~Namjoon POV~
I walked along the beach holding Erin's small hand in mine. It was towards the end of summer and our groups both decided to go to the beach for our day off. The sun was beginning to set and the sky burst into a mix of pink, orange, purple, and blue. My eyes slid from the beautiful sky, down to the girl beside me. Her green eyes seemed to sparkle with the dim light from the setting sun and her skin practically glowed.
She was wearing a royal blue bikini that hugged her petite form perfectly. Her hair swayed gently as a breeze blew past us, and I once again was mesmerized by her. She was beautiful, no beautiful doesn't do her justice, the better word is gorgeous but she doesn't like that word being used to describe her, she always says it's "too glamorous and definitely not me". But right now, I could find no other word that could describe her.
She lifted her eyes to meet mine and I let our gazes linger for a moment before my eyes moved down to her lips, full and oh so soft with a rosy pink, perfect without any lipstick or gloss. I had the urge to lean down and place mine to hers but she pulled out of my grasp before I could. I was a little surprised and confused that she had pulled away and I guess it showed on my face because she sighed and looked back to the sky.
"Namjoon, we can't be together. You're an idol, and I'm still a trainee, there could be trouble for both of us, not to mention the company and our groups." I took a gulp of air, this can't be happening. She doesn't want us to be together? "I know what you are saying, but it doesn't mean people have to know about us, we could keep it secret, only our members and PD Nim can know, and when you debut and are doing well for a while then we can tell everyone about us, it could work."
She frowned at me and shook her head, her hair gently going across her face, the blue in her hair illuminated by the sunset. "No Namjoon, we can't take any chances, I don't want to pretend we aren't a thing when we are! I don't want that kind of relationship! We are done, please don't try to argue when you know it's the right thing." I could see her eyes were watery and she blinked a few times to try and keep the tears at bay.
She threw me one last glance before walking back up the beach, back the way we came, her arms were hugging her torso and I bet she was holding back tears. I stood there paralyzed to the spot watching her leave. She's right that we could get found out and it could cause a lot of problems, but shouldn't our own happiness be priority? But should our happiness come at the cost of others?
I jolted up in bed, the sun was barely peeking over the mountain it hid behind. I looked around to see Yoongi was still sleeping soundly in his bed and the rest of the dorm was quiet so I guess I was the only one up at the moment. I yawned and rubbed my eyes when I realized my cheeks were wet, had I been crying? I frowned before going to the bathroom to wash my face and try to get that dream out of my head. Why was I so upset about a girl dumping me when I have barely said a few words to her in a year?
I shook my head and went back to bed, I am getting as much sleep as possible.
~Erin POV~
I washed my face in the bathroom and pouted at the mirror. Why did I have such a sad dream? And why was I even crying over a dream anyway? I shook my head a little, my hair hitting my face. "This is so stupid, why am I even crying?" I left the bathroom and headed for the kitchen, Alex wasn't awake yet so I was quiet as I left our shared room. When I walked in I wasn't surprised to see Euna grabbing ingredients out of the cupboards and refrigerator and placing them on the counter.
She looked up at me and surprise flashed briefly in her honey brown eyes before it vanished and was replaced with worry. "Didn't sleep well?" She asked as she began beating eggs in a bowl. I sighed but didn't deny it as I sat on a stool. "Can I help?" She watched me but didn't decline my offer as she knew I loved anything to do with baking or cooking so she handed me the bowl of eggs and began heating up the small skillet.
I beat the eggs and we both stayed in silence for a few seconds before someone came in. "What's wrong, why is it so quiet?" Euna and I both look up to see Mina standing by the kitchen door. Her gaze cut between Euna and I and then finally ending on me. "What's up?" I sighed. "It's stupid, just a dumb dream." She narrowed her eyes and then shrugged before sitting down beside me on my left.
I finished beating the eggs and Euna began to make French toast. Euna sent Mina and I to get the other two up causing us to look at each other. "Rock, paper, scissors?" She sighed but did it with me, I won and she insisted on best two out of three, and I won again. She pouted and we headed for the rooms. "Please Unnie can we trade just this once?" I shook my head. "Alex is pretty mean when you wake her up too so I'm not getting out of this unscathed."
I teased and she sighed before she went into Aeri's room. I went into my room and walked over to her bed. "Hey Alex, if you want breakfast you better get up." She groaned and swatted my hand away before turning over and going back to sleep. I shook her arm a little and she opened her eyes looking annoyed. "I'm tired, let me sleep." I smirked at her and acted like I was going to leave. "Well then I guess your sleep is more important to you than eating French toast and being a trainee, I'll be sure to inform PD Nim for you, sleep well!"
She sat up at me glaring playfully "Don't you dare." I smiled and left the room as she got up and began to get dressed. Aeri groaned as she came out of her room, rubbing her eyes. She pulled her hair into a messy bun and went into the bathroom mumbling about wanting more sleep. After a long morning we finally got out of the dorms and into the Big Hit building.
As we were walking to one of the practice rooms to work on choreo we passed BTS. It was a pretty normal thing for us to pass BTS in the halls and wave to them, but as my eyes found Namjoon I thought of my dream. My heart sped up like it does every time I see him. Our eyes met and I swear I saw a flash of sadness in his brown irises, but as if it was never there it was gone and he nodded a greeting and I barely had enough time to nod back before they had already passed us.
Why did he look upset, even if it was for just a moment, I know I saw it. We got to the practice room and began working on the choreo of the week when the door opened and PD Nim came walking in, the usual smile on his lips. "Girls come over here for a second I have big news!" He called, we all exchanged excited glances as we gathered around him.
"So I bet you are all wondering what we decided as your positions in the group, so I am here to tell you!" We all let out excited cheers and waited for him to continue. "Ok so I will start with vocalists. Euna is the lead vocal, Mina is main vocal and Erin will be sub vocal along with Alex, of course since you all can sing, when you have songs where the whole group will sing together at some point." We all smiled and congratulated each other.
"Now for the dancers, Alex will be the lead dancer, Aeri and Mina will also be dancers. Rappers will be Aeri as lead rapper with Erin as main rapper. Euna is the visual and the leader will be Erin. Congratulations girls! Oh and your group name will be LIT M, which stands for Live In The Moment, work hard girls and soon you will be able to debut!" We all cheered again and he left.
That's when it set in, I'm the leader. "Why me?!" I asked no one in particular and they all laughed. "You just fit in the leader role, I am way to energetic for it, Aeri Unnie doesn't like responsibility, Euna Unnie is too gentle and can't really handle stress, and Alex Unnie could try to be leader, but if she got mad she might say things that idols shouldn't say." Mina said with a grin and the other three nodded in agreement.
"LIT M is going to be the best girl group ever! Someday we might even be better than 2NE1!" Mina proclaimed and we all cheered along with her, I guess her optimism is contagious. Everything will work out and we are going to work hard to become a great group and make our families proud. I smiled and forgot about the confusion of my dream.
We all worked hard for the rest of the day until we finally got to dinner time, we packed our things and cleaned up in the bathroom to head out of the building with plans to eat out and celebrate the big news we received. Alex and I were a little behind because I couldn't find my phone so Alex stayed back to help me look while we shooed the others ahead of us so they could get us a table and get settled in before we got there.
"Where is it, I know it was on my change of shirt!" I sighed and went through my bag again and Alex came out of the bathroom holding my phone in her hand. A sigh of relief left my lips and I ran to Alex hugging her and grabbing my phone. "Alex you're a life saver! If I would have lost it I would have been in so much trouble because if someone found it and stole it, I don't have a password lock on it at the moment." Alex just smiled and we gathered my stuff before heading out.
It was already dark as we stepped outside, the brisk night air of early September nipped at our exposed skin. It was a nice night, the sky was clear of clouds, but full of stars. As we were about to walk, a familiar figure stepped out of the building behind us. My breath caught in my throat and my heart sped up. Namjoon stood in black jeans and a black v neck t-shirt. His blonde hair was a little messy probably from him running his hands though it.
He looked good, really good. The light of the moon illuminated his skin, (that looked way better without makeup) giving him a soft glow. Our gazes locked and he spoke without looking away. "Can I talk to you in private, Erin?" His deep voice vibrated around us in an echo that cut through the silence. Alex looked between us and moved a little closer to me. "Do you want me to stay?" She asked me.
I took a deep breath. Do I want her to leave, leave me alone with Namjoon the man I have been dreaming of, the man I have had a huge crush on for years? Do I even know what to say to him, what if I make myself look like an idiot and he never talks to me again? Why does he even want to talk to me alone in the first place? All the thoughts running through my head were driving me crazy and I spoke before I could stop myself.
"Alex, you go on ahead and tell the others I'm just calling my mom to tell her the good news." Alex raised a skeptical eyebrow at me and I gave her a smile. "It will be fine, Namjoon won't do anything because he knows if he did you would be the first to know who did it." She shook her head at my try for a joke and she sighed before nodding. "If you need me, send me a text and you bet I will high tail my ass over here." I laughed lightly and she leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You better tell me everything when we all get back to the dorms." and she began to walk away.
I turned back to the man before me and took another deep breath to calm my nerves. I lifted my eyes to meet his again and he seemed unsure for a moment before he motioned for me to follow him back into the building. I once again for probably the thousandth time today took a deep breath and followed him in.