This had always been Ichigo's problem, he didn't think. He tried to rationalize it to himself, as there was no need to have to think too hard back then. Someone points a sword at you? You point yours at them and fight. This mentality had gotten him into more trouble then he would ever admit to another person, and right now it was giving him a massive headache, both metaphorically and very literally.
You see, a newborns brain simply can't handle the sheer amount of complex thoughts that Ichigo was processing at the moment. The more he tried to analyze it, the more it was hurting.
He did the only they he could do, he delved into his soul world to alleviate his brains burden.
Even though his new born body was that of an infant, his soul was powerful, and the soul was not burdened like the rest of his body due to his reincarnation.
Maybe the guy that helped him had foreseen this and left him a way to handle being an infant?
Ichigo looked around his soul world, it was the same, but something was missing. Something he could never replace.
"Old man…. Zangetsu…." his whispered to himself.
"I'm sorry for how selfish I was before…"
"You both would always follow along with my whims even when I got us way in over our heads."
"I don't think I can change my nature, even if I'm living in a new world, but I'll try to do things
differently this time. I'll try to actually live."
Ichigo knew that they probably couldn't hear him, but he needed to get these thoughts out in the open. He needed to come to terms with the mistakes he made.
"I know you just wanted me to live a long-life Old man, even it meant I would have never awoken any of my powers."
"And Zangetsu, I know you would always try to goad me into being intimate with girls…. but I always knew the truth."
"I was scared before, I didn't know how to have a relationship and I used my circumstances to rationalize pushing away any girl who showed feelings towards me. I wasn't as dense as everyone around me thought, I was just scared."
"I'll be different this time, I'll accept their feelings. All of them."
"I knew the truth Zangetsu…. You were my instincts after all, and I'm sorry for not accepting it before."
"You just wanted me to have someone to hold when times got tough…."
"Someone to be there when the pressure was too much, a shoulder to lean on and sometimes…to cry on"
"Just…. someone to love"
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Ichigo felt a burden lift from his shoulders. This time would be different. I'll protect everything important to me but…" I'll live my life to the best of my abilities." He promised himself.
"So just wait please. I don't know who will be left by the time I turn 16, I don't know what will happen in my previous world but please, just wait I'll be there as soon as I can." He spoke as the faces of all his friends and family flashes across his mind.
After calming down and trying to figure out his current situation, Ichigo was able to open a sort of screen in his soul world that would project what his eyes saw.
The good thing about being an infant, he body was pretty much on auto-pilot. It slept when it wanted, and the people around him fed him at regular intervals.
Really, he didn't have to do anything….and he couldn't do anything. All he could do was sit here, by himself, and think.
Inside his soul realm, he could think without it effecting his body, his soul bore the burden and it reflected itself in the fact that here, he was still a teenager. He thought himself the same as before and his soul agreed.
So here he was, all alone with only his thoughts for the next several year until his body could acclimate.
So he just thought.
He thought about all the mistakes he made, and how he would do them differently. He thought about his future and started to plan things out. He could hear and catch some small dialogue between what the "nurses" were saying.
He was a bit freaked out at first when he saw them. They had wings. Black wings. Black devil-like wings.
...."shit" he finally realized.
Ichigo realized what he was born into.
"Am I some sort of devil offspring?"
"Was I taken to be some sort of ritual or sacrifice?"
"No, they're taking too good a care of me, but I've yet to see anyone that acts like my parents."
"Maybe some high and mighty clan, like the old days. The infants get taken care of by maids and they barely get to see their parents?"
Ichigo couldn't help but feel this was some sort of cliche novel opening.
"Too little information to work with, my parents have yet to make an appearance which is fine for me emotionally, I don't think I can develop feelings for them all things considered, but I've yet to see any siblings, not like I would recognize what I look like. But there have only been nurses."
"All I can do is wait…"
And he did, he waited. Days turned into months, months into years. Until he felt something finally click in his psyche, his brain felt "strong" as the best way he could describe it. He was 4 years old, and he could finally take full control.
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There were hushed whispers among the staff at the Phenex castle the past few days.
Another Phenex descendant had been born of Lord Phenex, but it was not from his wife.
The staff did everything they could to stay away from the quarreling couple, the temperature in the castle had risen exponentially. Lady Phenex was angry and Lord Phenex was taking the brunt of it.
The staff lost track of how many times Lord Phenex had to revive due to his phoenix bloodline.
Lady Phenex truly loved her husband, their marriage was arranged but she had fallen in love with the kind, yet stoic man before her eyes. He promised to always love her AND ONLY HER, and yet he brought home a pregnant HUMAN.
Lady Phenex was not one to look down on someone's birth or their origins, but she had her pride as a high-class devil. When a human woman caught HER husband's eye's enough to where he forgot about his promise to her, it made her angry. And to make matters worse, the human slut was pregnant.
If the staff around the castle had the courage to gossip, they would tell about how often the Lord and Lady would romp around in the bed sheets. It was not easy getting pregnant with the offspring of a phoenix. Truthfully the fact that she had so many children with him already was considered a miracle in the underworld. There were queries into her clan history to see if her bloodline was able to help facilitate pregnancies.
She took pride in her children, she loved her husband and considered herself a Phenex until the day she died. She helped expand her clan, she did the impossible and birthed enough heirs to make all the 72 pillar clans seethe with jealously, her clan would continue for several thousand years now, bar outside interference.
And yet…how did this human woman get pregnant, when devils with access to magic and science that she couldn't possible understand to help increase birth rate , could not.
Devils had a naturally low birth rate, that his was even further reduced for powerful bloodlines. The whole situation was odd. Through magic, they were able to tell that the father was her husband, but how did this human woman get pregnant so easily?
They had found the woman due to spikes in a demonic energy signature that resembled the Phenex clan's energy.
Lady Phenex found out that her husband had a "one night stand" with a human women when he went up to the human world for a business trip.
After finding the women and learning her "circumstances" they pretty much kidnapped her. All factions try hard to keep their world hidden, and a devil being birthed in a hospital would do much damage in their efforts.
The only solace that offered Lady Phenex comfort at this moment, was knowing the human woman would die in child birth.
A regular human can't withstand the birth of a devil, and if they tried to reincarnate her as a devil through an evil piece, the child could potentially die.
The choice was obvious to the clan, a child with a potential phoenix bloodline is much more valuable than a random human woman.
So they simply watched, the pain in the mothers face as she gave her life to bring her child into this world. She had no idea she was in the underworld, nor that she was surrounded by devils. She didn't know she was about to die, but ....she was happy in her final moments.
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Lord Phenex was a wise man, he knew he messed up after the 8th time his wife "killed him". Thankful for the reviving ability of his bloodline, and the ability to heal certain…. parts that were especially targeted in his wife's rage.
The Lord did feel sorry for the situation, he did not intend to betray his wife's trust. In fact he could barely remember meeting this woman. The most he could remember was meeting with a certain fallen angel faction leader. And next thing he knows, he wakes up with the biggest hangover he's ever experienced in his long life, and the woman in his bed next to him.
It wasn't hard to put two and two together. Whatever that bastard Azazel gave him was strong enough to make HIM drunk. Though the Fallen angel had no nefarious purpose, the guy just liked to drink and have sex, he was still angered beyond measure.
He betrayed his wife's trust; his promise lay broken. And because of him, an innocent human woman died, and he had a child that he, in all honesty, does not much care for.
He besmirched the face of his clan, he the honorable Lord Phenex, has a bastard child.
People are already talking, rumors spread out of his domain and he received calls and letters from various families probing the status of the young bastard.
He could only sign in resignation.
To placate his Wife, he push his bastard off into a far wing of his castle, he wouldn't visit him nor would the child have much interaction with the main family.
They would basically quarantine the child until his 11th birthday, the day of the awakening ceremony. The day the Phenex clan members would go about awakening their bloodline.
It was considered a sacred day every time a new member of the Phenex family turned 11. It did not happen often, but it was a celebration nonetheless.
Lord Phenex had a small smile at the thought of everyone getting all worked up for a Phenex child's 11th birthday.
The truth was, you could activate your bloodline between 10 and 13 years of age. It just so happened that Evil Pieces are distributed to the respective hosts on their 11th birthday, so the previous generations thought it would provide more entertainment to have the awakening ceremony coincide with it.
He couldn't help but sign again. Though I don't have the feelings a father should towards a son, I can at least give you a decent life by being my progeny…. Your mother was talking nonstop about your name before she gave birth, I can at least honor her but letting you keep that name.
"You are a bastard, so you cannot take my clans name according to the rules, so you will take your mothers. Your mother named you Ichigo, and you will take her last name of Kurosaki." The Lord quietly spoke before writing it down on the parchment in front of him.
"I hope you awaken even a small amount of the phoenix bloodline…. otherwise I won't be able to protect you." The Lord spoke these words in his heart.
Ichigo was careful when he interacted with the outside world, he tried not to raise any suspicion with his actions and it was hard at times. Having to constantly act like a child when your mental age exceeded 20.
The boredom, the silence, the amount of time he spent in his own head, it could make a lesser man go insane. Really the only thing that kept him pushing through were his loved ones waiting for him.
The days started to pass, he tried to gleam any information from his "caretakers" as he could. He was not allowed to venture very far from his room.
Some of the things he was able to find out, apparently he was the bastard son of the Lord of the Phenex clan. It got a good chuckle out of Ichigo when he realized the Phenex clan were descendant of Phoenixes. "How original a clan name" He thought sarcastically.
He also found out he had the same name as his previous life, which led the question of what his mothers name was. It pulled on his heart strings when his hair color started coming in. He tried to push the thought into the back of his head but it kept coming up…..did he have the same mother?
His name was Kurosaki Ichigo, and his hair color was the same…so where was she?
He couldn't just outright ask for about his mother, he was supposed to be a child with no world awareness yet. So, he could only wait.
And he waited, months passed.
He started to notice a change in his mentality, he was more mature now, as ironic as it was seeing as he is but a child physically. He wasn't making as many rash judgments, he was able to carefully analyze his situation and any information he was able to gather.
It wasn't until he was 6 years old that he was finally told about his mother, at this point in his life he was already being tutored on various subjects and he supposed it would not raise any suspicion if he asked about his mother.
Part of him had wished he left it alone, he didn't know if his heart could take it. For all the mature growth he experienced…he still missed his mother.
Kurosaki Misaki. The tutor confirmed his mothers name. He explained how she was a human who died because she gave birth to a devil.
The tutoring session ended early that day. All Ichigo could do was cry.
Frankly it was a good thing. His caretakers and tutors started to notice odd behavior from the child. He was too…...inquisitive? He absorbed any odd knowledge like a sponge. He constantly asked leading questions about his circumstance and about the world. They were going to bring his behavior to the Lord until this incident happened.
The child cried for the entire day. True tears, not something one could fake. So, they came to a false conclusion, the child was just lonely, and his behavior was the result of his isolation.
His various tutors and caretakers started to open up to him a bit past the job they were assigned.
They would answer any of his questions now without much critique. Ichigo had not known what happened but he was happy nonetheless. He was able to get a lot more information about his new world.
Right now, he lived in the Phenex clan's castle, located in the underworld. The underworld was apparently huge, roughly the size of the human world, which was also called earth. The day and night cycle were artificial from what he was told, to mimic the human world and to help adjust new reincarnated devils.
This was the big one for Ichigo, reincarnated devil. With these things called "Evil Pieces", which mimicked chess pieces, you could reincarnate a human or other being into a devil.
It didn't take long for Ichigo to realize the significance of this. He could reincarnate the people from his previous world into devils and as a result the world wouldn't reject them.
As the explanation of the evil pieces continued, he learned that only high-class devils receive evil pieces. And him being the part of one of the 72 pillars, the Phenex clan, he would be given a set upon his 11th birthday.
He now understood what the tablet voice meant by having to pay to make sure he was put in the correct family when he reincarnated.
But a thought also crossed his mind, he had a limited number of pieces. who does he save if there are more than he can bring back? He pushed the thoughts down for the moment, one step at a time he chanted to himself while trying not to lose focus on his goals.
He also overheard a bit of news that concerned him. It was the gossip of the maids when they thought he was further away. Apparently after you receive your Evil Pieces, as a Phenex clan member, you are required to go through the bloodline awakening ceremony.
There had been talk that Ichigo would fail to awaken his bloodline, if his demonic energy amount was indication, he was a pitifully weak devil who would not amount to anything.
It was the last bit that made him tense up, if his bloodline did not awaken, he would be cast away to some far corner of the underworld to live out his days. They couldn't risk his bloodline, even a dormant one, getting taken by another family. So he would have to disappear from the public eye.
He knew, he knew that he would not awaken his bloodline. He had a better grasp on his soul than anyone in this world. He could tell there was not an ounce of Phoenix in his body. So, he had to prepare.
He started off slow, with his tutors he learned various barrier type magic. Even with his pitifully weak amount of demonic energy, he would be able to construct potent barriers given enough time. His tutors could not argue with his logic on the matter, so they helped him specialize in barrier magic.
This wasn't enough though, he was planning to escape at some point. He wanted to leave this clan that would at best exile him and at worse kill him. He needed to gather funds and a means of escape.
He was given a bit more freedom as he approached the ceremonial age. Ichigo guessed that it was a precaution in the case of him awakening his bloodline and joining the family for real, he would need to be somewhat sociable.
He had been given a small allowance and was allowed to roam the nearby city with one of his tutors and some guards.
He "wandered" around the city in the eyes of the people watching his every move. He was planning an escape route. He was able to locate the portal that connected to the human world in the city. It took some acting on Ichigo's part, basically asking about everything he was seeing as they passed it, even if he knew the answers. All so he could ask the important questions about the human world portal.
From what he was able to gather, you only needed to pay the fare and you could be transported to a designated location in the human world, as long as there was a corresponding portal there.
The only issue, the cost was a bit high for his budget… He would have to save up several months and that may look odd that a kid his age had impulse control with regards to money.
He just needed to find something that would catch a child's attention enough to want to save money. And then he saw it, a weapons shop.
He would act engrossed in it, he would pick out a weapon. One that would rationalize a child wanting to save his money to this extent and not raise suspicion.
The plan, if he could call it that, worked well. He found an expensive sword that was still within a year's budget, its price was a bit over the fare of the teleport, so it would work. His tutors were more than happy to explain that if he saved his allowance he could purchase it in several months.
After returning to his room at the castle, Ichigo was starting to question his plans. He wasn't getting cold feet, he was wondering if he was overthinking everything. He was manipulating his tutors and caretakers when maybe he didn't have to?
He had seen no deviant behavior from these "Devils", they were essentially human in almost every aspect. He started to wonder if he was overthinking his plans
It was starting to get stressful having to keep up this façade every second of the day. The only time he could relax, was when his body was sleeping, and he would delve into his soul. He didn't know who was watching, he thought that maybe he was being paranoid, but some small feeling inside him was telling him to better be safe than sorry.
So he continued to plan, he went over it every night. Making tweaks when needed and trying to keep it as simple as possible. Simple is better, less factors to go wrong, less mistakes overall. It was not a hard plan, anyone with intelligence could pull it off really, but he was trying to limit any kind of interference.
He was essentially running away from home.
If he failed to run away, he didn't know what would happened to him. Maybe they would kill him right away. In fact, maybe that's their plan all along, they would kill him after he disappeared from the public eye, a dead Phenex wouldn't have their bloodline stolen.
Simple plan, get money, find the path of least resistance, escape to human world an disappear.
With so pitiful a demonic energy, he would suppress it and make himself seem human and avoid detection while he trained to become a Shinigami again.
Just have to be patient.
Once again, the months passed and the Bloodline Ceremony was only days away.