! Fuck KI!”

“ I really want to get a dog,” I said to no one as I relaxed on my couch the next night, my birthday. I was moving gingerly after the hardcore match and had spent most of the day on the couch. Of course, my stable was more or less forcing me to go out tonight. In fact, I was waiting for them to knock on my door. As if on cue I heard knocking.

“ Speak of the devils,” I muttered, getting up to open the door. I opened the door and was hit by a torrent of silly string.

“ Happy birthday!” Came the united chorus from my stablemates.

I wiped the string from my face and grinned “ you guys suck!”

“ Thank you!” Echo said. “ You ready to get fucked up?”

“ I guess,” I said feeling a bit on edge for what they had planned.

“ You’re going to thank us later,” Trey said, “ Come on, Let’s get going.”

The five of us piled into Trey’s Rolls Royce and drove into the busy streets of Las Vegas. Being from a small town in Montana, I was still awestruck by how big, loud, and busy Las Vegas is. The closest Montana has to Las Vegas is Billings and they don’t even begin to compare. If Las Vegas is a Great Dane then Billings is a teacup poodle. I looked out the window and stared at the passing scenery. I was so enamored with the sights I jumped when I heard Trey say” we’re here.”

When I got out of the car I noticed we were in front of a club of some sort called The Allure. When we walked to the entrance I was sure I was going to be turned away due to how young I looked in contrast to everyone else.

“ He’s with us,” was all Trey said. The bouncer merely nodded and let me pass without so much as a word. When we walked in I saw this was in fact a strip club.

“ You guys didn’t tell me you had this planned,” I said.

Julius shot me an evil smile” wouldn’t be much of a surprise if we told you now would it?” I don’t remember much after that. I remember being served a lot of drinks at our table. We had a few of the dancers hanging out at the table and because it was my birthday I was getting most of the attention. I remember getting a few dances while drinking more and more. Voices I couldn’t discern spoke to me, the world was a blur. I don’t want to even imagine the bill.

All I’m really sure of is Mikey was running around in a horse costume at some point. Also, Echo may have performed a belly dance while standing on a table while singing Rockstar. I do remember Julius chugging an entire pitcher of beer and getting so drunk he started hitting on a picture on the wall. Trey left halfway through with a few women, I didn’t see him for the rest of the night. The last thing I remember before blacking out is getting swept in a game of beer pong. When I woke up I was staring at a ceiling, lying in a bed I didn’t recognize in a room I didn’t recognize. My head felt like I had taken several unprotected steel chair shots to the head.

“ Oh God kill me now,” I moaned, putting a hand to my head.

“ You’re awake,” came a quiet female’s voice. I jerked my head to the left to notice a read hair blue eyes woman putting her clothes back on. It was only then I noticed I was naked.

“ What the…” I mumbled trailing off.

“ Don’t worry about the room, it’s taken care of,” the woman said laying down next to me with a small smile. “ See you around,” she said with a peck on the cheek before getting up and headed towards the door.

“ Wait, “ I said sitting up. “ What’s your name?”

She paused and looked back at me” It’s Jessica but if you come back to The Allure it’s Destiny.” She waved goodbye and walked out of the room. I gave a deep sigh and fell back on my back, wishing someone would just kill me so I could be rid of this hangover.

“ Josh what the hell are you doing?” I asked myself. Sadly I had no answer.