forty

You purchased the flight ticket, and also the train ticket. You called for a taxi, which would be there in 10 minutes. You stuck the few things you had taken from your suitcase back in, grabbing your hairbrush and toothbrush from the bathroom.  Then you went to find Donna, and let her know that you were going back to Seoul, back to Tae. You suddenly realized something, and it made you smile. You had found your soulmate in Seoul.

~ ♡ ~

Taehyungs POV

I rolled over, wondering what time it was. Then I remembered... I didn't really care what time it was. I knew I should get up, and go to practice. I knew I should stop wallowing in self pity, and get on with my life without y/n. But I didn't want to.

I had sent her that text, and gotten no reply. Jimin told me I shouldn't give up. What the hell else was I supposed to do. I couldn't make her come back if she didn't want to be here, if she didn't want to be with me. Sure, I could send more texts, but what good would that do?

"Be persistent" Jimin had said. "Keep telling her how much you miss her" Jimin had said.

What the fuck did Jimin know anyway? He didn't even have a girlfriend.

I sighed, and grabbed the tiger that was next to me, bringing it to my nose, inhaling the scent of y/n, the scent that was fading a little more each day.

I knew Jimin would be here later to check on me, and make me eat something, and drink something. I was surprised he hadn't tried to make me take a shower yet. But I wasn't that far gone. I planned to take a shower today. Maybe I would do that now. Then I would lay back down, and wish that I could turn back time, just far enough to stop y/n from leaving.

I pulled myself up, and got out of the bed. I found a clean pair of sweats, and a t-shirt, throwing them on the bed. I walked to the bathroom, pulling off the clothes I'd had on for the past two days, realizing that I felt pretty gross. It wasn't like me to go this long without a shower. Some days I took one in the morning and one in the evening.

I stepped into the shower, turning on the water, and waiting for it to heat up. I cleaned up, trying not to remember the time y/n had showered with me, but I couldn't keep it from replaying in my head. I closed my eyes, and let the tears fall, mixing in with the water running down my skin.

I rinsed off, and turned the water off, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. I didn't bother with my hair, even though it was dripping. It would stop eventually. I stepped back into the bedroom, and sat on the bed, to lazy to dry myself off. After a few minutes, I got up and took the towel off, dropping it on the floor, and grabbing the sweats, pulling them on, followed by the t-shirt. 

My phone dinged, and I picked it up, knowing it was Jimin. He'd messaged me yesterday at lunch time too, to see if I'd eaten anything. I opened the message.

Jimin: Did you have lunch today Tae? I can have something delivered to you if you want.

It was the same thing he'd asked me yesterday. I appreciated him, I really did. He would be here for me no matter how much of an ass I was being. I knew right now I was being a total ass. But I knew Jimin understood. He always understood me.

'I'm fine Jimin, not hungry, but thanks anyway. Tae'

Jimin: Okay. I'll see you later.

I sat on the bed, staring into space, thinking of how I should have done things differently. But I couldn't change it now. So I was just going to lay back down, close my eyes, and try not to think, at least until Jimin got here later.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Tae, wake up."

I groaned, pretty sure I'd just fallen asleep.

"What time is it?" I peered at Jimin thru one eye, refusing to open the other one, just wanting to go back to sleep.

"Its 11:45. You should eat something. I brought you a cherry coke, and some kimbap."

I sat up, taking the coke from him, and popping it opened, taking a sip. It was good.

"Thanks Jimin. I...uh...I'm sorry, I know I've been pretty difficult to deal with."

"You have, but it's okay. I understand. I see you changed your clothes."

"I showered, I was starting to feel nasty." I reached up, ruffling my hair, because it felt like it was sticking up.

He nodded. "Well good." He sighed, looking at me sympathetically. "I know you think it'll never get better Tae, but it will. I don't wanna have to keep worrying about you, its exhausting. Maybe you should try to come to practice tomorrow. I know you'd rather not, but you can't avoid it forever. Some normalcy might be just what you need."

I looked up at him, then closed my eyes. I knew he was right.

"I'll think about it." That was all I could give him.

"Fair enough." He set the container with the kimbap down on the nightstand. "I gotta go. Eat. You're going to make yourself sick if you don't.  I hope I see you at practice tomorrow."

He waved, and walked out, not even making sure I had eaten at least one bite, like he had the night before. Well good, maybe I could get some more sleep now.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You arrived in Seoul with no issues, getting off the train and trying to remember the route you'd taken last time. You knew if you could get to the hotel you'd stayed at, you could get to Tae's house from there.

But you weren't positive of the direction, and you didn't want to take a chance and lose your way.

You hated to text Jimin at this hour, but you needed to know Tae's address. You pulled your phone out of your pocket, opening your contacts.

I'm sorry to bother you, and I apologize if I wake you, but I'm not sure how to get to Tae's house from the train station. Could you give me his address, or maybe just tell me how to get there.

You hit send, not even sure if you would get a reply, considering the time. However, a few minutes later, your phone dinged, and you sighed with relief, looking at his reply.

Jimin: He lives on Samil-Daero, but I can't promise your GPS will get you there, they've been changing our address system so it messes things up sometimes. It might be easier for me to just tell you how to go.

You typed the street name in your GPS, and brought up the map.

Before you even got to study it, you got another message, and opened it.

Jimin: It's not hard at all y/n, you just go straight from the station, until you see the Starbucks, and make a left, then go another 4 blocks, and make another left, and you'll see his house.

You looked at the map, and that was basically what it showed you. You also knew that it would take you right by the hotel, and as tempted as you were to stop and say hi to Minhae, your desire to see Taehyung was stronger. Besides, it was almost 3am, Minhae was probably sleeping, and there would be no sense setting the bell off when you didn't even need a room. At least you hoped you didn't.

Thank you Jimin, I'm heading that way right now. I can't wait to see him. I miss him so much.

You grabbed your suitcase, and started walking, feeling a combination of excitement, apprehension, and even a little sadness.

Your heart was pounding, because part of you wanted to run, get there as quickly as you could, but the other part of you, the part of you that knew how much pain you had caused him, wanted to drag it out, simply to give yourself more time to work up the courage to look him in the eye, and say you were sorry.

Your phone dinged again.

Jimin: Just so you know, he hasn't been eating right, or taking care of himself. I took him a soda and kimbap, but I don't know if he ate any of it. I noticed he had finally showered, and changed into clean clothes, so that's a good thing. I left the key where I told you. Thank you for coming back, y/n.