CHAPTER 23

XAVIER'S POV

God, she was an angel. Her hair, formed a bright halo around her head as she gave the sweetest of smiles. I saw the hurt flash in her eyes from my peripheral vision as she walked away.

I felt like a monster.

As if, I wasn't already one.

I still couldn't believe, she tried to approach me. After all the harsh words I threw at her.

I stuffed my face in my hands as I rubbed my eyes. A party, huh?

I had an afternoon shift at the restaurant and my mum was home today. So the twins were taken care of.

I guess, I didn't have any excuses left, did I?

The rest of the day at school was the same; boring and barely make it through some classes.

Like geography. I wonder why the teachers expected students to have the whole world map printed in their minds.

I mean, GPS exists for a reason, people!

The walk back home was quiet. The streets weren't empty, but my mind was.

Some days, the voices in my head roared for dominance;

And some days, they were dead silent.

I couldn't decide which was worse.

I plugged in my earphones so that the silence wouldn't deafen me but the sense of emptiness that had found a home withing me didn't leave.

I took out my keys and unlocked the door to my house. I heard the lively laughter of the twins as my mum braided their hair.

This was the sound I feared I would miss once I'm gone.

"Xavier, honey! Is that you?"

My mum had been through hell but she made it out alive. With a dead abusive husband, a daughter who ran away, and a murderer as a son, she still smiled at the end of the day.

I guess I wasn't strong like her.

I walked into her room and saw her combing the twin's hair. Her face shone bright with a sense of hope, people wished they had.

"Hey, ma! I'm back. I have an afternoon shift at the restaurant today and then I'm accompanying Ophelia to a party tonight. So I'll be home a little late."

Her face broke out with a smile that reached her ears.

"A party! I mean, that's great. You rarely go out nowadays. Who's hosting it, again?"

I didn't clearly remember who's part it was;

was it Miranda?

or Megan?

No, wait. I think it was Michelle.

"A friend of Ophelia's. I think her name's Michelle."

"Xavy, Xavy, how do these pigtails look?"

Olivia twirled around, trying to show me her hair that mum had just done for her. I picked her up and kissed her forehead.

"You look beautiful, Liv. You look like a princess. A princess that would live forever and forever."

She hugged me back tightly and hid her face in my neck. I quickly placed her down. I looked back at mum and saw her brushing Hazel's hair.

"Hey Hazel, how was your day?"

Hazel was always the quiet one. I saw a glimpse of myself in her.

A glimpse I wish I could erase.

"My day was good Xavy! Mommy let us eat some ice cream after breakfast."

"That's amazing, Haze; Ma, I'll head to the restaurant now. Don't wait up for me."

She smiled and nodded. I quickly ran into my room and grabbed a pair of khaki shorts and a white button-up shirt. I could change in the restaurant after I was done with my shift.

I reached the restaurant saw it was mostly empty. Only two booths were occupied. One was taken by a couple on a date and in the other one, a man dressed formally sat silently.

He looked around, probably observing his surroundings. He had a weird vibe. Even though he looked like any other businessman who had come for lunch, he could grab people's attention with one look.

His pitch-black eyes were alluring.

Not in a good way.

I got behind the counter and tied the apron around my waist and grabbed my notepad.

"Excuse me, Sir. Are you ready to order?"

He raised his head and gave me a smile that sent chills down my spine. His teeth with her pearl white. With his long, sharp nose and dark hair, he could almost be mistaken for Lucifer.

"Yes, I would have one plate of cheddar and spring onion risotto with balsamic tomatoes along with one glass of Roero Arneis."

His voice was dark. There was no other way to describe it. It had a velvet-like smoothness but it was a softness that would cut you.

"Yes sir. Your order will be served in 15 minutes or so."

I walked back to the counter and handed the order to the chef. Afternoon shifts were worse than the others. I worked, so I could shut down the voices in my head by distracting myself. But, the afternoons were usually quiet. Not many customers came in.

So I was left alone in my head.

Thinking was hard. If I unlocked one door, then the demons in the others would bang on the doors until I didn't set them free.

And once I did, I lost myself.

To them.

"Here you go, kiddo!" Luca, our chef, handed me the risotto.

Luca was a friend of my dad's. He often came to our house when I was younger.

But after that night, we stopped seeing him completely. My mum and he finally got back in touch two years ago. He was the one who offered me a job here.

I went to the wine cabinet and searched for the bottle he had ordered. Once I found it, I walked up to his table. But he wasn't at his seat. I looked around but all the booths were empty except one.

I couldn't find him anywhere.

He was gone.

And on his table, I found a 100 dollar bill along with a note that said, "Heaven's waiting."