Codename: Retriever

June 25, 1964

Well, where do I begin?

First, I might as well say my name. After all, this is my first diary. I am Virginia Gray. For the sake of being personal, I will call myself Ginny. My mom bought you for me for my 17th birthday. You were probably the best gift out of all of them. Everything else was just clothing and cooking supplies. All just boring stuff. You, however, you're exciting! Except, how will I keep track of you when nothing happens where I live? I get that Richmond is the capital of my home, Virginia. But nothing is ever really exciting here. It's just the same old routine each day!

Each morning, mom wakes me up and makes breakfast for our family. My family consists of me, mother, father, and my older brother Tom. Tom is only a year older than me, and he is fresh out of high school! He is a good man, though. He already has been accepted to a college in the state! I am so proud of him!

Well, enough about my family, I suppose you should know a little bit about me. I attend Armstrong High School and I have many friends there. My best friend, though, is a girl named Mary. She is just so fun and kind! I love being around her. I never get any attention from boys, unlike her. In the six years since we've met, she's had four boyfriends! Meanwhile, I haven't ever had one! My mom wants me to find a boy and settle down when I graduate, but I don't know if I want to. Along with Mary, I have many other friends, both girls and boys! Despite this, I mostly just keep to myself when it comes to my emotions. I mustn't worry my friends about how I feel. That is why I am writing to you,

Well, I might as well end it here. I'll give you more news when it comes along!

Sincerely, Ginny

June 30, 1964

I received a call on the telephone. It was a friend of mine, Cynthia. She said that everyone in our grade was going to her house and that she wanted me to come as well. I knew what this meant: Cynthia was going to hold a big party. She does this all the time and has been doing so since 9th grade! She was always a huge rebel against her parents, but in a much different way than me. While she rebels by partying and going out late, I rebel by my secret plans of leaving home once I can.

When I graduate from high school, I am shaking Richmond off my feet and I will see the world!

Who knows what is out there outside of this silly old town. I'll see Paris, London, New York, Sydney, Tokyo, and more! You'll see! And when I do, I will write to you to prove it!

But anyways, back onto Cynthia. I had to deny her request because, as much as I care for her, she is just way out. I try to understand her, but I just cannot. Despite that, I'll still try.

Sincerely, Ginny

July 4, 1964

Today is Independence Day! That means spending time with family, good food, and fireworks! Every year around this time, my relatives come over to stay with our family. My Grandpa Eddie was a soldier in World War 1. Due to reasons I do not know, though, he is in a wheelchair. My brother and I always ask him about his time in the military. He refuses to answer, saying that he is 'leaving it to our imagination.' Sometimes I just don't get him!

Anyways, my mother will soon be calling me downstairs to help set up for the party. So, I will tell you more as soon as I can.

LATE NIGHT REPORT: I snuck away from my family in order to write to you. I just don't like it out there. The fireworks are cracking outside the house and my entire extended family is here! My aunties, uncles, grandparents, and cousins! The moment I went downstairs I was instantly asked hundreds of questions! It's just bothersome.

I love my family and all, but they can be so nosy! I tell them to not ask me these questions, but then mom smacks me upside the head for being "unladylike." WELL AS IF! I'll have you know that I don't need to be submissive to be a woman! I'm sick and tired of my mother! I wish I could just run away sometimes!

Sincerely, Ginny

August 5, 1964

I had more beef with my mother today. She said that she was frustrated that I didn't come home to help clean the house. When I tried to explain I was too busy helping a friend with summer school homework, she was having NONE of it. She complained that "Our home and family are the top priority. Not school." Hearing that makes my skin crawl. I just wanted to help my friend, that's all!

I called her a chicken and was sent to my room without supper. I'm now writing this with a small light on my desk. I love my mother and all, but she just allows dad to walk all over her. I wish she could take more thought of what I want! Not what people think is "normal!" Well, I ain't having none of it! They can break my mother, but they can't break me, you'll see! I'll prove it! I'll prove it to you all!

Sincerely, Ginny

August 20, 1964

I have some good news. My final year of high school has started. I'm now a senior along with all my friends. However, there is some news…

Mom and Dad desperately wanted Tom to join the military. They wanted him to carry on the legacy of my father, and my uncle, and my grandfather. Well, Tom refused to listen. He stood up for himself and left for college. Being honest, I am proud of him.

Well, I hope my final year of high school goes as well as all the other. I know my life well enough to know nothing out of the ordinary will ever happen!

Sincerely, Ginny

September 16, 1964

Hello, diary. I know my schedule is a bit strange when it comes to writing to you. I can't help it. Nothing interesting ever comes out of Richmond. Well, that is normally how it is. One day, I want just SOMETHING to happen! It can be anything!

Well, one can only hope. While I am writing to you, I guess I should say how I'm really feeling.

It's about my parents. I love them and all, but my mother is desperate at this time. She always says things to me such as, "Someday when you're married," "One day you'll have a husband and kids," or "When you're a housewife for your husband." It drives me crazy! Why does my mom have to assume these futures for me?!

My dad is nothing like that. He says I'm just like my Aunt Esther when she was young, apparently. Yeah, I can get why he says that. It's 1964, times are changing! Well, it's not like he's the only one who is like that.

On top of that, My aunt is always saying to me, "You don't need the attention of others to be great." I love my Aunt Esther and my dad. Despite that, my mother can really get on my nerves. Next time we talk, hopefully, I'll be not as bent as I am right now.

Sincerely, Ginny

September 27, 1964

Tom said he wanted to talk to me in private. When I asked him what was going on, he opened up to me a lot more than what I was expecting. He said that he really didn't care about the family name any more than I did. After all, Gray is not that uncommon of a name in our time. He also said that he wants ME to be the one to go off and get a successful job and be rich. Tom never cared for fame or cash, unlike my parents. He's just a sentimental fella.

I couldn't help but just hug him and thank him for his words. It reminds me that, despite my parents bothering words and arguments, at least I have someone to turn to. We need more Toms in this world.

Sincerely, Ginny.

October 12, 1964

Today at lunch, Cynthia accidentally spilled some soup on a boy in our grade. I don't know his name, but boy he wasn't happy. She apologized again and again as she helped to wipe off the spill. During this time, the two got talking, and I knew friendship was born. However, he invited her over to sit with him and his boys and she did. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't just completely abandoned me! Why does everyone do this???

Well, I guess the rest of the day went well. I got an A on my test in English and I got Mary as my partner for our science project. Other than that, nothing special happened to me today.

Hopefully, there will be more exciting events this month! After all, Halloween is approaching!

Sincerely, Ginny

(P.S. Why do we even celebrate Halloween?)

October 24, 1964

Every Saturday, I ride my bike down to a local ice cream shop to meet up with Mary and Cynthia. It's been a tradition of ours since we were about ten. Because it's getting colder, I had to put a jacket on over the dress I was already wearing. I don't like to drive because riding a bike gives you a breath of fresh air when you ride.

Anyways, I got down to the ice cream shop around 11:00 AM. However, much to my surprise, neither of my friends were there! As a matter of fact, the shop was closed! I never learned why, but I just rode back home without any ice cream. I mean, there is always next week. Oh, wait, next week is Halloween.

Sincerely, Ginny

November 1, 1964

It is currently 2:43 A.M. Everyone else is my home is asleep except for me. I'll tell you what's happened that led up to me being wide awake at this time.

Yesterday was Halloween. Because I am not a little kid anymore, I do not go trick or treating. My dad spent the whole day in bed, asleep. Mom went out for a party with some other moms in our neighborhood. Meanwhile, Tom and I were at the house. He gave out candy while was getting ready to watch scary movies all night. A little after six, my mother called the house, saying that she needed me to go over to the Peterson's home. They have a seven-year-old son and he was alone at the house because he didn't want to go trick-or-treating. My mom wanted me to go over and watch him while the family took his sister around the neighborhood. I hesitantly accepted and left my brother alone to deal with any trick-or-treaters.

A few minutes later, and I got to their house. I know that they leave a key under their doormat, so I was able to get in. Mom has brought me over to their house hundreds of times. Anyways, when I finally got inside, their kid, named Jake, was just sitting there on a chair in the dining room.

When I sat down next to him, he didn't say anything. Instead, he just got up and went upstairs to his room. It was rude, but I wasn't going to pursue the rascal. So I just decided to watch television on their sofa instead of my own.

After about an hour and a half, I woke up from my half-sleeping state to a loud thud. When I ran upstairs to check on Jake, I got quite a surprise. It turns out that he rolled off his bed onto the floor while sleeping. Now wide awake, and hurt, the kid started crying.

I had no idea what to do, so I just tried to calm him down to the best of my abilities. But nothing worked. After a few minutes of trying to help Jake, I heard the front door open. It turns out the Petersons were home early. When they saw what happened to their son, it was obvious that they were NOT happy with me.

When I got home, Mrs. Peterson already phoned my mother. So, as a result of a mistake that wasn't really mine, I was grounded for a week. So for the week, I cannot hang out with any friends of mine outside of school! Being grounded is just the worst!

Sincerely, Ginny

November 2, 1964

I was looking around the newspaper before school. The word "war" repeated itself multiple times. I know our country has had problems with Vietnam thanks to The Gulf Tonkin Resolution a few months back. The U.S has sent advisors over to their country to help. But, I guess they are taking it a step further. I thought about that for the rest of the day.

A war? Interesting… My father was in war. So was my uncle and my aunt and my grandfather. I bet Tom is going to carry on the heritage.

No, I laugh at the idea of my kind-hearted, yet wimpy brother as a soldier.

Sincerely, Ginny

November 13, 1964

I was down at the library today. I didn't have anything else to do, so that's where I was. The library was almost empty except for me. No girls or boys at my school ever visit the library. Don't remember why I was there, though.

I passed a shelf where something caught my eye. Quickly, I snatched a book off the shelf and opened it. I don't know where it came from. But, it was filled with empty identity papers. It's those papers you fill out as an adult to show your identity. An idea popped into my head. Something involving, well, taking some papers.

So, I did.

I gently ripped an identity paper from the book before running out the door. Since the library was almost empty, nobody caught me. I got home in 10 minutes after that. My idea I had, it's not good.

Maybe I'll think about whether or not I go through with it...

Sincerely, Ginny

November 14, 1964

I can't believe I am doing this. First things first, I am so sorry.

For the past few days, I have been thinking about the war. I know Tom doesn't want to go. But, if we are to carry on the family tradition, he would HAVE to enlist.

Unless, I do it for him. Not just for tradition, but to get away from my parents. Particularly, my mom.

So in the night, I stole my father's clothing and my mother's scissors.

Right after that, I took the papers from my bag. The identity papers. With my pen, I filled out any fake information I needed. I said I was eighteen on those papers. I didn't use my real name. I didn't even label myself as female.

Sneaking away to the restroom, I changed from my normal clothing to my dad's white shirt and plaid pants. I wrapped linen fabric around my chest. Well, not like I needed to, I am complete flat down there. Finally, with the scissors, I cut tons of blonde hair off my head. I left my hair short and messy, yet away from my face. Once I wiped off the bit of makeup I had on, I took one good look at myself in the mirror. With no makeup, my pale skin and round face really showed. Piles of my blonde hair were on the ground, so I cleaned it all up.

However, it seems like I make quite a lot of noise. A light behind me turned on. When I turned to see who it is, my mother and father were both there, petrified by what they saw. My mom begged to know what I was doing and my father was furious. I told them that I would not stand by as my brother is taken away from us. I said something I would quickly regret:

"I am leaving for the military."

My mother cried out as she pulled me close, begging on her knees. Dad was in so much shock, it was like he couldn't even move! I could see why they were upset. Nobody wants any of their kids to go to war, but especially their teenage daughter! My dad didn't say anything. He just shook his head in sadness and left back to their bedroom.

I tried to comfort my mother the best I can but to no avail. She just sat there crying. I didn't know what to say. After a bit, the tears stopped and she looked up at me. I told her I was sorry, but it was too far now for me to turn back. I guided my mom back to her room and left to my own. Once I was alone in my room, I used my Polaroid Camera to take a photo of myself. The photo printed out instantly and I attached it to my papers. I left them on my desk and climbed into bed.

I can't sleep, which is why I now write to you, journal. I don't know what lies ahead of me for tomorrow. I will write to you when I can.

Sincerely, Ginny

November 15, 1964

There's a Marine Corp recruiting station in Richmond. I snuck out early in the morning so nobody I knew could see me. I remember the heart wrenching process as I handed in my forged identity papers. The man looked me up and down, asking me tons of questions. I even did a ton of medical tests (which I passed) Finally, I recited an oath and signed a paper, confirming my spot as a recruit.

So, he told me that on December 3rd, I was to report to this station. There would be a bus that would pick me and any other recruits up. I thanked him before riding my bike back home.

I snuck into the house only to be confronted by Tom. His face spoke for him. "Ginny, what the- What is going on?!" I could tell that was rhetorical. Of course he knew what was happening. I simply said, "I'm sorry, but one of us is leaving and it ain't you."

Tom was angry. This led to a huge argument with woke our parents up. Mom still cannot believe what I have done. But, at this point, it's too late to turn back.

Sincerely, Ginny

November 16, 1964

The morning was a disaster. My parents were sobbing as they held me tight. Tom was so angry at my decision, he wouldn't even talk. It felt like this was the last time I was ever going to see them. Maybe it is… who knows. I got down to the station around 7:00 A.M. I don't remember what time we got on, but we did.

On the bus, I sat down next to a man who looked a little older than me, maybe 22? He introduced himself as Sam Evans. Just like me, Sam volunteered for the marines. I told him about the situation with my family tradition. He simply smiled as I explained what who we are. After a while, we both grew silent with nothing more to say. While he is staring out the window of the bus for most of the time, I am writing to you. I've gotten this far into the journey, and I cannot back out of it now.

REPORT: 2:32 PM. We have almost reached Parris Island. The instructor on the bus told us that when we get there, we will have the rest of the day to settle in. But tomorrow, we start training. I don't know what the next 13 weeks will hold for me, but I cannot promise that I can write often. I'll try the best I can, though. But as we approach Parris Island, my nerves begin to act up. I feel sick like I am about to vomit. I was so confident at first, but now…

I don't know what happened.

Sincerely, Ginny