The Reason

Momo: That's quite a high fever you've got.

Momo says, pulling away her hand from my forehead. I'd finally got a hold of Doris and got him to agree to help me train and this happens?! I'm just lying in my bed, panting! And I still haven't told Marques that I won't be needing his help anymore.

After he told me that I was burning up, he supported me back to my room. We got a lot of stares of the other trainees on our way back but, that's the least of my worries right now.

Ciara: How do we get to come down?

The nurse's office is closed and we don't have any medicine.

Momo: I'll go get some pills from a nearby pharmacy.

Ciara: Thanks.

She's really a woman of a few words, isn't she. She puts on her black jacket on top of her dark grey hoodie and picks up her phone. Hmm, come to think of it, Momo always wears dark colours. I've never seen her in any light coloured clothes except for that cute oversized light grey jersey she wears sometimes.

She's about to walk towards the door when...

*Rumble!!* Rumble!!*

Momo:!!!

We both turn our heads to look at the window to see bright streaks of lighting in the cloudy sky. It's raining heavily. Another stroke of lighting occurs and I look at Momo in concern only to find out that she's trembling with fear.

Momo?! Is she perhaps... Afraid of thunder? I don't know what I should do. As I'm debating with myself about what I should do, my hand automatically lifts itself and holds her shaking hand in a practiced movement. Weird, why does it feel like I've done this before? Nothing comes to my mind.

Momo looks at me in surprise.

Ciara: Don't go.

If she's afraid of thunder, she shouldn't go outside in such weather even if it's for my medicine.

Momo: But your-

Ciara: I'm afraid of thunder.

Momo:... Huh?

She must be insecure about her weakness and that's why she won't admit it. We all pretend to be strong all the time that we try to forget our weak points. No matter how hard we try, it tends to show; I know what it's like. I always let my weaknesses get the best of me every time.

My fear of holding a gun, that lasts to this day, cost me my mother's life 5 years ago. Even if we don't show out fragility, it will drag us down one way or another. Since our weaknesses are, most of the time, kept a secret that we keep to ourselves, this is the least I can do for her. After all, she's my friend.

Ciara: Stay here please... I'm scared.

She doesn't say anything for a moment. Then, maybe having figured what I'm really doing, she sits down beside me with a gentle smile and nods.

Hey, this is the first time I've actually seen her smile! She gently squeezes my hand and we exchange a smile. Just then, somebody knocks on the door. Who could it be at this hour?

Momo: I'll get it.

She lets go of my hand and opens the door.

???: How... is she.. now?

I can only hear fragments of what they are saying, but I recognize that voice!

Ciara: Marques?

I quickly sit up straighter. Momo slightly moves away from the door so I can see him. My eyes go wide in surprise. The one standing at the door isn't the perfect man I saw a while ago, he's drenched from head to toe, just like this afternoon.

His charming smile is now replaced by a concerned, uncertain expression. He's out of breath probably from running. But why? I make contact with his anxious eyes and I'm unable to look away.

Marques: Here...

He takes a few steps towards me and holds something out to me. Huh? It's a strip of tablets that help reduce fever. Wait, did he just...

Ciara: Did you run all the way to the pharmacy to get this in such weather?!

Why would he do that?! What if he gets sick too?!

Marques:....

He doesn't say anything and looks away. Something about that really triggers me and forcefully grab his hands. Momo senses the tense atmosphere and walks a few steps away from us.

Ciara: Are you crazy?! Do you want to fall sick or what?!

He finally looks at me and then brushes my hands away, no emotion showing on his face.

Marques: For the reason I told you before.

Ciara:.. Huh?

The reason he told me...? Wait, was it that day when I heard some other trainees insulting us..?

Ciara: Thanks for what you did back there.

Marques: I didn't do it for you.

Ciara: What?

Marques: If they're insulting you, they're insulting my entire team.

.... He did this for the Team again. If I fall sick and am unable to study and practice, I'll drag the entire team down. He didn't do it solely because I was sick. Huh, it's not like it's his responsibility to look after me or anything. There's no reason to feel upset, right?

I withdraw my hands and take the strip of pills from his hand while doing so. I turn around to hide my disappointed face.

Ciara: Thanks for your 'favour' then, make sure you don't catch a cold either... For the Team.

Marques:.....

I hear the door shut behind me. I don't know what kind of an expression he had on his face but, why do I care?

Momo: Ciara...

Momo calls out to me in a worried tone. I can't act weak, if I do, I'm defying the sole purpose of coming to the NDIA. I show her a tired smile and pick up a glass of water. I take the medicine and walk back towards the bed.

Ciara: I don't feel well, I'm going to sleep.

Momo:....

Momo doesn't say anything in return. I lay down on my bed, my back facing her and pull the sheets over my head. I hear a sigh behind me. I shut my eyes tightly and see Marques's expressionless face. For some reason, my chest aches.

He would've done that for anyone, I'm nobody special. I know that and yet, I still feel a twinge of disappointment. He is just helping me with studies because I'm weak and will bring the Team down, he doesn't really care about me per se.

We have not been, if I may call us that, friends for very long, I guess that's why I don't really understand him. This has been an eye opener, the next time he lends me a hand in anything, I know what it's for.

Momo gets on her bunk too. The room falls dead silent. It's always been like this but today, it feels awkward. A few minutes pass by and Momo finally says something.

Momo: Are you asleep?

Ciara:.....

I don't say anything. She continues regardless.

Momo: If you're listening, there's not much I say to you. Some things,.... they are not always as they seem. Feelings or appearances, they can both be disguised.

Ciara:.....

Momo: At times, you tend to think that they really concern themselves with you because they care about you but, sometimes, they may have another motive. I am not saying that whatever's happening between you both is that case because I don't know him that well. I just want to say, don't trust anyone blindly only to get hurt later.

Ciara:..!

Momo... Why does her voice sound so sad? Does she speak from experience? But... thank you. She's right. She doesn't speak a lot but, she knows everything. She knows exactly how I feel. However, I just want to be better friends with him then why...

Though, after hearing this, I can finally, fall asleep without worrying too much about Marques...