LOST: CHAPTER 8

Tahimik silang dalawa na nakahiga. Ang kanilang mga likod ay sinusuportahan ng mga pinong buhangin na sa kaputian ay tila balewala ang kadiliman. Nakatanaw silang dalawa sa madilim na kalangitan. Walang buwan, ulap kahit mga bituin. Tanging kadiliman.

After they shared a kiss, the ambience felt awkward. As for Cyan, he don't know what to say or do. And Red seemed dazzling about what just happen. But the two of them wearing a smile on their faces. All they can hear is the song in their hearts and the soft waves that playfully move back and forth beneath.

Cyan gathered all his courage to talk. To open up. He's thinking, it's now or later. "Red..." Pagbasag ni Cyan ng katahimikan. He's still looking at the blank sky.

"Bakit, Cy?" Red turned and look at him intently. Cyan just want to curse for no reason, this guy is gorgeously handsome and whenever he calls him "Cy", it sounded heaven in the ear. Why does this guy always give his heart a sledgehammer effect and all?

Hindi niya ito liningon. His eyes were focus on the great vast sky. Resisting the urge to swoon. "What if...magbalik ang alaala mo?" He asked softly.

"Edi magbalik," sabi nitong tumatawa but Cyan is as quite as calm lake. Natigilan siya at napatingin sa kalangitan. "Well, if my memories were back, I'll be happy." He said casually.

"Ganoon lang?" Cyan look at him curiously.

"Bakit, I don't know the feeling if ever my memories will be back, all I know is the exact feeling being with you this time. And I think, that matters the most."

Cyan wanted to scream for the thought, but choose to stay as passive as possible. His mind dominated his system. He's now flooded with questions and doubts, and it feels like he regretted that he's taking the risk, but also happy. Or the exact feeling is something in between.

He doesn't responded at the trite yet sweet line dropped by Red. "Well, siguro....ewan. I dunno. Depende siguro kung ano ang mga alaalang iyun."

Cyan turned. "What if may nobya ka na? Or baka may asawa ka na? Baka may anak pa? Or engaged ka na? What if---" Red touched Cyan's lips using his very index finger. He look at his eyes, warmth flooded.

"Do I really look a married man to you?" He asked smirking.

Cyan shake his head. "But...what if? You know, you're manly, Red. I doubt if you're into guys too. Before, as I see you at the ship, you look like straight guy, and not like what you used to be in here,"

Umiling ito bigla. "You know what I want to do now?" He said looking to Cyan's eyes, piercing gaze, "Is to see myself in locked in your stare." Cyan did not respond. "Okay, look at this." Red showed his left hand to Cyan. "Have you seen a ring? No, right? So I'm not married."

"Gago," Cyan cursed at the logic followed by a giggle. Red's eyes open widely.

"You really want a kiss from me, do you?" He said smirking.

"Baliw, alam mo ang corny mo!" Natatawang wika niya.

"Well at least naman, nagsasabi ako ng totoo!" Banat naman nito.

"Pero, Red...what if nga?" Cyan asked again, bringing the topic back.

"What if, what?"

"May pamilya ka na? O may nobya? You know, it's not impossible for a manly guy like you,"

"I don't think it's a compliment." He said bitterly.

Cyan laughed. "Of course it is."

"Well, if I have a family...I will ask you to be part of it. If I have a girlfriend, I'll demand a break `cause she let me stay in this island without worrying about me." Nagtawanan sila. "No, I should thank her. Dahil hinayaan niya akong makilala ka sa islang ito."

Cyan blushed for everything he's heard. His pessimistic questions and concerns overflowed, yet all Red did is to throw sweet lines that matters, that made sense.

"Hindi ba magbabago ang tingin mo sa akin kung babalik ang alaala mo?"

Tinignan niya ito bago magsalita. "Why would I do that, Cy?"

He just shrugged. "I dunno, it just came to me. You know, I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what? You should know by now, you shouldn't. I'm here." Paninigurado nito sa kaniya. Nakaramdam siya ng kapanatagan sa mga bagay ni sinasabi nito sa kaniya. Pero may parte parin ng pagkatao niya ang natatakot.

"But you know, Red...the world is not agree with our relationship," he said worried.

"Tayo na pala?" Napatayo si Red sa pagkakahiga. Naguluhan naman so Cyan. "I mean, ang easy mo naman, Cy! Hindi pa nga kita nililigawan tayo na?"

"Gago!" He rolled his eyes. His heart almost skipped a beat, it fells like falling in your dream then you woke up realizing you just fell in a deep sleep.

"Why do you always curse, you just want me to kiss you, eh?" He said smiling from ear to ear.

"Bakit, wala pa bang tayo?" His brows furrowed.

"Wala pa, pero ito...tayong tayo na!" Turo nito sa kaniyang pantalon. Nandilat ang mga mata ni Cyan sa sinabi nito.

"Putangina, baboy!" Napatayo si Cyan at pinalo palo si Red. Tawang tawa naman ito habang umiiwas sa mga palo ni Cyan. "Maniac ka, baliw!"

"Tama na, tama na..." Sabi pa nito habang iniiwas ang sarili sa mga palong ginawa niya habang tawa nang tawa. Nang biglang natumba si Red, kasunod noon ay ang pagkatumba din ni Cyan. Luckily, it's just sand.

Nakapatong si Cyan kay Red. Magkalevel ang mga mukha nila at kapwa nagulat sa nangyari. Nagkatinginan sila at nang biglang may kung anong buhay na bagay ang gumalaw sa may puson ni Cyan. Biglang namula ang mga mukha niya at pinalo ulit nang pinalo si Red.

Tawang tawa naman ito sa ginagawa ni Cyan. At bigla niya itong hinalikan. They both share a passionate kiss. Cyan's knees weakened as if Red is a soul sucker. Natigil ito ng may pumatak na luha sa mga ni Cyan.

"What's wrong, Cy?" Red asked touching Cyan's face.

"W-wala..." Sabi niya sabay iwas ng tingin.

"Tell me, please. I'm worried."

Tinignan ni Cyan si Red sa mga mata. "A-are you sure with what you're doing?"

Hindi agad nakasagot si Red. Hinaplos nito ang mukha niya. "I-I don't know what you mean with that, Cy."

"N-nothing. I want to sleep now."

Magkahawak kamay nilang binagtas ang madilim na gubat. Si Red ang may hawak na dahon ng niyog na nagliliyab para bigyan sila ng ilaw para makarating sa tree house ng ligtas. Tahimik lang silang dalawang naglalakad. Wala ding niisa sa kanila ang nag bukas ng paksa.

Nasasaktan siya. Red is not answering his questions. All he want is a fix answer. Para mapanatag ang loob niya. He's asking all of his courage but Red is making fun of it. Ayaw niyang umasa sa wala. And asking is the best way to know, but he's disappointed because his heart is worried not getting an answer.

What's wrong? His worries are flooding him, overflowing. What if's gone wild. And now it gives him heartache.

Nasa tree house na sila. Nakahiga na si Cyan habang si Red naman ay sinusuklay suklay ang buhok niya. Sa madilim na kwartong iyun, tumutulo ang luha niya. Pinipilit niya ang sariling hindi makagawa ng ingay anupa't ayaw niyang marinig ito ni Red.

He's crying because he's not sure if Red felt the same way as he did. Red said he wanted him to be his boyfriend, but to Cyan, it wasn't enough. Red always giving him sweet punch lines and swoon him to death just by kissing, but it wasn't enough. Red hasn't told him the magic word.

And he's doubting if Red do love him. He's thinking Red just want someone to satisfy his needs while waiting for response in their SOS. And now, he can't sleep for another heartbreaking thought.

"Cy?" Red called him. Cyan did not respond even a turn. He pretended sleeping. "Cy, gising ka pa ba?" He said while shaking Cy a bit. But Cyan manage not to move, he even skipped a breathe just to make it sound real.

"About your question earlier," matagal bago nagsalita si Red. Napabuga ito ng hangin. "Whether I am sure with what I'm doing or not, and the questions you asked about us, I'm not really sure what you mean with that..." Inaabangan niya ang bawat salitang lumalabas sa mga labi into, but at the same time, parang ayaw niyang marinig iyun. "I won't say any pretty words....but I need you," sabi nito sabay halik sa buhok niya.

Biglang natuwa ang puso niya sa mga sinabi nito. This guy must be not good in expressing through words but good in action. Aarte pa ba siya?

Naramdaman niyang tumabi ito sa kaniya. Pinulupot nito ang mga braso sa beywang niya at idinikit ang katawan sa katawan niya. Itinago't siniksik nito ang mukha sa may buhok niya ang that made him sleep with a smile in his face and warmth in his heart.