Dreaming of Her

*Nathan's POV*

"She broke up with you."

"Naghiwalay na kayong dalawa tapos nakilala mo ko pero bakit parang kasalanan ko na minahal narin kita?"

"You were on your way to me, Nate. Sinabi mong babalikan mo ko pero bakit hindi ka na bumalik?"

"You promised me. Sabi mo, ako lang. Sabi mo, mahal mo ko.. pero bakit ngayon, hindi na?"

It's just another dream.

It's not real.

I've been awake for 5 days at dahil sa sinabi niya, kung ano ano na yung napapaginipan ko.

My mind kept replaying what she said that day.

I was so sure that Ivy was the person that I kept dreaming about pero ngayon, naguguluhan na ko. Hindi ko na makita ng maayos yung mukha niya.

So I decided to get discharged.

Kailangan ko na umalis para maging maayos narin yung alaala ko.

"Are you sure about this, Nathan?"

"Pati ba naman po kayo, Tita?"

"But what if she's really important?" She asked back. "Won't you regret not remembering her?"

"No." Sagot ko. "As long as I remember Ivy, it's all that matters."

Tinitigan niya ko saglit.

"Okay, I'll sign your discharge papers."

I smiled at her. "Thank you, Tita."

"But in return, you have to promise me one thing, Nathan."

"Ano po yun?"

"Kailangan mo kong puntahan kapag may naalala ka."

"That's fine, Tita."

I'm too confident that I won't remember anything.

But I was wrong.

Simula nung umalis ako, mas lalo lang lumala yung nangyari sa'kin.

I had no choice kundi gawin yung kapalit ng paglabas ko sa ospital.

Pinuntahan ko siya sa bahay niya, only to find out na kapatid pala siya ni Kuya Alec. I didn't know that aside from him, I'll see someone else. Someone who knows me.

It reminded me of what Tita said.

"Kailangan mo kong puntahan kapag may naalala ka."

Ito ba yung tinutukoy niya?

Kuya was right.

May naalala ako, but it's just glimpses. It wasn't enough to explain what was happening.

Gulong gulo ako.

"Tita, what's wrong with me??" I asked pagpasok ko ng office niya. "I just saw someone that I've never met in my life. How will you explain that???"

I was startled.

I don't know her, pero bakit ganun?

The moment she hugged me, I unconsciously mouthed her name.

"Why are you so sure na hindi mo siya kilala?" Sabi niya. "If she knows you, siguradong nagkakilala na kayo."

Calm down, Nathan.

It's nothing. Nagkataon lang yun.

She's not someone you know.

"This is what I kept telling you." Sagot niya. "I asked you right before signing the papers kung sigurado ka na ba and you said yes."

"I'm sorry, Tita.."

This was my decision.

I chose to leave the hospital and reject the therapies.

Hindi ko siya dapat sisihin.

"Did you remember anything other than the person you saw earlier?"

Umiling ako.

"Nathan, isa lang yung paraan para makaalala ka." She said. "And if you don't do it, hindi ko na alam kung paano pa kita matutulungan."

"..."

"Do you really wanted to live without 3 years worth of memories?"

Of course not..

"You don't have to worry about Ivy." Sabi niya. "I won't tell her."

"Why are you doing this, Tita?"

"Because I'm a doctor, Nathan." Sagot niya. "What's the point of being one if I can't even help?"

"But Ivy--"

"Personal relationships should not get in the way of work." She answered. "But until you recover all of your memories, hindi mo dapat sabihin kahit kanino yung pinag-usapan natin."

"Why??"

"Dahil hindi natin alam kung sino yung dapat mong pagkatiwalaan."

"What does that even mean?"

I can't trust anyone??

"You have to remember para malaman mo." Sabi niya. "Now do me a favor and take off that ring. Don't wear it unless I tell you to."

***

"Babe."

I looked at her. "Hm?"

"Your phone kept ringing."

We were on our way to school and she's driving. I took out my phone and turned it off.

"Hindi mo ba sasagutin?" Tanong niya. "Kanina pa may tumatawag. Baka importante yun."

Umiling ako. "It's nothing, babe."

Tita has been calling me for two days at hanggang ngayon, hindi ko parin sinasagot.

"Babe, where's your ring?"

Ngayon ko lang napansin na wala siyang suot na singsing.

"What ring?"

"Our promise ring." Sagot ko. "I gave you one, remember?"

"..."

"Why? Nawala mo ba?"

"Of c-course, not."

"Then why don't you wear it?"

"Baka kasi mawala, babe." She answered. "It's too important to lose dahil bigay mo yun."

Bakit kaya pinatanggal yun sa'kin ni Tita?

"Are you mad?"

"No. May iniisip lang ako."

"Don't worry." Sabi niya. "It's safe. It's inside the locket you gave me. Naaalala mo pa?"

I nodded and smiled at her. "Nasa sa'yo pa pala yun?"

"Oo naman." Sagot niya. "Tinatago ko lahat ng binigay mo."

Theia finally went to school.

Bakit kaya wala siya kahapon?

Maybe she figured out that I went to their house and left. Alam niya narin siguro yung pinag-usapan namin ni Kuya.

Stop it, Nate. I told myself.

Hindi mo dapat siya iniisip.

I know I shouldn't pero may nakita ako na wala dapat sa kanya.

"Nate..."

Hindi ako makapaniwala.

"Nate?" I stared at her.

Bakit suot suot niya 'to?

Bakit nasa kanya yung dapat kay Ivy?

***

"IVY!!!"

I ran towards her.

Kakatapos lang ng laro and we won. Nilingon ko siya sa upuan niya only to find out wala na siya.

"Anong nangyari??"

She didn't answer.

Patuloy lang siya sa pag-iyak sa harapan ko.

I was too mad seeing her like this pero nung humarap ako kay Theia, biglang sumakit yung puso ko.

She was on the floor, crying.

I didn't know what I was doing.

I couldn't understand what I felt.

Naramdaman ko nalang na pinigilan ako ni Ivy na lumapit sa kanya.

"Okay ka lang ba, babe?"

Am I?

I just reached her hand and held it. Ito lang yung magagawa ko to calm her down.

"Uy, babe.." Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Bakit ka umiiyak??"

"Hindi mo kasi ako kinakausap.."

"S-sorry na.."

"Galit ka sa'kin no??"

"Hi-hindi.. marami lang akong iniisip."

It's true. Ang daming gumugulo sa isip ko.

"Tahan na, babe. Baka isipin nila inaway kita."

I saw her wiping away her tears.

"Masakit parin ba?"

"It doesn't."

Her question made me remember Kuya's punch. Natawa tuloy ako.

"Why?"

"Ngayon lang kasi niya ko sinapak."

I never saw that side of him before.

"Hey." Tahimik na naman siya. "Maliit na sugat lang naman 'to, babe."

"Pero nag-away din kayo ni Tita dahil sa'kin.."

"Hindi naman dahil sa'yo." I said. "She's actually asking me to spend time with her. But don't worry too much, babe. Ikaw parin yung pinili ko."

Pinili kita pero anong ginawa ko kanina?

If you didn't stop me, siguradong nalapitan ko siya.

******