Chapter 96:
The Beginnings of Chaos
"So..." Nami began. "Do you all know which way you're going?"
"Yohoho, Nami-san," Brook bowed. "If you would like, I would be honored to escort you and your husband toward Moria's lair. It is likely that he keeps his stolen wealth close by."
"Thank you, Brook," Nami accepted. "That would be a lovely wedding gift."
"Ah," the skeleton continued. "While we're waiting to start, would you mind showing me-"
"Like Hell!" Luffy and Nami roared in tandem.
"Never you mind," Brook all but squeaked. "Shall we get going, then? Moria should be this way." The undead musician turned and gestured toward a staircase on the far side of the room.
"Hey, Nami!" Amy called before everyone could go their separate ways. "If you find Grace and Pinky, you can wake them up by insulting their obsessions. That worked on the morons he caught before."
"Good to know!"
The crew spilt up. Luffy, Nami, and Sanji followed Brook, Amy and Gin taking the stairs to the immediate left of the former group's while Merry led Usopp up the ones on the right. Franky decided he and Chopper were too super for stairs or doors and punched a hole in one of the adjacent walls. Zoro started walking toward the broken outer door, turned toward a set of stairs on the other side of the room, jumped up onto the chandelier and the limp bear rug zombie thereupon, walked in a good ten circles up there, dropped onto the dining table, started walking toward the outer door once more, and cut an opening out of the wall next to it. Robin chose to follow without comment, wanting to see where they would go with Zoro's sense of direction.
Usopp and Merry
"Would you slow down, Merry?" Usopp all but demanded. "My poor old heart can't take much more of this."
"You're 17, Uncle Usopp," Merry laughed, swinging her hammer idly as she skipped along a corridor. "Your heart is fine! I should know, I got the best aspects of everyone on the crew that could be stuffed inside this body, and your blood pressure was one of them! You've probably got the strongest heart out of the crew, literally speaking."
Usopp didn't seem comforted by that remark. Every now and then, a Surprise Zombie would jump out at the pair, giving Usopp a fright until the thing would attack Merry, forcing him to get over his fear in the wake of anger. The little klabautermann could only get a few whacks in on each zombie before Usopp's expert aim ended each of their unlives.
"Look, Uncle Usopp!" Merry laughed, smacking a suit of armor apart with a loud clang. "We're making plenty of progress!"
"Yeah," Usopp muttered to himself. "Yeah! None of these zombies are any challenge alone! We'll be fine!"
Unfortunately, as many of you readers know, there are just some things one shouldn't say, lest Fate decide it was time to affirm who was boss.
"Horo-horo-horo-horo!" The ominous laughter echoed through the open room the duo found themselves standing in. "How wonderful! One of the cute little pirates that I wanted has wandered into my part of the castle! Horo-horo-horo-horo!"
"W-Who are you?" Usopp demanded, spinning around with Kabuto primed to fire at a moment's notice. Merry, too, fell into a defensive stance, shuffling backwards until she and the sniper were back-to-back. "Sh-Show yourself!"
"Over here, Long-Nose." Usopp and Merry spun around, the former aiming his Kabuto at the floating form of Perona. She was without her body, her soul floating freely three feet in the air and Kumashi standing behind her. Usopp narrowed his eyes and fired a Lead Star at the woman, but she didn't so much as flinch when the projectile passed through her.
"Ahhh!" Usopp screamed. "Ghost!"
"So cool!" Merry gasped. "Hey, do you wanna join our crew?!"
"Merry!"
"Horo-horo-horo-horo!" the hollow-woman laughed before her smile twisted and her voice took on a predatory tone. "No, I don't think so, little girl, but you'll be joining me! Negative Hollow!"
Gin and Amy
Gin whistled quietly, his old East Blue tune echoing through the corridors as he and Amy walked along. Neither said anything, content with the relative silence between them for the moment. They continued winding through the manor, but no zombies presented themselves. Gin's song slowed to an end, leaving them in silence.
"...Is it just me," Gin began, "or does it seem like Zoro's started acting like a father to Coby?"
"That depends," Amy responded. "Has Robin become something of a mother to Chopper? She's become really protective of him."
"Hmm," Gin hummed, considering the idea. Music began to drift through the air. The Electric Devil and the Weightless Woman turned to look at each other, their conversation all but forgotten.
"Shall we?" he asked.
"We shall." she nodded. With no more spoken agreement, the two turned toward where the music, some slow tune from the South Blue, was coming from. The music lead them toward the leftmost part of the manor. The sadistic duo paused outside of a pair of double doors.
"100 Beris says we find Coby's and Grace's zombies inside," Gin challenged. "Another 100 if they're dancing."
"With how dense Pinky is, there's no way anything has changed since we last saw them. I bet Luffy and Nami ended up taking a detour."
"Time to put your money where your mouth is." Gin smirked, pushing the door open as quietly as the creepy squeaking would allow so as to not disturb whoever was inside. The duo poked their heads through as soon as the crack was wide enough, allowing them to see.
The room appeared to be an expansive ballroom decorated for a festive atmosphere. Streamers of all colors were draped from the ceiling and there were several balloons reading "CONGRATULATIONS!" around the room interspersed with round tables. A buffet sat on a long, rectangular table along the far left wall, some of the dishes still visibly steaming and a white cake at the center of it all. In all likelihood, the room was probably that way in preparation for a reception after Absalom's forceful marriage to Nami before Luffy stepped in. There was a large DJ setup on the far side of the room from the doors, but it was unmanned since most of the zombies were likely to have been called away. Instead, the music originated from an old phonograph set on a chair, a wide record spinning lazily in the center.
Mirroring the record were the pair of zombies in the center of the dance floor. The first was a young, male zombie with brown hair, a nice suit, three implanted horns, and Coby's crossed swords strapped to his back. The second, who stood half-a-head shorter, was a colorful young woman in casual wear which clashed with her partner's suit and had Grace's pallet strapped to her waist, though neither seemed to mind as they were too focused on each other. The two slowly spun together in time with the music, the taller male leading. Seeing this, Gin and Amy backed out of the doorway.
"Here's your money," Amy sighed, passing the male a couple of coins. "Damn it. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but now we'll have to put up with them getting mushy, and that is nothing I want to see my little sister doing. What's happened since we saw them in the graveyard?"
"I don't know," Gin whispered. "I didn't know Coby could dance, either. That's really impressive. But I don't think their zombies prove anything. It could be that zombies just don't have as many inhibitions as the living, if they have any at all."
"I think the skeleton said something about the zombies retaining muscle memories from when they were alive," Amy commented, "so it might be that the body with Pinky's shadow knew how to dance. But that's not the point. We should come up with a plan before we attack."
"I'll leave that up to you, Ms. Ex-Assassin," Gin smirked. "I think I'll watch these two dance for a while. Maybe you could join me for a song or two?" He winked.
"You flirt!" Amy smiled, smacking the lightning-man in the arm. "You just gave me the perfect plan on how to get close to them. Luckily, I've infiltrated a few balls while working for Baroque Works. Now shut up, take my hand, and follow my lead."
Franky and Chopper
"Ow!" Franky yelled as he punched through yet another wall, collapsing it on the suit of armor on the other side. The armor, however, did not move like the last one had. Chopper rode on his shoulders, cheering the cyborg on. "I'm feelin' super!"
"Stop wrecking the manor!" half a dozen surprise painting zombies shouted, accidentally giving themselves away. Franky smirked, pulling out the nunchucks he'd strapped to his back. The zombies gulped.
"You're so strong, Franky!" Chopper awed with stars in his eyes as the mechanized human shoved salt down the throat of the last zombie.
"Please," Franky scoffed, securing the nunchucks on his back. "These things are nothing for a super guy like me! I wonder if this place has any real challenges."
Fortunately or unfortunately, the world of One Piece seems to have an "ask and you shall receive" policy for trouble.
"Coo," something hissed from the shadows of the hallway. Franky whipped around, almost throwing Chopper off with the speed.
"Who's there?" the cyborg demanded. "Show yourself!"
"Coo. COO!" Something smashed into one side of the hallway, cracks spiraling out from the shadows. The sound repeated, somewhat higher, the cracks widening and spanning the ceiling. The damage was too much for the stonework, the top of the hall quickly crumbling. Franky grabbed Chopper from his shoulders and covered the reindeer with his metal arms, protecting the doctor from the worst of the rubble. Now that the roof was gone, light flowed in from the windows of the floor above, illuminating the zombie. Gin's zombie.
"...Is that a pigeon?" Franky questioned, staring at the stitched-together, undead creature.
"Where would Moria have found a pigeon that big?" Chopper gasped. "And how did he connect its avian spinal column to that of the human body? Does the shadow act as a substitute brain since that of a bird would not have the capacity to control all the neurons needed to work human hands?"
"This is Devil Fruit bullshit, Reindeer-Bro," Franky responded, now eyeing the strange zombie. "And didn't Long-Nose and Little Sis tell us that Gin's zombie was part bird?"
"Coo!" the zombie cooed, lunging forward. In response, Franky grabbed Chopper and rolled to the side, leaving the floor to take the high-velocity tonfa. The fight had begun.
Zoro and Robin
"Mr. Swordsman?" Robin questioned, jumping from one tree branch to another as she followed the green-haired man's path exactly. They had passed the dock only two minutes ago, but by her estimate, they were already on the northern side of the island. The forest abruptly ended. "Do you, by any chance, have a destination in mind?"
"Of course I do," Zoro stated, climbing a boulder when there was clearly open area on either side of it without batting an eye. "We're headed to Moria's lair at the top of the manor."
Robin blinked, using her Devil Fruit powers to bloom a staircase of arms up and over the boulder and into the wide field on the other side. "You mean the manor on Thriller Bark, correct?"
"Obviously." Zoro continued forward, "forward" being a relative term. He moved in the same general direction overall, but he couldn't go more than five steps without turning.
"Then you must mean the manor back the way we came." Zoro froze mid-step, his right foot inches over a bubbling stream that cut through the meadow. Turning his head slowly, the swordsman was able to make out the silhouette of Moria's castle.
"Damn it!" he cursed. "Moria must have moved the damn thing!"
"Oh no," Robin denied, giggling. "I've kept several eyes on the mansion since we went into the woods. It hasn't moved an inch."
"What are you-?"
"Goda dammit, Lola! Leave me alone!"
"On second thought," Robin corrected, "perhaps your sense of direction isn't wrong at all." Running into the field from the left side was the Clear-Clear cat-man, screaming like a little girl as he ran from a giant warthog zombie in a wedding dress. Absalom and Zoro met each other's eyes from across the field, giving Lola enough time to tackle the member of the Mysterious Four.
"Lola, stop it!" Absalom yelled, thinking quickly in order to save himself from her deadly kisses. "We can't do this right now!"
"Does that mean we can do it later?" the warthog asked flirtatiously, batting her eyes at the man pinned below her.
"No!... Er, I mean yes! How about this, Lola?" The man tried to wiggle free from the zombie's grip. "If you defeat one of those pirates over there, I'll flirt with you." Lola's eyes took on an eerie red glow. "And if you beat them both, I'll marry you."
All motion in the field stopped, even the wind vanishing in the wake of the man's statement. The pirates could fully tell Absalom had to intention of keeping either of those promises, but Lola either didn't notice or didn't care.
"And if you fail to do either," Absalom continued in the silence, "then I'll marry that pirate beauty over there!" The cat-man wiggled an arm free from Lola's slightly-relaxed grip, pointing at Robin to punctuate his final statement.
"HELL NO!" Zoro and Lola yelled in tandem while Robin looked shocked. "YOU ARE NOT MARRYING ROBIN/THAT WOMAN!"
"I will!" Absalom declared with a smirk. "That is, if you don't defeat them, Lola."
"...RAAAAAAGHHHHH!"
End of Chapter 96
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-SwordOfTheGods