[31] - Hidden Emotions

Chapter 31

"I am the one who insisted on your father to tell me your whereabouts.. don't be mad at him." Jin Young says as he places his cup of coffee on the table.

Jisoo sighs hopelessly, looks around the garden before she looks back at him while leaning back on the chair, "What is the important thing that makes you come so far to this place?"

He leans forward slightly as he clasps his fingers together, and says;

"I know.. you may find that the time is not appropriate, especially in light of all what happened recently, nevertheless, I'm asking you to listen to me to the last."

He says, making Jisoo look at him with suspicion.

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Jennie stands on the balcony where they stood before, gazing into the distance, with her arms crossed as she tightens her grip around her upper arm tensely, extremely annoyed.

It's like her constant struggle with guilt for that small part within her that is jealous of Matthew for the way Jisoo has been affected by his death and her constant feeling that she lost to a dead person wasn't enough, now Jin Young appears from nowhere!

She didn't expect Matthew to be so close to Jisoo, nor did she know when and how they came close to each other and she hates herself because there is a small part of her mind that it's still stuck on it.

She knows what she feels is not right, but she keeps asking herself whether Jisoo is so sad about him because he was a good person or because she was in love with him and now she can never know because he's gone.

How can she compete against a dead person?

Is it considered a competition even? Jisoo doesn't even look at her that way.

And just like that, she remains hanging on a thin rope, burning herself with jealousy as she gritts her teeth. Because it is against her will and what her mind tells her, but again, she can't stand seeing another man standing next to Jisoo or even looking at her, especially if it is Jin Young.

She hates that man with a passion! For many reasons, one being what he made Jisoo go through. And no, she doesn't care that he apologized or is regretful.

She breathes in annoyedly and impatiently, and turns away from the balcony, curiosity eating her, almost suffocating from jealousy, she heads to the stairs and begins to descend cautiously and calmly, wanting to catch a glimpse of them.

She reaches the ground floor and advances towards the back yard where they sit without leaving the house and stops behind the wooden section when she gets there, tilting her head to the side slightly to look at them. She watches as they're still talking and Jin Young looking at Jisoo intently.

Her eyes roll strongly in irritation when she sees him continuing to lean forward while talking to Jisoo who was sitting calmly across from him. She furrows her eyebrows when she suddenly sees him leaning back and sliding his hand into his suit pocket to pull out a small box that fits into the palm of the hand and that which Jennie recognized immediately. He opens it and presents it in front of Jisoo, placing it on the mid table.

It was a ring. A wedding band with a single diamond on center top.

Jennie swallows with difficulty as her face wrinkles to the sudden pain that came down to her chest, she felt heaviness and couldn't stay there any longer, she didn't even look to see Jisoo's reaction, so she just turns around and takes rapid stealthy steps back to the top floor.

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Jisoo arrives upstairs with tired steps, looking at the floor in boredom and holding the box as she heads to the lounge.

She finds Jennie sitting at one of the couches staring down at her lap with wilted expressions. Walking further in, announcing her presence, she attracts Jennie's attention to look up and she stops in her tracks.

"So?" Jennie starts quietly and swallows in preparation, pretending not to know.

"Why did he come here?"

Jisoo sighs and goes to sit on the same sofa as Jennie, but at some distance from her.

"He proposed to me." Jisoo says, holding out her hand in front of her, showing the box, and looking at it with unreadable expressions.

Jennie remains silent as she looks at the box and clenches her jaw in an attempt to remain collected and then looks at Jisoo, and nods defeatedly.

"Oh.." The only thing Jennie managed to get out as she turns her gaze toward her hands as she kept nodding her head slowly.

"That.." Jennie starts again quietly, she doesn't know what to say or how her reaction should be. "That is.. promising. "

She concludes and silence reigns between them, Jisoo continues to stare at the box with a distant look in her eyes, and Jennie tries not to care about that, but she.. can't.

For various thoughts and possibilities..

"I..I will go get the mugs from the park." Jennie declares and gets up on a hurry.

- "I said no."

Surprisingly, Jisoo says when Jennie walks past her, pushing her to stop in her tracks.

Jennie remains still with a slightly open mouth wondering if what she heard and understood was true.

"What?" Jennie asks as she slowly turns to meet Jisoo.

"I rejected his proposal, but he insisted that it stays with me.." She says nonchalantly, playing with the box in her hand. "And to think carefully about it. "

She continues, putting the box aside and leaning back, she looks up at Jennie, who was trying very hard not to smile and to keep her facial expressions straight as she watched her let go of the box with great amusement. However, that does not mean complete victory yet.

"umm.." Jennie begins hesitatingly as she looks down as if she is thinking, feigning a serious expression, she continues looking back at Jisoo, "was it because.. it came at wrong time? I mean.. did you temporarily turn him down or.. Um.."

'Or was it because there's someone else in your heart?'

Jennie leaves her question open because she doesn't know how to formulate her question correctly and appropriately or if she even wants to hear the answer.

"I just didn't." Jisoo responds vaguely, looking down with a distant expression without waiting for Jennie to continue, she wouldn't have continued in the first place.

"I just didn't feel anything.. I didn't feel—"

She pauses, not knowing how to describe the feeling.

Thinking it might be a good idea if they both go to have a walk at the garden, Jennie holds out her hand towards Jisoo, "You didn't feel what?" she pushes on while staring at her intently, wanting to know so badly what Jisoo means.

Jisoo sighs desperately as she looks up at Jennie's hand and follows taking it, "I didn't feel.."

She is cut off when Jennie holds on her hand tightly and pulls her up at a steady speed but forcefully it made her stumble towards Jennie, to find herself standing close to her with her face only a few inches away from her.

And just like that, she felt her heart rate accelerating and starting to pound lively, an overwhelming feeling, sharp and strong, caused her head to spin a little.

This.. she didn't feel this..

As if she was like a water so still and static and Jennie's closeness was the drop that stirred it all.

Yet, she can't fully understand it.. she won't ever let her mind wonder or question why she's feeling that way.

It's definitely normal..

That must have happened to her sudden standing.

"Jisoo, are you okay?" Jennie asks, visibly worried since Jisoo has remained silent, staring at her with lost expressions.

- "Oh yeah..just felt a little bit dizzy." Jisoo replies, adjusting her posture.

"Wait here, I'll get you a glass of water."

She says and turns away from Jisoo, who doesn't realize she was still holding Jennie's hand until Jennie let go when that feeling suddenly disappeared.

-"Wait!" Jisoo says, holding Jennie by the arm and stopping her before moving further away, pushing her to partially turn.

"No need. Just.." She says, lets go of Jennie's arm and turns her head toward the sofa, pointing at it. "Let's just sit here." She then sits back on the sofa and looks up at Jennie expectedly.

"Come." She invites, smiling tenderly and patting the empty space next to her.

Jennie still stares at her worriedly for a few moments before she sighs and answers her request. She walks toward Jisoo and sits next to her in the place she indicated.

"Are you sure? There is nothing to worry about?" Jennie inquires as she looks at Jisoo and strokes her back with relaxing circular motions.

"Yes..I'm sure."

Jisoo assures as she looks at Jennie while pouting adorably and lets herself relax at Jennie's touch. She lets herself be vulnerable and tired in front of her. Allowing herself to be taken care of by Jennie and finds that she's quite liking it, something that's started to happen a lot recently.

Jisoo adjusts her sitting and leans toward Jennie to lie on her side, resting her head on her shoulder.

"Let's just stay like this."

She adds in a subdued tone and Jennie remains still for a while, then wraps her arm around Jisoo and adjusts her head so that it rests on Jisoo's head gently and carefully.

Both enjoying the silence and the peacefulness that overwhelms them whenever they're together.

And as Jennie continuously caresses Jisoo's arm and plants butterfly kisses every now and then on her temple, she can feel her heart swell. Swelling and growing from the overwhelming love she feels for her. It's too much, too evident and too present, to the point it might become uncontrollable.

she almost can touch it.

And what scares her the most, that those feelings don't scare her anymore.

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Jisoo shuts down the laptop. She has finished preparing the last details of her trip, which is only in a few days. She spent the whole noon working and didn't finish till now, after the early evening hours. She breathes comfortably, raises her arms aloft, stretches them along with her body, and then puts aside her laptop and gets up.

It's been almost a week since they came to this house and it was really useful. Quiet and calm days passed with the girls like a sedating and relaxing medicine for the nerves, days that made her feel at peace all the time.

Jisoo walks out of her room and looks around, wondering about the overwhelming calm that surrounds the place, a calm she had noticed a few hours ago.

She goes down the stairs and heads towards the living room, her eyes widening with amazement and joy, the closer she gets the clearer it becomes as she watches the decorations that has been placed for her.

She continues walking until she stops in the middle and looks around, the place was completely decorated with birthday and Christmas decorations very beautifully.

"Woah! good thing you just finished working. Just in time!"

Jisoo turns around when she hears Lisa's voice in her excited tone and sees her coming holding a cake with lit candles on it. She watches with delighted eyes as Lisa goes and puts it on the decorated table in front of her, and she remains standing still, looking in disbelief.

Before she can say anything, Jennie and Chaeyoung come together with cheerful smiles, wearing colorful conical hats, simple fireworks and fake snow sprays in hand.

"What is that?" Jisoo asks in amusement as she watches Jennie and Chaeyoung join Lisa and the three of them gaze at her excitedly.

- "Well..We know that it is already too late." Chaeyoung begins giddily, exchanging looks with Jennie and Lisa, and then looking back at Jisoo. "But that's no excuse to not celebrate it." She finishes, enthusiastically, fluttering her hands in the air and laughing.

"So we decided to celebrate both Christmas and your birthday at the same time." Lisa chims in and shakes her shoulders mischievously.

"Next year we'll celebrate it on time." Jennie promises in a sweet tone as she looks at Jisoo with love, as Jisoo locks eyes with her, her eyes filled with emotions.

- "What are you waiting for? Come on, let's sing for you and blow out the candles!" Lisa says, and gestures for Jisoo to come closer.

Jisoo remains still for a while, taking it all in, she smiles broadly as she approaches and when she does, the girls start singing the Birthday song. Jisoo waits for a little bit, then lowers her head and blows the candles off, and once she does, the place is boomed with warm applause and cheers as Chaeyoung sprays the fake snow to fill the floor and fall on their hair too, followed by the fireworks.

The three of them approach Jisoo while still singing and applauding, causing Jisoo to start to laugh for the first time in a long time. And as shocked and glad they're to see her like that, they all jumped on her to do a tight group hug, letting their laughters fill the air.

Laughters and happy tears that came out sincerely from the heart.

. . . . . . .

"Okay! dinner is ordered." Lisa informs as she sits next to Chaeyoung and Jisoo on the sofa.

- "Why? have you not satiated with cake?" Jennie asks in disbelief as she sits on the opposite sofa.

"Cake is a dessert, so it doesn't count."

Chaeyoung adds assertively, and Jennie rolls her eyes at her as she shakes her head helplessly while Jisoo watches them amusingly and smiles to herself, only to return her attention on TV.

Several minutes of watching the movie silently pass when Jennie declares quietly,

"I'm going out for a little bit of air."

To them she gets up and leaves the living room, and as she does, Jisoo watches her carefully, she then looks back at the movie without really paying any attention to it.

She had noticed this in advance and a while ago, that Jennie, although she behaves normally and goes along with the flow, smiles and laughs, she's masking something else behind that smiling face. It's like whenever she felt joy, she remembered something and that joy fades away right after.. like she couldn't continue being cheerful completely because something else keeps bothering her.

Something Jisoo might have an idea of ​​what it is.

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Jennie stands at the beach on the sand, her arms crossed against her chest, staring at the horizon and at the sea, whose waves were shining as the moonlight reflected on them in the middle of this evening, and her eyes closing whenever a cold breeze blew on them.

It was cold but she didn't mind, it was so relaxing and perfect to take as a consolation for the weight she feels in her chest.

She closes her eyes, takes another deep breath, and stays like this for prolonged moments, while she's thus, she hears the sound of sand and rocks rustling close to her.

She snaps her eyes open and turns towards the sound and sees Jisoo walking slowly with her hands behind her back, looking at her with smiling eyelids. Jennie stares at her momentarily and takes another breath because of her now-renewed distress and looks back at the sea.

"It's beautiful." Jisoo says quietly once she stands next to Jennie, looking at the sea as well.

Jennie remains silent for a while before she simply agrees, "it is."

She says and silence reigns between them. Jisoo takes a look at Jennie, her features hiding a smile, returns to look at the sea and follows knowingly: "In London.. this's the only thing that will remind me of this place."

Jennie doesn't comment at first and just maintains her silence, staring at the sea with semi-grim expressions before lowering her gaze to the ground, feeling a little bit hesitant.

"So.. you really are going." She says in a calm tone lined with an interrogation, raising her gaze to meet Jisoo's. "How long are you staying there then?" Jennie presses on when Jisoo doesn't answer and only smiles at her weakly.

- "If everything went as planned, a month or less." Jisoo answers, and Jennie's features fall even more, frowning as she tries not to show it and only nods understandably as she looks down at the sand.

"And for that.." Jisoo continues with a slightly enthusiastic tone as she brings her hand from behind her back and lifts it in front of Jennie.

"We'll have a small party." She announces, smiling heartly and extending her hand for Jennie to look at, and sees that Jisoo is holding a hand-sized cake with a small candle on it.

-"What?" Jennie asks, wearing an inquisitive expression, seeming lost.

"Since I won't be here when it is time for your birthday, I want to celebrate it now."

Jisoo says in a gentle tone as she looks at Jennie affectionately, whose eyes are glued at the cake and looks like she is about to burst into tears.

'what's new?'

"Just you and me.. I want to dedicate these moments to you only." She adds in a soft tone and Jennie's face puckers even more, feeling deeply touched as she looks at Jisoo with watery eyes.

"I'm afraid anything else I would say and you would start crying." Jisoo remarks playfully feigning scared expression surprising Jennie, causing her to gaze with straight expressions for a moment.

"Well sorry you got stuck with a crybaby." Jennie retorts lightheartedly while pouting, glances at Jisoo, and then lowers her gaze.

Jisoo chuckles in amusement at the comment before she pauses and focuses her gaze at Jennie in contemplation.

"Don't say that.." Jisoo begins with a soothing tone, maintaining her faint smile on her face, attracting Jennie's attention to look up at her.

"Those tears washed my heart."

She says, raising her other free hand, and gently wipes the damp spot under Jennie's eye.

🎶 ▶ Lyn- My Destiny

"Brought it back to life again.."

She pauses for a moment, withdrews her hand and returns it to her side, wearing a serious expression.

"You say I saved you, but in fact .. you saved me."

She confesses as she steps closer to Jennie, staring directly into her eyes.

"I.. I wasn't ok before you, and I won't be after."

She continues, smiling weakly at her while Jennie tries strongly not to cry and to stay still.

"You talk like this and you don't want me to cry!" Jennie complains in a trembling tone as she wipes her eyes from any tears that want to fall, as she takes short gasps, gaining a faint laugh from Jisoo.

- "Yes. Tonight I don't want to see any tears.. There is no crying today."

Jisoo says and keeps staring at Jennie a little, then turns her gaze to the ground and grabs Jennie's wrist as she lowers her body to sit.

"Now.. let's start our little party."

She says while sitting crossed-leg on the sand, tugging and pulling Jennie to make her sit in front of her and also crossed-leg, so close that their knees are touching, both looking at each other; Jisoo looks at Jennie with cheerful expressions while Jennie stares at her with dark eyes and distracted expression.

Jisoo raises her hand, the one holding the piece of cake, and lifts it between them, slides her other hand in her pocket, and takes out a lighter.

"Let's do this before the wind gets high." She says softly while carefully lighting the candle, and looks at it as it flares and glows in front of them, returning the lighter back in her pocket.

"Ok.. at three, we'll blow it off together." Jisoo informs nodding, emphasizing, while Jennie just kept staring at her.

Jisoo closes her eyes, adjusts her grip on the cake a little, parts her lips a little and begins to count.

"One..

two..

three.."

She finishes and stretches her head forward as she prepares her lips to breathe just enough to extinguish the candle.

However, instead of her face welcoming the cold air around them, a warm body took its place and another soft and tender texture landed on her mouth.

Texture she recognized... texture she had experienced before.

She felt stuck, frozen, her mind reading 'error'.

Only to realize that it were none other than Jennie's lips, they chose to welcome her lips instead.

She knew, but she wanted to confirm, so she opened her eyes a little and looked at her through her eyelashes, she took a closer look at this sudden connection, sensing the eagerness behind it, and closed them again.

And.. why did the world become so silent? With only the two of them left.. as if time has stopped with them stuck here.. as if the earth had stopped turning just to witness this moment.

And why were Jennie's lips trembling?

Scared maybe?

Why does she feel scared?

She doesn't want her to feel scared.

She doesn't want her to experience any negative feelings, not in the slightest.

This has to be corrected.

After a slow, soft and long kiss, Jennie pulls her lips away, cautiously followed by her head as she gradually opens her eyes and steals a look at Jisoo and finds her staring at her in a daze. With neutral and sharp gaze.

The more Jisoo stays like that, the more Jennie's panic and nervousness increases, and the more confirmed about her belief she'd become, that she has made a serious mistake, as her mind begins to search for various excuses and reasons to brush off what happened and get out of it in peace.

Blame it on the alcohol?

But she didn't even drink!

Jennie was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, thinking about all sorts of bad things and worst case scenarios, while she was continuing to slowly withdrawing. Yet, before she could move away any further, she felt Jisoo's hand wrapping around the back of her head and pulling her towards her quickly to connect their lips once more in a passionate, deep kiss and with a stronger desire.

She had to finish what Jennie started.

🎶⏸

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To be continued

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Here they go.. finally:)