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Epilogue - Xu Shen Part 1

After Lu AnLing had left, it took a long time before Xu Shen began to live his life.

At first, he didn't know what to do but after a while, he began to spend more and more time out of the house.

Xu Shen had spent some time a little bit everywhere. He had always had a dream to go visit places and actually live his life but after Lu Shuya and Lu Duyi had been born, Xu Shen found that there was no reason to leave but now that both of his children were living their own paths, with not only Lu Duyi studying hard, Kang Liang was there to watch over Lu Shuya, but also Lu AnLing and Lu Xiaoling living their own happinesses, Xu Shen had a lot of time for himself.

The only problem was that, with all this time, Xu Shen didn't know what to do with it.

After visiting a few places in China, and even visiting a couple of old friend that he had, Xu Shen found himself a bit disconnected from life. Unlike most of his friends, Xu Shen had actually settled down and had a relatively easy marriage. There was no emptiness, no affairs or messy divorces. Everything was fine... yet for some reason, he didn't feel fine at all.

His purpose used to be making Lu Xiaoling comfortable. Then when they had children, it was to raise them, then when Lu AnLing joined the family it was to make her feel at home. Right now, all of his goals had been fulfilled but he didn't have a goal for himself.

After wandering the country aimlessly, he finally met with an old childhood friend. This childhood friend was planning on getting a divorced from his wife but as a last ditch effort on trying to make everything work, he and his wife had decided on one final trip to Maldives to try to remind themselves of one of the best days of their lives; their honeymoon.

Feeling a bit worried about what would transpire there, his friend had begged Xu Shen to come with him. He would pay his ticket and everything.

At first Xu Shen was a bit apprehensive. This was a strange thing for him to do. But after a bit of thought and convincing, Xu Shen decided to go.

Once in Maldives, as his old friend and his wife were reliving their glory days, Xu Shen spent most of his time in the resort, partially exploring his surroundings.

Truth be told, on such a beautiful island, staring out at the clear blue sea as the salty sea breeze lightly kissed the man's skin, he felt something he hadn't expected to feel. He felt jealous...

Xu Shen had truly loved Lu Xiaoling and despite her not loving him back and him knowing this, it still hurt seeing Lu Xiaoling with Tang Yian and that was one of the reasons why he could not stay in T City.

For the first time, under the influence of the beckoning sound of the sea and the radiating sun, Xu Shen allowed himself to cry.

After a while of looking out onto the sea through blurry eyes, Xu Shen walked away and then suddenly he found himself bump into a woman.

Embarrassed by his crying expression, Xu Shen put his hand in front of his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry..." Xu Shen said.

Hearing his voice, the woman frowned and then she approached the man curiously.

"Are you okay?" The woman asked as she looked up to him, trying to peer through his fingers.

Feeling her unwavering gaze on him, Xu Shen felt his face heat up but he tried to back away from her so she wouldn't notice.

"No I'm fine... I just have sand in my eyes..." Xu Shen said awkwardly.

Hearing such a blatant lie, the girl frowned slightly. However, before she could say anything about it, a voice came loudly from behind them.

"Hey, Qiang... Han Qiang! Don't just disappear like that!" Han Wei, Xu Shen's old friend, suddenly ran up to the woman.

Without any hesitation, Xu Shen wiped away his tears and then looked between his friend and the woman. Once he had completely analyzed the woman's familiar features, Xu Shen frowned.

"Han Qiang?"

Hearing her name, the woman looked at Xu Shen strangely, but she didn't say anything to him. Instead, she turned to Han Wei and said,

"You invited me to Maldives. Did you think I would just stand still?" Han Qiang said with attitude.

Hearing this, her brother frowned before he turned to Xu Shen. Seeing his friend who glared at him slightly, Han Wei smiled awkwardly and said, "Shen! What a coincidence!"

"Coincidence?" Xu Shen said with slight annoyance. After this, he looked between Han Qiang and Han Wei and then he said, "Wei, come here for a second."

After that was said, the two men went into a corner to speak.

"You brought your sister with you too? On your new honeymoon trip with your wife?" Xu Shen asked feeling slightly weirded out.

Understanding the meaning behind Xu Shen's words, Han Wei frowned hard. He then approached his friend and put his arm on the man's shoulder, "She's here to keep you company, not me!"

"So you're setting me up with your sister?" Xu Shen asked with a frown.

"Look, you're divorced, she's single, both of you need someone or a lot of alcohol. So before I pump you both full of rum and vodka, I was thinking of seeing if you could find something in one another." Han Wei said justifying what he had just done.

"Are you and your wife even fighting?" Xu Shen said without hiding his accusation.

With that said, Han Wei shrugged.

"Sometimes. But who doesn't when you're married." Han Wei said without any shame. After that was said, before Xu Shen could speak a word, Han Wei turned to his sister and screamed, "Qiang Qiang, you remember Xu Shen, right? He's here, alone, so how about you keep him company and reminisce a little?"

Frowning slightly, Han Qiang's face almost screamed, 'And why should I do that!' But she didn't say that, instead she said,

"Alright."

After hearing this, Han Wei left his sister and friend alone and headed back to his wife.

At first, their reunion was a bit awkward. They barely spoke and sometimes, Xu Shen would look at her out of the corner of his eyes, as he tried and failed to come up with a conversational topic but once the two got to the bar and began to drink the two began to speak.

"You're divorced?" Han Qiang asked with a frown. "Why did you divorce?"

"It's complicated..." Xu Shen said simply as a faraway look appeared in his eyes. "She just... found someone who she truly loves. Either way, she always felt indebted to me... So I let her go."

Han Qiang frowned.

"Are you stupid? I would have been so annoyed, I would have stayed married to her just to spite her and make her feel like she owed me! Cheating is unacceptable." Han Qiang said with disgust.

Hearing this, Xu Shen laughed. "My wife... well, my ex wife, didn't cheat on me. Her ex husband came back from the dead"

Han Qiang's eyes widened.

"Is your life a soap opera? That's just crazy..." Han Qiang said slowly as she processed what Xu Shen had said. After this, Han Wiang looked away and said, "Unlike your life my love has been less than boring. I've had some boyfriends but I never got married or had any kids. Sometimes I wish I had but I never found myself ready for that kind of thing... actually... I even had a boyfriend once who told me that I was horrible since I didn't want to have kids with him."

Looking at her deeply, Xu Shen smiled sadly. "If you weren't ready, you weren't ready. That decision you made was best for you, your boyfriend and the potential children you could have had. In the end, having a child when you weren't ready would have hurt everyone..."

This was Xu Shen speaking out of experience and somehow, Han Qiang noticed this but she didn't bring it up. Instead she said,

"You're right. I'm glad I stuck to my guns!"

Hearing the cheery way she said this, Xu Shen couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing!? I'm telling you the truth!" Han Wiang wined slightly.

Hearing this, Xu Shen laughed a bit more. He didn't know if this was his buzz From drinking or the fact that Han Qiang was so easy to talk to, but he felt really light. So much so that he began to see the woman through rose coloured glasses.

"I'm laughing because you're adorable." Xu Shen didn't mean to let those words escape his mouth but they did without him having a chance to stop them and once it was out in the open he wouldn't take it back and so, he just looked at the woman softly.

Under his gaze, the girl reddened slightly but along with this cane a soft laugh which gradually became cheerier and cheerier.

Han Qiang was not an old lover or an old friend. She was a friend younger sister. To be truthful, Xu Shen never thought much of her. She was just that. His friends younger sister who used to avoid him whenever he came to play at their house. But meeting her again, like this, and seeing the way her face bloomed like a rose as she laughed, Xu Shen felt his heart skip a beat.

I promised that Xu Shen would be the happiest and he will be!

I personally love Xu Shen. He needs to find happiness but also deal with his feelings from the past

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