"What can be a good way to start a conversation with him?"
This is what I asked myself as I stood at a souvenir shop in the village.
Yesterday, I talked to a person who came from the same world as me and tried to help him get out of the slump he is having as a craftsman.
I was warned again and again to not involve my feelings or ideology when interacting with the people here. But in my callous disobedience, I ended up doing more harm than help.
"Kurumi… Kurumi!"
"…"
The person I wanted to help to regain his passion ended up giving it up and the person who was supposed to look after me and help me reprimanded me and now, wouldn't even face me.
"Oi! You dumb face."
"H-huh?"
While I was knocking at the door of the western temple where she is staying at that day, someone called me derisively which made me look around.
"Down here, moron!"
"Ah."
I looked down and saw that it was a six-tailed fox with a man's voice. It looked at me as if it was disappointed or something.
"Kurumi-kun told me that if you don't stop knocking on her shrine's door, I'm free to roast you with fox fire."
"W-Wait! I'm here to ask for her help with-"
"Deal with it by yourself, you disobedient moron!"
From inside the shrine, I heard Kurumi's muffled shout that answered my incomplete statement.
"B-but…"
"Your disregard for my orders created this problem! If you can't handle the consequences, you should always heed warnings! Now get away before I decide to burn you to ashes myself!"
"No! I will-"
As soon as I gave a reply that didn't align with what she wanted to hear, the doors of the temple opened and from the seemingly bottomless darkness inside of the building, several fox fire balls flew out all homing in at where I was standing.
"Get away! Get away before I turn you into a pile of ash!"
"Argh! Okay! Okay!"
In the end, I was unable to get her help for what I was planning to do.
"And… what happened next?"
"Kurumi… threw fox fires at me in order to shoo me away."
"I see…"
With no other choice, I went to the main temple to seek Kyo-san's help. It was good that I caught him just after the early morning stretches that he does in order to keep his zombified body in tip-top shape.
"Well, Inari-sama is handling the tail-awarding ceremony today for the young fox spirits and wouldn't be leaving the temple… I'll go and inform her about what happened and ask if I can join in your walk on behalf of master Ku."
"Mm. Thanks a lot, Kyo-san."
I went down to the village to help out the residents for a moment and even had an early lunch with some of the men who are finishing up the wooden tower that will be burned during the height of the festival.
"Umm… this is…"
"Too much? Sorry, I'm used to handing out servings to Furuya folk. As you may not know, we really have quite an appetite since Inari-sama spoils us with bountiful harvests."
The auntie who was serving the food was about to reach out for my rice bowl when I decided to just take it and thank her for the consideration she gave.
At first, I thought that I can't finish all of the rice in the bowl, but with the help of a platter of delicious grilled boar meat and some fried tofu, I finished up every grain albeit making my stomach ache for a while.
"Huh… Can you walk? We can just borrow a horse in here if your tummy is heavy like that."
"Please… Let's walk. I need to churn up all of the food in here…"
We walked to the flower boutique where I ordered for several bouquets of flowers and to the local wood cutter where I arranged for a log of Japanese pine wood. With me carrying the flowers and Kyo-san carrying the heavy log over his shoulder like it is nothing special, we set forth to visit the old man.
"What are all of these for?"
"I… I wanted to ask Kensuke-jii to make a sculpture for me. One that can also act as a flower vase."
"Wait. Didn't he say that he already retired from being a craftsman?"
Hearing that reminded me of the reason why I am doing all of this. This is my fault. If I genuinely cared about his concern and didn't insert my emotions and values into my advice, he will not become like this.
"He did… So, I was hoping that if I am the one who makes this request, he'll do it and rediscover his love for his passion."
"…Do you… feel guilty?"
"Yes…"
There's no reason to mince my words. I do feel guilty about being the person who killed his passion by being too stupid in my choice of words and implied meanings.
"I can only imagine what it feels like to have a part of you die…"
"Hey, are you seriously saying those words to a Kyonshi like me? Do you want a whooping, you punk?"
"A-Ah… No. I'm sorry."
"Hehe… calm down, I'm just kidding."
Thinking back about it, why did I even spout those words? Is it because this place's values and my own values are in total contrast with each other? Is it because I can't fathom the idea of living under the absolute rule of someone?
When did I become this paranoid about freedom and liberty?
I don't know.
"Hey, kiddo."
"Y-yes?"
"Since you look like you have something in your mind, want to hear some stories that this Kyonshi has to give?"
After I digested what he said, I took the offer and he started narrating a story that seemed familiar to me.
"30 or so years ago, there was a young man who was so strong that his peers and those that he serves and protects called him a "War god of Reincarnation". Someone who will keep on hunting his enemies from death to rebirth and death again. To those that he protects, he is an indispensable person, someone that they can rely on when they need peace in their lives. To those that he fights, he is a demon. A being so ridiculously powerful that they fear inciting his wrath."
"He sounds like he is someone very dependable."
"This man served a lord who is also renown for his martial ability. But as his lord aged, he was told to follow a certain noble family who can make use of his abilities. He was then left to lead the defense of their land all by himself. He made their neighbors fear them and even toppled one that tried to undermine them through cheap tricks. But what he can defend against from the outside, he cannot do from the inside."
"…"
"He was fooled by the family he is serving. He led his army to a reported battlefield where there was supposedly some fighting, but after they arrived and saw the land free of any trace of a battle, he knew that he was tricked and rushed back to his home where he saw his wife and sister-in-law dead along with a letter that made that family's betrayal a fact."
"Is this story real?"
"Yes. This is a story of a friend that I had before I died and became a Kyonshi."
I am not that familiar with the story, but tracing the lines, I knew that I have enough reason to ask my guess.
"Is that friend's name… Ishigawa Gojo?"
"…"
Kyo-san stopped walking when I said that name and looked at me with his seemingly soulless eyes that made it apparent that he has long died.
"Kyo-san?"
"How is… Gojo now?"
"He is well as far as I know. He wears female clothes and make-up during the day as a sign of repentance towards his dead wife… Some people still mock him for it, but those that knows about the reason deeply respects him for it."
Kyo-san lowered the pine log from his shoulder and looked down as if he didn't want me to see his face.
"After all this time… he still can't forgive himself."
"What was that, Kyo-san?"
"Gojo… you stupid fool. I already warned you, but you really are too gullible back then to doubt other people…"
I can feel that he wanted to cry. But with his zombified body, no tears were shed, and he can't even sniffle as his nose no longer breathes.
"Who are you and what is your relationship with Ishigawa-dono?"
"…I am among the other noble soldiers of Shinka during his generation. Even though I am not as good as him, it was still enough for me to become a captain of Lord Kenji's guards and a patrol leader on our border with the Satou clan."
"…"
"He was a close friend of mine when we are still studying to become military officers but after he was given an important position and won many great battles and skirmishes, we drifted apart to the point that he even forgot about who I am when I attended his engagement with Lady Ishigawa Maya. I was supposed to be infuriated, but I can only blame myself for being too mediocre that it created such a gap."
"How did you end up in here when you're a soldier in Shinka?"
When I asked that, Kyo-san paused before sighing and answering me.
"After the Ishigawa clan's betrayal and Gojo's promise of slaughtering them, I decided to resign from my post in order to hunt the Ishigawa clan's members down in my own way. Military rules and the wishes of Kusanagi Kenji-sama for the soldiery to not seek them anymore hinders that so I left the army and went with my own journey of revenge. All of it ended when I met the main perpetrators when they are about to travel towards Hitachi in order to seek the protection of the Emperor. I slaughtered them, sparing only the women and children who all left in a hurry after seeing me drenched in the blood of all who stood against me."
"Wait, Ishigawa-dono had his fiancé and her sister die that night… what was your reason for avenging them then?"
"Because my name is Kusanagi Kyoshiro… I am a cousin of Kenji and Kyoko's uncle that she never met."
That revelation shocked me. To think that a guy like him can be found in here of all places… It was really something that I didn't expect.
"I was able to enact the revenge that Gojo cannot and can no longer do by himself. But it also left me with a myriad of injuries that assured my death. Still, I was too prideful to admit that those scum were the ones responsible for my death so while gritting my teeth and patching up my wounds to stop them from bleeding, I walked through the roads of Kanae and Mikoto province until I arrived here at the forest of Mori where the six-tailed foxes asked me if I wanted to be cremated after I lose my life… but as I said, I don't want to give my enemies any credit."
"So… what did you do?"
"I mustered the last remaining strength in my body and shouted… "I don't want to die!" and just like that, Inari-sama appeared and offered this form to me… to be a Kyonshi who will no longer age or die. I accepted it and in return, I promised to serve her for all eternity."
"Is that also the reason why you call Kurumi as master Ku?"
"Yeah. Kurumi's lineage came from the union of high-ranking fox spirits and humans. They are half-blood kitsune who are the only connection of humanity to the true spiritual form of Inari-sama that she lets no one to see save for the other fox spirits."
"I see…"
Being told all of these things, I had a newfound respect for everyone in here and was able to realign myself to understand their values more.
"It's only when you live this long can you truly respect the feeling of being in peace."
We went on with our walk and once we passed over the slope to the old man's hill, Kyo-san stopped and spoke some words that made me feel uncomfortable.
"Kid… it seems like the flowers you brought has some purpose after all."
"Huh?"
We continued to walk until we reached the hill and I saw lots of fox spirits gathered around the house.
"Kyo…"
"Master Ku… I didn't expect it to happen so early."
I was surprised to see Kurumi opening the door of the house as Kyo-san lowered the log and entered the hut.
"You… no, Inari-sama told me to not do it… Just come in with those flowers."
Kurumi seemed to be still mad at me but after she muttered some words, she let me in, and I knew what was happening.
"Rest in peace, you great and kind young man…"
"Rest in peace, my dear friend."
Inari-sama and Kyo was kneeling beside the old man's bed and wishing him peace.
Old man Kensuke… is dead.
"How… how… is this my-"
"It's not your fault, Iwasawa-kun… Kensuke died in his sleep peacefully. Perhaps the overhanging sadness and guilt of not feeling sufficient with his passion kept him up all this time."
"But that-"
"That's enough already…"
"Kurumi…"
"That's enough from you, Iwasawa…"
She took the bouquet of flowers from my hand and softly placed it over the old man's corpse that is solemnly resting on his bed. She took his pale and cold hands to tuck the flowers under it.
"Inari-sama… can I… do his Parting ceremony?"
"…You may. I give you the permission to return Kensuke back to the ground."
"Thank you, Inari-sama."
The foxes around us scurried out of the hut as maple leaves gathered around Kurumi and her casual kimono changed into her formal shrine maiden outfit and on her hand was a staff whose end has a blue fox fire.
"Let us take our leave and watch from outside… The Parting ceremony is best done in private."
"You heard Inari-sama, kid. Let's go."
I wordlessly followed the fox goddess and the zombie towards the door of the hut and from there, watched as Kurumi mustered her power to show her kitsune form.
Her golden-yellow colored tail and ears appeared and her previously chestnut brown hair became the same color as the fur on her appendages.
"From the day of your arrival from Samsara until the dust has settled from your departing, the world has casted its eyes upon you…"
She began to cast a ritual spell as fox fires appeared on her back in a circular pattern.
"As you dwelt with your kind and left an imprint in their memories and lives, the world and its inhabitants shall remember you for a lifetime and an eternity more…"
The fire from her back flew towards the bed as it wrapped around the sheets and the blankets around the old man's body. The cloths were not burned but the fire slowly yet orderly consumed the corpse, turning it into fine ash.
"Farewell, dear friend… dear follower… dear husband… and dear father…"
"Dear father?"
I asked up and Kyo-san answered me cordially.
"His daughter… is no longer here."
"-!"
I was about to raise a question, but I withheld it to let her finish her words.
"May we meet again as the wheel of life revolves… reunite with your family that has passed through the Sanzu river."
With those last words, Kurumi raised the staff and the entire hut burned in a single instant, turning it into ash without a trace.
"Thank you for everything… Father."
Without any of the usual funeral proceedings or arrangements, it was over. The old man and all that he owned in this world was returned to earth. Leaving nothing but a plot of land where his hut once stood and memories that stayed in all of our minds and hearts.
"Excellent work, Kurumi… Now, for the Parting ceremony of little Tohka…"
As Kurumi emerged from the cloud of ashes where she performed the ritual, Inari-sama approached her and touched her forehead and left chest.
"I free you from your soul vessel, little one. Join your father and mother in the afterlife until fate calls upon all of your rebirths… May we one day meet again."
Kurumi's eyes glowed bluish as some spirit-like form came out of her back, shaped like a young woman who died too early in her life.
"Thank you very much, Inari-sama, Kurumi-sama and Kyo-sama… Thank you… for letting me see my father until his last days…"
The spirit spoke as she gave each of them a smile which they all returned kindly.
"Tohka-chan…"
"What is it, Kurumi-sama?"
"Let's meet again once you come back. I promise to perfect your dango recipe by then."
Hearing this, the spirit giggled and replied before she slowly turned into fine particles of light.
"I promise to come back and meet you again. By that time, you'd probably look more mature so teach me how to become a fine lady just like how I taught you in this life."
"Mm! I promise to do it!"
With a peaceful expression on both of their faces, the spirit disappeared, and we were left on that hill, just us four.
"Inari-sama… I want to return to main temple for just today."
"…Understood. I'll take you back then."
Kurumi and Inari-sama disappeared, probably went back to the temple by teleporting. That left me with Kyo-san along with some questions.
"Is that… his daughter?"
"Yes… That is Tohka, Kensuke and Tome's daughter."
"How did her spirit end up inside Kurumi?"
"I believe that you already know that she was married to a young man from the village, right?"
"Yes, why do you ask?"
"That young man… was the last person who attempted to escape from Furuya. I know about this because I was the one who led the six-tailed foxes in tracking them down when we learned that he was trying to find a way out of the forest. He tried to convince his wife to leave with him and their son, but knowing well that she cannot meet her father anymore after they leave, she adamantly refused until his patience ran out and he decided to incapacitate both of them and run away while carrying the two."
"Then… how did she end up dying?"
"During our hunt, some of the foxes were fooled after he used odorous lures to confuse their sense of smell. He also set up traps and obstacles as we chased him deeper and deeper into the forest. However, he took the wrong turn at one trail and ended up falling down a shallow cliff along with his family members."
"…"
"This is when Tohka awoke and found herself and her son surrounded by flesh-eating curses who was more than willing to partake in an easy catch. Some of the foxes saw them and defended the two desperately, holding the monsters back even though it wasn't the reason why they were there. As for her husband, he stood up and after seeing the two in a seemingly sure-death situation, ran away to save his own life."
"That's…"
"I arrived just before the pack of blood-thirsty curses were about to overwhelm the foxes and proceeded to slaughter them. But then, I remembered the reason why her husband decided to use that specific night to escape and why the curses was very savage… I then looked around and saw her stained with a monstrous amount of negative karma. Worst of all, I sensed that her son is no longer alive, triggering her transformation into a monster with a physical form…"
"What… happened next?"
"…While gritting my teeth and cursing my circumstance, I took off the control charm on my forehead and released all of my innate power. I apologized to Tome and Kensuke… and with one quick slash… ended the life of Tohka who turned into a monster…"
"…"
Hearing that story, I now understood why Kensuke-jii's daughter didn't show up earlier nor did Inari-sama or Kurumi waited for her before cremating him.
"What about her husband?"
"…Only Inari-sama knows."
"What… does that mean?"
"Inari-sama has her eyes in each and every place in the Sanctuary. Seeing all that has transpired, I believe that it was her who dealt with that rebellious man since the patch of land where he died became the old dead land in the Sanctuary. A place deep in the forest that she has cursed to death."
Being told that thing, I can't help but start to fear the fox goddess more but respect her as well.
"When the hunt was finished and the wounded foxes are recovering from the battle, Kurumi came to the inner shrine of the main temple and begged to Inari-sama for seven whole days to let Tohka's spirit to inhabit her. Inari-sama, at first, flat out rejected her request, but as she continued to see Kurumi bowing all day for that entire week for such a seemingly simple reason, she decided to allow it and made Tohka's spirit to dwell inside a small vessel in Kurumi's body."
"Why?"
"Tohka and Master Ku are childhood friends. It was through Tohka did she learn how to be more human and even some of her childish sides came from her. She was more like a sister to her than a friend and even though they didn't age in the same pace, as Tohka became a married woman while Master Ku is still quite a child, she understood that it would be unfair for her dear friend to just die so early like that…"
"So, she extended her life by making her friend's spirit to dwell in her body and experience life for a little bit longer…"
"That, and she also wanted to see her father until his last days…"
Now that everything was clear to me, I understood why Kurumi was so angry towards me and why she extremely opposed the idea of making the people here think about getting out.
"Can I enter the main temple, Kyo-san?"
"…For what purpose?"
"I…"
I am an advocate of freedom and I want people to live freely in their own ways… but now, I understood that there are instances where that freedom will end up bringing hurt and harm that we cannot accept."
"I want to apologize to Kurumi… for what I did yesterday."
"Hehe… that's the thing that I want to hear."
He held me on the shoulder and as soon as I blinked, we were inside the temple with Kurumi silently kneeling in front of a newly erected tombstone that was lined with the kitsune figurines that the old man sent to here.
"Do you something to say?"
"…I do."
Even though she was praying, she asked me that question.
"What is it?"
"I'm sorry for disobeying you yesterday… I have no excuses to give. It was my mistake."
"…It is your mistake, but it is not something that you have to carry in your mind anymore."
She stood up and took an incense stick from her sleeve pocket and walked towards me.
"You and us have different values and experiences… you are not wrong, but you are not right either… Let's leave it like that and lay all of it down to rest like them."
She gestured to me to offer the incense to the tombstone that has a simple inscription of "Takahashi family grave".
"…"
I lighted the incense stick, sunk it into the pot and wished them peace before standing up and facing Kurumi again.
"You still have a few days before the festival starts… what else do you want to do?"
As Kurumi asked that, her angry or tired expression was gone and instead, she gave me a subtle smile.
Seeing that, I was able to forgive myself as well and told her what I have in mind.
"I want to meet the Yokai spirits… maybe I can do something to change their opinion about me."