My biggest fear is being alone...

I plopped down on my bed angrily and huffed.I know I shouldn't be angry at Christian and that he just wanted to help me but what he said really ticked me off. How could he say he understands what I'm going through. When as he ever lost anyone before.

How dare he?

I thought as my phone rang. I took it from my bag and without checking the caller ID I picked it.

"Yes?"

"Yo bitch."

"Hey Trish."

"Whatcha doing tonight."

"Nothing really." I said shrugging.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, my friend's boyfriend from biology is throwing a party. Wanna tag along?"

"Sure."

"It's going to be fun don't be a killjoy.... Wait did you just say yes?" She asked uncertain.

"Yeah. What time you picking me up?"

"Wow and I thought I would have to convince you."

"Yeah sure. So what time?" I asked her again.

"Oh. Erm is 8 okay?"

"Yeah sure. Erm Trish?"

"Yeah?"

"What's the host name?"

"Laden."

"Laden?" I didn't recognize that name.

"Yeah he doesn't go to our school."

"Oh okay. See you at 8."

"Bye b"

"Bye." I said and hung up. I checked my bedside clock to see it was just 4.

Better start getting ready.

By 7:54 I was ready. I decided to wear a silver sequin short sleeve mini dress. Silver glittery open toe chunky high heels, sliver dropping earrings, and I decided to leave my hair straightened with a centre parting. My make up was minimal. I put my phone and keys in a grey purse and I was ready to go.

Exactly at 8, the door bell rang. I went downstairs and knowing it was Trish, I opened the door

Wow

Trish was dressed in a glittery gold off shoulder sequin mini dress, black dropping earrings,black flower rhinestone choker necklace, gold single strap heeled sandals and a black tailgate pearl rhinestone handbag. For her makeup, she used a nude lipstick, dark brown eyeliner, rose blush and a bit of highlighter while I went with a burgundy lipstick, with black eyeliner.

She looks really beautiful.

"Aw look at us wearing sequins." She said hugging me and I hugged her back.

"You look beautiful by the way." I said on my way out.

"Of course I always do." She said and I rolled my eyes." But so do you."

"Thanks."

"Now let's go get drunk!" She shouted as we neared her car and I smiled.

"How rich is this guy again?" I asked in awe as I stared as his house.

"Really rich."

"Wow."

"Yeah I'm soooo jealous." She said as she packed her car a few feets from the house.

"C'mon let's go get loose." I said getting out of the car.

Into the party when I had my what 2, no 3, um, 5, I had a couple a drinks, a boy walked up to me. He had hazel eyes and blond curly hair or is black? He wore an earring on his right ear.

"Hey beauty." He said and I cringed. "My name is Dan. What's yours?"

"Ella." I lied.

"Hey did we take a class together? I swear we had chemistry."

Is he flirting with me?

"I'm thinking history. Which is what you should be right now." I said and he smiled thinking it was some kind of go ahead?

"Do you have a map? I getting lost in your eyes."

"Sorry no map. Why don't you get lost. Like literally." I tried again but he didn't bulge.

"I just googled sexy and your face showed up." He said and I almost gagged. Literally.

"You will get the same results if you search not interested."

"That's a cute dress.. It would look better on my bedroom floor."

"Okay that's it." I said putting my hands up in frustration and walked off to the kitchen to get another drink.

An hour later, I was really drunk, everything and everyone were spinning. I couldn't see Trish nor that creepy guy anymore. I walked outside the house and onto the porch. I brought out my phone from my purse and dialed a number.

"Panda?"

"Heyyyyyyyy" my voice slurred.

"Are you drunk?"

"Um....maybe" I giggled.

"Where are you?"

"Uh I don't know?" I giggled again

"Who are you with?"

"Trish"

"Is she there?"

"Nope." I said popping the 'p'

"Where are you?"

"I think it's Jaden? Jason? Kaden? "Laren? Wait let me ask. Yo dude!" I shouted to a random guy.

"Yeah?"

"Where we at?!"

"Erm Laden's?"

"Right thanks. I think am at Laden's"

"Oh okay. I will be there in 20"

"Byeeeeeeeeee." I drawed and hung up.

.... 

Christian.

I pulled up at Laden's in 20 mins and saw Ashley sitting down on the grass by the roadside. I parked my car in front of her and got down to meet her.

"Heyyyyyyy Chris". She slurred.

"Pls don't call me that." I muttered and I pulled her up and she giggled.

"How did you get here?"

"I flew." I replied dryly.

"What?" She asked shocked. She didn't wait for my reply before she added "That's cool."

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I opened the door for her to sit.

"Steaming off." She said giggling.

Looks like she's the giggly type.

"Okay?" I said and closed the door, rounded the car, got in and started driving.

"Do you know that I never had sex before?"

"Um okay?"

Truthful Ash is out now.

"Yeah and I'm not ashamed. Although I'm not the 'keep my virginity till marriage' kind of person, I still want to give it to a guy that I trust you know? That I can say he's worthy. Ya feel me?"

"Um...." This conversation is really uncomfortable.

"You know, a guy was flirting with me back in there."

My jaw ticked at the thought of another guy flirting with her.

"He was so close and creepy."

Don't be jealous, don't be jealous.

"It's silent in here." She said and turned on the radio and a Chainsmoker song came on.

"Oh my god I love this song!!!" She bounced happily and I smiled.

Looks like lively Ash is on a go.

"Hey, I was doing just fine before I met you,"

"I drink too much and that's an issue but I'm okay."

"Hey, you tell your friends it was nice to meet them and I hope I don't see them again."

She sang along, her voice rising and bad.

"I know it breaks your heart

Moved to the city in a broke down car,

And, four years no call,

Now you are looking pretty in a hotel bar

And I I I I can't stop

No I I I I can't stop,"

She formed her hand into a fist and brought it to her mouth as a microphone and her other hand in the air swaying.

"So baby pull me closer

In the back seat of the Rover

That I know you can't afford

Bite that tattoo- hey!!!!!! What you do that for????" She asked as I switched off the radio.

"Well I didn't want to go deaf yet sooooo"

"Dickhead." She muttered and crossed her arms as she scoffed.

"I'm scared." She suddenly said after a long period of silence.

"Why?"

"You know," she sniffed.

Emotional Ash has began her shift.

"You wanna know what my biggest fear is?"

"Um, sure?"

"Well, my biggest fear is being alone." She said. "I fear everyone will leave me like my sister and my brother and then I will be left all alone."

"I won't leave you." I said quickly glancing at her then back on the road.

"Yeah right. That's what Lucy said when she broke her arm when I was seven and I thought she was going to die but guess what? She's dead now." She said crying silently.

My heart tugged at her crying. I could take her anger, childishness but not this.

"What's yours."

"Huh?"

"What's your biggest fear?" She asked as she wiped her tears.

"Being unable to help." She burst into another fist if tears.

"I'm making it hard aren't I?"

"No"

"You said you wanted to help but I'm just making it hard."

"It's okay. It happens." I turned to face her but she had already fallen asleep.

The first time I saw her, I was immediately drawn to her. With her eyes which held secrets I wanted to explore. Her eyes held sadness that I so much wanted to take away and now she slept peaceful beside me like she has no worries.

I parked my car in her driveway and got down to help her out.

"Panda?" I tapped her.

"Panda?" I tried again.

"It's in the fridge." She said whining.

Wtf

"C'mon girl it's time to get up."

"What?????" She said tiredly.

"We're home. C'mon let's go."

"Home?"

"Yeah?"

"How?"

"I brought you."

"Oh." I collected the keys from her and walked her up to the front door and opened it.

"C'mon let's go." I said pulling her beside me and going up the stairs.

"Which is your room?"

"Um.....second...sec....second by the right."

I opened the door to her room and I was shocked. I thought I was going to see a lot of pink but I was met with Sapphire blue and grey colors. She had a plasma TV on her wall. A reading desk and chair with books stacked on both sides. And a walk in closet that was currently open. Her bed was a white California king sided bed with grey beddings.

I laid her gently on her bed and reached down to unbuckle her shoes. When I finished, she had slept off again and I tucked her in. I noticed the panda she won at the fun park beside her and smiled.

I turned to walk away but stopped when I heard,

"Christian?"

"I'm sorry." She said sleepily

"Good night panda." I said softly.

"Night." She whispered and with that I walked out closing the door softly behind me.