Doubts

(Rose PoV)

I backed off slowly after looking at the 2 people on the couch. Both were sleeping, one with a refreshed smile, the other a cramped expression. I watched on from the side as I saw what happened. He was cutting himself now?

It wasn't a good sign.

*Sigh*

I couldn't help but let out a sigh as I moved away, trying not to make too much noise. I now had a connection with his other kin, it may have been small, nothing compared to what I shared with him, but it was something.

I could feel the pain she was in as she watched him go further and further down a pit of despair. I had seen it happen many a time in the elf village, the moment when a person broke, when the suffering got too much for them.

But what pained me the most where my own feelings. They were nothing compared to his sister, daughter, whatever their relationship was. I had bonded with him, I had chosen him as my eternal partner, and my feelings couldn't match hers at all.

No it was worse than that; my feelings had been shaken after the town incident. I still remember it as if it were yesterday.

******************

When I had been enveloped by a cocoon and saw what happened, it disgusted me. The pain, the torture inflicted upon the innocent people. It made me have second thoughts; it made me think about my new partner in a different light.

How could a person be so callous to roam around with something like this, at the time I had viewed Ella as a beast, something as bad as the elves. They both disgusted me with their actions. I had no clue if they knew this would happen, but I didn't care. Just seeing what happened had impacted me too much.

It took quite a lot of self-control not to strike out once I was free, to strike down such an evil creature in front of me. Not that I was a saint. But I had a line, which apparently they did not.

Had I been lied to? Had they been manipulating me? Were they just as bad as the elves?

My mind went into a dark place as I followed Ella to the library. I decided at that point, when we reached the doors that I would find out what type person Liam was when he woke up. Whether he was unaffected by his mindless slaughter, reveled in it, showed pity for them, showed true remorse for his actions, anything

Depending on his reaction I would finally know what he was, whether he was a good man, or a despicable scum.

We found a place to lay him down and I left his kin to tend to him. I couldn't stay in the same room as them at the time. I had to go shed some tears; the impact of what I saw couldn't be ignored. It really brought up unpleasant memories from my past, times when the elves would go out and purge slaves for disobedience and other transgressions.

At the time I had gripped my fists so hard blood was coming out, caught in my own thoughts.

It was a short time later that she walked in. Having calmed down a bit, she moved in to talk to me. I had seen enough of her talking and interaction to know her mental faculties, she may have looked like a grown woman, but she was still a kid on the inside.

As she walked in, I gave her a hard stare and reached down for my whip. My body tensed up as I felt the connection between us. If I didn't hold myself back I would have lashed out, and she realized this. She stopped in her tracks as she walked in.

Assessing me with her white eyes. They sent chills down my spine as we both sized each other up. The friendliness that had always been there was slowly being replaced by enmity. It was like a hunter was starting to look at their prey or a beast awakening. She was starting to look at me like an enemy and with him unconscious in the other room; she wasn't in the proper head space.

*Growl*

A guttural growl came from her mouth as she looked at me, her eyes shining brighter and brighter. I tightened my grip on the whip; if she made a move I would have gladly attacked her. I felt my reasoning start to lesson as our feelings of enmity combined and push us both forwards to attack.

I had taken my whip down and had it unfurled as we were about to start a full out brawl when a new emotion joined us. A huge impact of terror, despair, hatred, self-loathing and many more dark thoughts flooded both our heads.

I gripped my head as all these new emotions flooded in and I blanked for a second. The same happen to Ella, before a happy expression turned up on her face. All of this was coming from him. These feelings actually made me calm down once I stopped to think, they confirmed what I had been hoping; he was feeling remorse for what happened.

Actually it was a lot more than that, the intense emotions of hate towards one self truly showed that what happened in the town had greatly affected him. I'm sure Ella in front of me would have instantly rushed off to go to him, had we not been about to fight.

She sent me a fierce expression as she judged my body language and gauged my feelings; I could feel her mental touch probe me. As I wasn't feeling too negative towards them anymore, she was starting to cool down. If I still had disgust, or hatred towards them, she would have instantly stopped me from getting near her kin.

And though I may admit that it was still there at that time, they weren't nearly as prevalent as when I first got out of the cocoon.

At that time as she turned and prepared to leave, I felt a change. All the emotions that had been chaotically flying around and going everywhere turned into one dark mass that slammed into me. And that dark mass only wished for one thing.

Death.

After that I felt a pain shoot right through my chest and then heart.

"Argh!"

"Urgh!"

I shouted out as the pain made me cramp, the same was happening to Ella. We both looked in his direction as I figured out what was happening. I was shocked for a second before panic set in. Not minding Ella who was near the door I rushed out and ran straight too him.

She must have realized as well, because the next second I felt her aura burst out and surround the whole library, her body zooming by my side rushing towards him. Maybe it was because I was now connected to her as well, but I wasn't affected by the pressure.

We had left his body close by so we soon reached him.

Ella had stopped in the door way when I reached them; her body was trembling as she looked in. I ran up to her and also looked in.

He had been placed down on the couch when I left, but it had now been destroyed. He was standing with his back facing us a sword in hand. And with that sword he had stabbed himself through the heart.

I could still feel the pain that was coursing through my body; I didn't have time to be frozen. He was just standing there waiting for himself to bleed out.

Rushing past Ella I got to him fast and circled around to look at his face. He had tears streaking down his face and blood running down his mouth as the sword was stuck in his chest. His eyes were empty as he stared into space waiting to die.

I quickly grabbed his body and pulled out the sword, he could still survive!

I focused all my energy and started to cast heal on him. A small green glow lit up in my hand as I pressed it on the gouge wound, I had to get it closed as fast as possible. He continued to stare into nothing as I did my work.

He finally woke up when the wound finally disappeared. His face turned to one of confusion before looking down at me. And the look he gave me broke my heart.

It was a look asking why? Why did I save him? He wanted to die.

I felt my emotions go into overdrive as I sprung up and tightly hugged his body. That finally woke Ella up as she also dashed over and hugged his body. He didn't say anything as we tried to comfort him. It was at this time that I realized just how much that massacre had affected him.

Even though he said nothing, I could still feel his emotions, they were still raging on, and they were still dark and pitch black. He didn't have to say anything but I knew how bad it was.

We continued to stay like that for a long time, I couldn't remember how long it was.

******************

*Crack*

"Your incision is stupid. Just look at him!"

I punched into one of the shelves as I talked to myself. Why was I having doubts about him? For Christ sake look at him! He is punishing himself so much! I should have realized when he tried to kill himself!

I felt so stupid as I pulled my fist out of the broken wood. I had to fully accept him as my partner. I had my doubts back then, but seeing him like this told me all I needed to know.

He was someone that I could spend my life with.

Someone I would always help.

Someone I would do anything for.

I pulled my hand out from the destroyed wood and walked off to think.

There had to be something I could do.