CHAPTER 44

XAVIER'S POV

I couldn't lie still on the bed. I felt like a caterpillar that was wiggling on its back. My gut felt like it had been wrenched out.

Did someone stab my stomach? Because it sure felt like it was being murdered. I'm certain it was the pizza I had last night. I tried closing my eyes and sleeping it off.

Okay, slow and steady Xavier. Keep 'em closed.

Hundred.

Ninety-Nine.

Ninety-eight.

Ninet- Fuck, it hurts so bad.

My eyes open abruptly like I'd just been burned. I got up and tried walking. Maybe walking might help because lying down wasn't an option. I looked out of the window and saw the trees bending to their left. The wind had shifted its directions. I could see a tree that had been uprooted from the soil.

That tree reminded me of myself. I was still here but I wasn't alive. I could feel the air that entered and left but I couldn't breathe.

I let out a groan as my stomach felt like it's had been tied in knots.

When was Ophelia coming?

Why was she taking so long?

Did she lose her way or something?

I decided to think about good things. Doesn't that make even death feel beautiful? I sat down on the couch that felt like cardboard. I felt so guilty for making Ophelia sit here, the whole morning.

This whole fiasco was my fault. Ophelia failed to submit her English assignment, which she probably worked too hard on. I am making her pay for this room and we're probably going to be stuck here the whole night.

So I'm making her lie to her parents too.

All this because of my idiotic impatience. We could have just visited Nicole tomorrow. I rarely take such careless decisions, but when I do, they are really hasty.

And stupid.

I wonder if Ophelia found the medicine because the pain was increasing by the minute. I clenched my stomach like I was hugging myself. It's the feeling you get when you're nervous, the butterflies.

Only, these butterflies are armed and prepared for war. My insides tighten. It's like a balloon in my abdomen that's just been popped. The pain was gut-wrenching—almost unbearable. Like someone was playing the accordion with my intestines.

Okay, Xavier. Don't get distracted. Think about the good things. I closed my eyes and I tried imagining something. Anything that was away from here would work.

I found myself on a cliff. I could see the whole city from up here. The sun was setting as the sky was blushing. The pinks and the oranges painted the most beautiful canvas I'd ever seen.

I heard a laugh from behind me. I turned and saw a girl chasing the butterflies. She had long, red hair that bounced from one side to another as she ran with the butterflies. It was Ophelia. Her giggles were the only sound on this cliff, but it was enough to make me feel better.

I heard the flapping of winds over me. I raised my head upwards and saw a group of seagulls flying over my head. Their sound felt like a choking call but it was beautiful in its own way.

I looked back at Ophelia who was sitting under a tree. She had her leather journal on her lap and she was writing something.

A poem, maybe.

The sky changed colors again. The pink was turning into a sad violet as the oranges transformed into a serenading blue. The dusk had left as the twilight arrived.

I loved that movie, though. My mum forced me to watch it but team Edwards always.

"Xavier? Xavier, are you alright? You're grunting and smiling at the same time. Are you high or something?"

And Ophelia had to come now. When I was enjoying myself in a reality I'd created for myself. I opened my eyes and saw her sitting next to me on the couch. Her eyebrows were furrowed as her worried eyes looked at me.

"I a- Ouch, I'm fine. Did you get the medicine?"

She kept looking at me intently. It felt like she was studying me. Trying to remember my face or something. Her eyes kept flickering as she still didn't move.

"Ophelia, did you hear me? Is everything alright? Did s-something happen?"

She snapped out of it after I called her out. She got up and brought the medicine that she left on the table. Even as she walked, she didn't seem like she was here. She felt far away.

Almost distant. Like the Ophelia in my imagination.

I didn't know what happened. But I could tell that something was wrong. My stomach had given me a break or something. It had stopped aching as violently as it was before. But I still didn't feel good.

My gut felt weird.

And it wasn't because of the pain.

I ignored that feeling and focused on Ophelia. She was getting a few pills from the bottle that she held in her. It had a blue cap and a white body. Typical medicine colors.

"Here, the nurse told me to give you three of these. Hold it, I'll get you some water."

Even when she spoke, she seemed so distracted. She was looking at me but she wasn't looking at me. She was here but she wasn't.

I took the pills in my hand as I saw her retreating figure. She went into the kitchen to get some water. She brought back an uncapped bottle of water.

"Here, drink up."

I popped the three pills into my mouth and swallowed them with a sip of water. I coughed as one pill got stuck in my throat. I wasn't used to taking so many pills at once. I felt the pill that got stuck, it was almost choking me. I tried drinking the water as my coughs finally got Ophelia's attention.

"XAVIER!? Did you have to take all three pills at once? God, you're an idiot. Here, drink some water.", she said as she patted my back.

I calmed down after a minute or two, but I was pretty sure my face was red. At least, this snapped Ophelia out of whatever she was worried about.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, as she advised me not to speak anything for a few minutes. The bitter aftertaste of the medicine lingered, like a ghost in its past.

I looked at the time it was fifteen minutes past 4 p.m. My mum must be worried so would Lia's parents.

"What are you telling your parents?"

She looked at me with her forehead wrinkled and her pupils focused. After a minute of thinking, she had a satisfied look on her face.

With a pleased smile, she said, "Sleepover at a friend."

She was so pleased with herself for this? Anyone could've come up with this excuse.

God, this woman was complicated.

"What about you? What are you telling your mum?"

I hadn't given much thought to it until now. I could just say I had an extra shift. But I never went to work without coming home first. I never went to parties either. I thought for a minute and came up with an excuse. Sure, it had many loopholes, but I didn't have any other choice.

After all, I created this mess, didn't I?

"Was helping you with English. It got late so I had to directly go for my shift and then you dragged me to a party and we fell asleep there."

She raised her eyebrows as her nostrils flared. She had a really displeased look on her face. What was wrong with my excuse. I mean, I know it wasn't concrete or anything but, it would work.

My mum wasn't the doubting kind.

"You blamed the whole thing on me, Xavier."

Oh, that.

"No, I didn't blame it on you. I just included you. Besides, my mum worships you. So you're clear."

She raised her eyebrow and still kept staring at me.

"That doesn't make it any better, Xavier."

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled sheepishly. It wasn't as bad as Ophelia made it out to be. At least, we were safe.

"Anyway, go get some sleep. The nurse told me that these pills make you drowsy. If you don't sleep, you're bound to get a headache."

I nodded and got off the couch. The pain had somehow, stopped completely. The painkillers had done their magic. I just hope that sleep would do its magic too.

I walked to the bed and laid down. It was a queen-sized bed, so I had enough place to roll around. I got into the covers and closed my eyes. I tried imagining the picture I was dreaming about while waiting for Ophelia to get the pills.

I couldn't get that picture in my head again. I tried to focus more, but I just couldn't. It felt like I was chasing it, and the harder I ran, the faster it got away. I decided to try once more, but I relaxed after I felt a hand on my forehead.

The bed dipped as I smiled to myself. I guess I don't need to imagine anymore. I have a real paradise, right next to me.

And we may be hell for each other, but the heaven we create together is enough to silence the hell.

I went back to sleep, but not before feeling the slight brush of Ophelia's lips on my forehead.

"Those girls in the dining hall better understand I don't share what's mine."