My Feelings for Her

"The two of you, why were you coming from the wood?" This was awkward. At least, that's what he thought. Now that he knew her feelings for him, it wasn't hard to believe that this might cause misunderstanding. Except, wouldn't even the truth might have romantic implications?

"Is there something wrong?" From the way Misei was talking. It was like she was goading the other girl on. "There's nothing with a couple of friends spending some time together, is there?"

"It's just that..." Matsu was getting anxious. She wasn't sure what to say or believe here. "I mean, if a girl and a boy are alone out there. Wouldn't people get the wrong idea?"

"Only someone as immature like you could think that." That was kind of unnecessary, Arata thought. "To think that I would give up my body like that. Or perhaps, that's just the type of girl you are. After all, you did-"

"Stop it." Arata had to put an end to this. Matsu was on the verge of tears, and Misei was acting rather uncharacteristic of herself. He was aware that they didn't have the best relationship, but this felt like fight, a battle of words. "I think that's going too far."

"I'm sorry." Misei realized the error of what she was saying. "I didn't mean to insinuate that you were that type of girl." She apologized to Matsu.

"Yeah…" Matsu accepted it quietly. "And I didn't mean imply that you did anything inappropriate either." Arata was glad that this was resolved, at least for now.

"Say, Misei." He was going to ask a favor of her. "Do you know where Akaki and Akiba are?"

"I don't know for certain, but they're probably getting something to eat right now. Why do you ask?"

"Well, the fireworks show is going to start soon. So we should get everyone together."

"Sure, let's go." However, Arata had a different idea of handling the plan.

"Actually, I'm gonna go with Matsu, so we can get her friends."

"You are?" She looked over at the girl. The way that Matsu glowed at hearing that. It made her feel a bit upset. "It's your choice." She allowed, as if he was asking for permission.

"Thanks." They separated, he knew that those two should not be together. At least for now, until he understood their animosity. "So where's the rest of the gardening club?"

"Well we actually have a stand here." She told him. "It's not for gardening though." It turns out Karino's family ran a restaurant, so this was a good means of promoting the business.

"That sounds like a lot of fun." He was impressed. It would've been cool if he could help one of his other friends with their stands. "But then, why are you here?"

"They told me that I should go have some fun." She answered. "It's probably because I'm a terrible cook." She laughed. That was the truth, but her friends also believed if she went out in the festival on her own. Then she'd go and seek Arata out, so this was a win-win situation for them.

"Well we should go pay them a visit. Hopefully they can join all of us to watch the fireworks." Standing beside her, Arata knew about what she felt. Or at least, that's what it appeared to him. It was a possibility that she didn't feel that way for him. Either way, he wanted to see how he felt.

"Yeah, I'll show you where the stand is." She was about to lead him, before he stopped her.

"Actually." He needed an excuse for what he was about to ask. This crowd was perfect for him. "This place is getting pretty busy now. It's too easy to get separated." Now he just needed to actually get to what he was after. "So maybe… We should hold hands."

"Hold… Hands?" She immediately put her hands together, as if wondering if that was okay.

"Yeah, so we don't get lost from each other." Even with what he was saying to her, there was no doubt in his mind. This was going to be a romantic gesture to her, the first one he had ever done. At least on purpose. He lent out his hand to offer it.

"...Okay." She accepted, and slowly moved her hand towards his.

They connected. Her hands were warm, and a little sweaty. Arata could tell how anxious she was about this. That pulse of hers, it definitely heightened. So did his.

Together, they walked to their destination. Arata thought that if anyone had seen him like this, especially if they also saw him with Erina. They'd probably think he was some two-timer. Actually, if they saw him with Misei as well. Then they'd really think he was some guy playing a bunch of girls.

All this time, he thought that being an otaku was going to end his reputation. Turns out that some misunderstandings could do the same.

As they were walking. This felt so unnatural to him. Probably because of how nervous he was feeling. Even Matsu got quiet when they started holding each other. Compared to Erina, this was an odd experience for him.

…Did he just compare her to Erina? No… Well it's fine, right? Because he was just friends with her, so that could provide a baseline for how he felt about her. Thinking about holding hands with Erina, he remembered that look on her face.

Arata's read plenty of manga, and a lot of the times. The couples always feel so anxious at any intimate moments. If that's how he felt right now. That's love, right? Then why does it feel like something's missing?

"There they are!" Matsu pointed over to the stand. All of her friends were around, it appeared like it was pretty hot there. "Lucky for us, it isn't as busy as when I left."

"Hello." Arata greeted them as they reached the front.

"Hello to you too." Hanaka welcomed him. "I see you got a special someone with you." She spied Matsu standing next to him, their hands still joined.

"Right…" He pulled his hand from her. "She showed me how to get here."

"Yep, and he wanted to know if we were going to watch the fireworks together."

"It should be fine." Karino, the child of the owners here answered. "Pretty much everyone's going to watch it. So there's no point in keeping the stand running."

"Wow, I didn't think that so many people wanted to see fireworks."

"Hehehe." Karino chuckled loudly. "I guess you don't know then." He had never been to one of these before, so that wasn't a surprise.

"Don't know what?"

"I'm guessing you've never heard of the legend?" That sounded like a weird way of saying it.

"This sounds like it's similar to what the school has with the dance, right?"

"Correct." Hanaka confirmed his suspicion. "I would call it more of a tradition, but it's more for couples than anything else, or maybe some girls that have some crushes."

"Why girls specifically?" They told him what exactly they meant. Every year, couples would get together, and renew their love for each other. Sealing it with a kiss during the height of the show.

But there was a special rule that people placed, probably to make it more interesting. Boys would have to close their eyes, if they wanted to be kissed. Eventually, this turned into a way for girls to confess to their crushes, without actually confessing.

"That sounds a bit strange." He told them after hearing the explanation. "If a boy wanted to do that, they probably either already know, or just have a crush of their own." He imagined that a lot of disappointment awaited more lonely kids.

"Then that means you aren't going to participate?" Yumeho asked him.

"...I'll think about it." Arata knew for a fact that Matsu was going to do it. Perhaps that could be the moment when he decided how he felt about her. "Is it possible for us to eat before the show begins?"

Together, they got some fried shrimp to share. He also grabbed some fried ice cream balls. That sounded like it could be tasty.

"Good thing that people have already eaten." He commented as they sat down at a table.

"Right." She agreed, hoping this could be a good chance for her. They took some bites of their shrimp. It was very tasty, he was going to make sure he came to that restaurant sometime.

"I should eat these before they melt." He took one of the ice cream balls, it was glorious. The way the inside melted in his mouth as he broke through the crunch of the shell. "Mmhmm!" He could hardly contain himself. He felt like he was one of the people in that anime about food. The only difference being that he wasn't about to burst out of his clothes.

"Is it really that yummy?"

"It really is." Despite never hearing of this, it was already near the top of his list of desserts. "You want to try some?"

"...If you're offering, then could you…" She slowly asked her question. "Could you, feed me a piece?" Feed her? Like what he was about to do with that librarian girl?

"...Sure." He answered. This was something that couple did, right? He picked up a ball with his chopsticks and held it up for her.

"Ahh." She opened her mouth and accepted his gift. The way the ball exploded in her mouth. It was just a wondrous feeling. "Wow, you're right. It really is good!" It was, but she was playing up her reaction. It's not like she hasn't eaten everything from her friend's family restaurant before.

The way she glowed before him. Arata couldn't help but smile. Being with her like this, it was almost like they were dating. If this is what he felt, then maybe she wouldn't be a bad girlfriend at all.

...Except, it still felt like something was missing. It felt like he was trying to convince himself that she was good with him. What was it that people in love felt? What is it, that's he can't seem to find the answer for? Or did he already know?

"Hey you two." He was broken out of his thoughts by the other members of the gardening club. "We just got everything closed up, so we should get to the fireworks display." Hanaka informed them.

"Right." Arata threw away the utensils and plates they were eating with. They all headed for their final destination. It was time to cap off this fall festival. And maybe for him, find out what he truly feels within.