The Beginner Spy

It was dark...I saw nothing. I heard nothing. Complete and utter silence. I saw something in the distance, just a slight bit. It got closer and closer and all the sudden I saw a scene. No...I was in the scene. I started to hear lightening and screams. I looked down and saw four-year old me crying into my mothers arms. I started to hear the sound of rain drops...then footsteps...pit pat pit pat... then the lightening struck... BOOM and all the sudden everything went dark. Another image started to appear and what I saw was horrifying. I heard a scream, it was my mother's. I saw her corpse in blood and a knife right through her chest.

BEEP! BEEP! I sit straight up covered in sweat. I turned my alarm off. It was THAT dream again. You see I've always had this memory since I was a child. When my mom died, I'm not sure why or who killed her but I do know that it wasn't easy to come to terms with. My mother was kind, sweet, gentle, and has the biggest heart. I'm not sure how she needed up with a selfish jerk like my father. Unlike her my father is cruel and selfish. I'm still very confused why she married him.

After my mom died, my father turned selfish. I know that it could be from sadness but he shouldn't have treated me and my siblings like that. Oh I forgot to mention, I have two siblings! One boy and one girl. They are both twins and they're both seven. I'm seventeen, ten years older then the two of them. I live in a cheap apartment with the two of them. We all got kicked out of the house after my father found a new woman. My father got her pregnant and they thought having kids would be such trouble so they kicked us out.

Not like I mind anyways. I kind of hate them now but don't get me wrong, my siblings are my joy. I love them with all my heart and want the best for my brother and sister. That's why I work so hard. I have three part time jobs and I'm going to college for a law degree. I also do martial arts, work with many different weapons, and make sure to keep my grades up. I'm such an over achiever, right? No. Not really I still get worn out from time to time but I need to keep going.

I've enrolled into a college for law school. I'm hoping to graduate ASAP so I can quit working part time. My life is so hectic sometimes I'm not sure what to do but I'll keep trying. I'll be the best law student ever and support my brother and sister. Being so busy also means I don't have many friends. Actually I have no friends at all and I like it that way. People always stab each other in the back they even spread rumors. It's better to be a loner then have some friends becuase you can never fully trust anyone.

Trust is something you earn but for me trust doesn't exist. The "friends" I had all betrayed me, spread rumors about me, and I got bullied for it. It's not something anyone should have to go through which is why I don't need nor want friends. I like being alone and I'll keep it that way. Emotional connections to people don't exist. The only people I have an emotional connection with are my siblings other then that no one.