Chapter 21: Traces of Past

IT WAS SO dark. Where I am? Why I am feeling so heavy? Where's Cedric? Where are everyone?

I AM ALONE IN THIS PLACE though I used to be alone. But somehow, it feels like I am scared despite of being alone. I am not the strongest girl that they are talking about. I was pretending to be strong and fearless.

But I've messed up. Despite of being strong, I failed to protect everyone around me. I am the one whose being protected. I am the one who always caused trouble for them.

Despite of being fearless, I am still hunted by those darkness every night. I am still a scaredy cat.

"Jessica? Jessica, wake up!"

I opened my eyes when I hear a gentle and surreal voice. It was sounded like a mother's love to her child. Pagkabukas ng aking mga mata ay bumungad sa akin ang isang nakangiting mukha ng isang magandang babae.

Her face looks familiar. She reminded me of someone.

"Mother?" That words suddenly slipped out from my mouth.

Mother? Why did I called her mother?

"Thanks, God! You are finally awake. I thought you will be forever in your sleep." Then she embrace me tight yet full of warmth. "It scares me when you are going to disappeared out of nowhere."

"I'm fine, mother. Why are you so scared anyway? So weird. I can handle myself. I'm your big girl, right?" I replied though I don't know how what to say to a complete stranger like her.

It's weird. Something's weird. Why I am acting like I known her? Why I am happy when she is with me? I don't understand.

"Right. That's my girl." Ginulo niya ang buhok ko. "You should get dressed and behave because tonight is your big day!  Tiffany and Sunny will be here too especially those six bunch of idiots from WU Organization."

Huh? Big day? Tonight? And she knew those people who are dear to me. What's with this scene? It feels familiar though.

"Big day?" I asked.

"Yup. Your sixth birthday! You didn't know haven't you?"

I nodded my head. I really don't know. I don't know why I am talking to this woman and who is she. I don't know what we are talking about but it feels like I am in my memories. It's nostalgic.

"Then father will be here, right?" I didn't know where I get the urged to asked her about my father. But I my heart says, I must asked her. If this was my memories of my past then I can regained it back.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang napawi ang ngiti ng babaeng kausap ko.  Nawalan ng kinang ang kanyang mga mata. Naglaho ang mga masasayang senaryo at nagulat na lang ako nang matagpuan ko na lang ang aking sarili na nagtatago sa likuran ng aking malaking closet.

Takot na takot ako. Magulo sa labas ng kuwartong kinalalagyan ko. From the outside, I can smell the scent of blood and flames—the corpses of the people who get involved in this chaos.

"Stop it! Stop! Don't—"

It was a loud cried made by a woman in despair. I peeped in the hole in the wall and I gasped when I saw it was that woman from earlier! The woman whom I called mother!

She was naked and lying in the floor and there was a naked man who was in top of her, kissing her neck while his hand was gropping her breast. Gumagalaw ang lalaking iyon sa kanyang itaas habang ang babae ay nagpupumiglas ngunit malakas ang lalaki at sinikmuraan siya.

I saw the woman's face. It was full of blood and sweat. Tears was flowing into her eyes and she was biting her lips, holding herself to let a moan at hinayaan ang lalaki sa kanyang mga binabalak sa katawan nito.

I want to save her but my legs couldn't get up. My knees are shaking and everytime I tried to move, it will turned back to their position. Why? Why I am afraid? Why I can't save her?

I shut my eyes closed and gritted my teeth as I heard the woman's cries in pain everytime that the guy toyed her body.

"Stop it! Please!" anang babae sa pagod na boses.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I stand up with my knees shaking at lumabas sa pinagtataguan pero bago pa man ako makahakbang ay nakarinig ako ng putok ng baril at ang kalampag ng sahig.

Shocked was written into my face when I saw a familiar face of a man bathing in his own blood. It was...

"George!" That woman shouted his name despite of being tired. Sinubukan niyang lapitan iyon ngunit pinigilan siya ng lalaki kanina.

"Let me go! How dare you do that to my husband! Ibinigay ko na sayo ang lahat! My body! Our money is yours too and why?! How could you do this to him?! You're a monster!" she yelled at him.

"That's what he get for interrupting us. And you didn't even give me what I am really need."

My mind was completely blank as I stared at the lifeless body in front of me. I couldn't hear anything nor feel pain. It was all blank. I didn't care on what's happening. I keep staring at that man's corpse.

Then out of nowhere, I bursted out into tears and yelled kasabay ng pagbabalik ng aking mga alaala sa nakaraan kong buhay.

It was like a medicine injected to me. It pains me well. My dark past. A past that I couldn't remember because I tried to remove it out of my mind. It was traumatizing—horrible.

I am raised in a wealthy family. When I was a child, my father teaches me on how to fight and how to use weapons. He keeps on torturing me some training until my body weakened. He was doing that because I am his heir. I don't have any siblings back then. I only relied on my friends if I have a problem with my dad. I dislike his ideologies. I didn't take my training seriously. And often I am rebellious against him in order to get his attention but he was too focused on his work as a mafia boss. In result, I planted some hate against him.

My mind when I was ignorant and dumb child was keep thinking in an immature way. I've always thought that my father doesn't really love me. I am too far to reached his assumptions.

When I turned into six, my parents are being slaughtered, not just my parents but fifty percent of people who was in that party yet fifty percent of people including me was survived by escaping.

And I hate myself for being weak at that time. I blamed myself from being too rebellious against my dad hanggang sa umabot sa puntong hindi ko sineseryoso ang mga trainings ko. I blamed myself from being a coward.

I still have one percent chance to save them but I didn't do it. All I do is to stare at my mom who was raped by the enemy and my dad being killed.

Wala akong magawa kundi ang panoorin silang nagdurusa habang ako ay nagtatago sa isang sulok. Kung hindi dahil sa akin, hindi sana ibinigay ng aking ina ang kanyang sarili sa lalaking iyon para makatakas ako at hindi rin sana namatay ang aking ama.

I am so stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"You don't have to blame yourself, baby."

I opened my eyes from shocked. That voice! It was my mother!

"Mommy?" I tried to find her but I couldn't see anything but darkness.

"Mommy, where are you?!" I cried.

"It's fine now. You know why? Because you have so many friends to protect. You gained some people trust and they keep on protecting you. They are some people who treasures you a lot."

"Friends? But I've only ended up killing them again!" I shouted in the middle of nowhere.

"So that's why you need to protect them, right?" Napahinto ako sa sinabi niya. "It's time for you to pay for your guilt back when you failed to save us. Now, you can pay us back by protecting those people who are important to you."

"But.."

"This is the reason why I sacrificed myself in order for you to be saved. I want you to gather some strength. Be brave and be independent. Fight whenever you want and protect those who need to protect. Save those who need to be save and fight your own fears. Throw away all of your own fears and embrace yourself."

I stopped crying. She's right. I understand. There's no point in blaming myself because it's no use. It couldn't turn back time. For now, I need to focus on my present situation..

I will save some innocent souls. I will promise it, mother and father.

A warm wind touched my cheeks. And everything turned to white. There's no darkness anymore. Somehow, I don't feel scared when I think of those idiots.

I closed my eyes and I opened it once again. I found myself being tied inside the laboratory. I can still smell the medicines and I couldn't help but to feel pity to those people inside the gigantic tubes which are used for creating a humanoid. In my front there is a board containing all the data regarding the experiment and there are lot of computers in this area. Some are used for experimentation and some are for a surveillance camera in different places.

I see. So this is why they have knowledge about what we are doing huh?

"I'm glad that you are awake now." Napatingin ako sa lalaking nagsalita. "It seems that you are troubling yourself while you were asleep. It turns me on."

I gritted my teeth. "Cedric Delacroix..."

He smirked. And it makes me feel irritated to the point of thinking on how to get rid of his smirk.

"I really like my name when it was being called by your voice—"

"Why are you doing this?!" I interrupted his words because I've started to feel bored anyway.

He pouted. "That was so mean of you. You should let the other finished up before you going to speak. That was so irresponsible, you know?"

"Thank you." I snorted out making him laugh.

"You are really something, Jessica." He started to walk towards my direction without minding me throwing glares at him.

He stopped in front of me then he grabs my hair and smell it. "You smell so nice.."

"Would you cut this crap and answer my question?!" I spatted angrily. "I am not here to be praised by some psycho like you! I am here to know everything! Why are you doing this?! What's your real motive behind this?"

Itinaas niya ang kanyang dalawang kamay at ngumiti. "Easy ka lang. Mahina kalaban hahaha."

"Tsk." I can't stand this guy calmness despite of the intense situation.

"Why we are doing this? For a change." he said chilly.

"Change?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Yes. We want to change the world. The people around us. We want to create the world where there is no evil nor crime. Just only us. We have many different reasons why we want it and I think it would be easier if we keep this reasons in our own privacy."

A world without evil? Is he really a dumb? There's no world like that existed!

"That's why we are turning some humans into humanoids or creating some humanoid. If they are created by men, they can be controlled by the system, I mean by us." he said na parang nababasa ang mga nasa isipan ko.

"You! Is it okay for you to kill some innocent people? If you really want to build a world with no evil, you shouldn't done it in a murderous way. You will look the same as evil." I commanded.

"If it was not killing, is there is another way?" That question made me shut up.

"Yes. There must be. You shouldn't—"

"No. There isn't." Cedric's serious face made me shut up again. I see but it isn't right.

"Who thought of this idea?" I asked.

A smile appeared on his mischievous face. He leaned in to me and whispered something.

"The one who thought this idea is someone who is closer to your heart.."

Napakunot ang noo ko. "Closer?"

He clapped his hand and then doing some weird post like he was on shooting. And the next words he said made me shocked.

"He is George Jung, your father and a former human..."

A silhouette of a middle aged man appears and greeted me when I've seen his face clearly.

"It's been a while, my daughter."