CONFIDANT

CONFIDANT

Written by: Lilaclily

Confidant

-a person with whom one shares a secret or private matter, trusting them not to repeat it to others.

Ex. "a close confidante of a princess"

As I entered the gate, I was so nervous because of the new environment. New faces of the students and new teachers.

Well...welcome to highschool life Josiah.

Agad akong naglakad papunta sa room and silently sat beside the window, it's kinda awkward because I don't know anyone here. I roamed my eyes and saw a girl entering our classroom.

Damn she's beautiful. Para s'yang anghel. Her flawless and white skin, her shiny long hair and her brown eyes. Damn she looks so perfect.

Without any hesitations, I came closer to her.

"Hi, I'm new here. My name is Josiah, what's your name?" I asked.

Ngumiti s'ya sa akin pero nakikita ko parin ang hiya sa kanyang mukha.

"I'm Almira, hi Josiah" she replied and greeted back. I just smiled.

Kakausapin ko pa sana s'ya ng biglang pumasok ang teacher namin. As usual we introduced ourselves in front and I couldn't stop starring at her while she was talking. I don't know but I'm admiring this stranger so much. She really looks like an angel.

Natapos ang araw at puro pagpapakilala palang naman and slight discussions ang nangyari. When I came home, I hurriedly grabbed my phone and searched her name on social media.

Oo na makapal na mukha ko but there's no harm on trying. I added her and said hi.

Unexpectedly, she replied. Teka ang bilis naman akala ko baka bukas pa or hindi na because she's famous and I'm not that special to be noticed.

Nakangiti ako habang nag cha-chat kami. We talked about our elementary days and our new classmates. Hindi ko maitatangging masaya s'ya kausap.

"Ryle may kausap ako, guess who?" saad ko sa Bestfriend ko na nasa katabing classroom lang din.

"Who?" He asked boredly.

"Almira Agustine" I answered proudly.

"Oh? The famous girl in your section?" he asked again.

"Yes" I answered with a smile. It felt like an honor to have a conversation with this angelic girl.

"Oh okay. Edi sana all may kachat na maganda" saad n'ya lang.

Parang hindi pa s'ya interested sa lovelife ko but he's like normally like that. I'm still happy and proud.

Nagdaan ang mga araw ay nasanay na ako sa bagong skwelahan na pinapasukan ko at nagpatuloy parin ang pakikipag usap ko kay Almira. I even think that she's so comfortable with me.

"Ryle can you come with me? Sabay kasi kami ni Almira mamayang uwian. Maybe kakain narin ng streetfoods" saad ko kay Shawn ng lumabas s'ya sa classroom nila.

"Di naman ako kailangan don. Ikaw nalang" pagrereklamo n'ya.

"It will be awkward Ryle kasi I know she'll bring her friends tas ako lang mag isang lalaki don" Pangangatwiran ko.

"Oo na sige. Later" parang napipilitan n'ya pang sagot.

Napangiti nalang ako at naglakad pabalik sa classroom.

Wala pang teacher kaya naka upo lang ako habang iniisip ang mangyayari mamaya.

Nang uwian na, we parted ways muna. Pumunta ako sa classroom ni Ryle at usapan namin ay magkikita nalang kami sa tapat ng gate.

Nang mag dismiss sila Ryle ay agad kaming naglakad palabas and we saw Almira with her friends talking kaya nilapitan namin sila. Naglakad kaming lahat papunta sa isang street foods sa kalayuang kanto malapit sa park. They're fun to be with kaya hindi na nagkahiyaan pa. Even si Ryle ay natuto na ding makisama.

"Akin na, kanina pa ako gutom" she said as she pouted.

Hawak hawak ko kasi ang pagkaing gusto n'ya.

"It's still hot. You might burn your tongue" sagot ko naman.

"I know how to blow, Jos"

Binigay ko nalang sa kanya and watched her eating. Kahit puno ang bibig n'ya she's still beautiful. Damn.

Nang gumabi ay hinatid muna namin sila bago kami umuwi ni Ryle sa kanya kanya naming bahay.

What a happy day.

The set up stayed that way hanggang sa mag grade 8 kami. But we're not classmates anymore pero nasa baba lang naman ang classroom nila kaya nagkikita kami tuwing recess or uwian at minsan gagala din.

~~~

When new year's eve came naisipan kong mag confess sa kanya kasi it's new year naman diba. Why not try. I'm excited and nervous at the same time, nong after Christmas sana ako magcoconfess kaso hindi ako makabwelo. Kaya ngayon nalang.

I opened my messenger and messaged her.

'Hi Almira Happy New Year!' I greeted.

Wala pang minuto ay nakita ko ng nag tatype s'ya. I'm so nervous.

'Happy New year din sa inyo Jos!' she replied.

'May sasabihin sana ako Almira'

Eto na. Eto na fuck nakakabakla pala to. I'm nervous kasi we're friends at baka di na magiging katulad ng dati ang samahan namin after nito, pero baka din mauwi ako sa pagsisisi kung puro ako what ifs kaya I'll take the risk.

'What is it? Mukhang importante kasi napaka seryoso mo'

'Almira, I like you ever since I saw you entering our classroom nong grade seven palang' I chatted.

Hindi ko matingnan ang reply n'ya kaya I turned off my phone until I heard a notification sound. Baka nag reply na s'ya.

I'm still nervous pero tiningnan ko yung message n'ya.

'Sorry Josiah. Kaibigan lang talaga ang turing ko sa'yo, akala ko ganon ka din sa'kin. I'm so sorry Jos pero sana maging kaibigan parin tayo' reply n'ya.

Napalitan ang kaba ng sakit. It hurts pero kasi hindi ko naman ini expect na kung ano yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya ay ganon din s'ya sakin. Masakit lang kasi I think wala ng pag asa, kaibigan lang talaga.

Hindi ako nakareply, masakit man pero I accepted the truth maturely. We're friends and atleast nagpaka totoo s'ya sakin, she didn't use my feelings against me.

After that, nag uusap parin kami like before parang wala lang nangyari. I'm happy kasi ganon padin treatment n'ya sakin kahit na alam n'yang may feelings ako sa kanya pero di ko madeny yung reality na kaibigan lang talaga ang turing n'ya sakin.

We've been friends until grade ten. Hindi kami magkaklase pero nag usap kaming isasayaw ko s'ya sa prom.

I heard from her friends na may nagugustuhan daw s'yang kachat n'ya, oo umaasa ako kasi lagi kaming nag uusap sa messenger like almost every time na vacant yung oras. So I wanna ask her and confirm it.

The prom night came and I was so excited like ramdam na ramdam ko talaga na may magandang mangyayari ngayong gabi. I'm not her first dance kasi may naka assigned sa amin na partners pero I'll be her second dance atleast.

After eating ay inaya ko s'yang sumayaw sa gitna. She's so stunning with her gown and with her make up on, parang mas nagmukha s'yang matured. Nakikita ko kung paano s'ya kumikinang tuwing tatama sa kanya ang ilaw.

"Almira, I heard from your friends na may nagugustuhan ka daw na kachat mo?" pagsisimula ko.

"Ay oo, sorry hindi kita nasabihan" she answered.

Fuck, meron! Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko kasi I'm expecting. Yes! I'm expecting kasi walang araw na hindi kami magka chat baka natutunan n'ya din akong mahalin sa wakas.

"Umm may I know who?" I asked.

Tumitig ako sa kanyang mga mata but she looked away. Fuck I'm really excited.

"Kasi Jos"

"Sino? Wag kana maghiya para namang hindi tayo Bestfriend, Mira" nakangiti kong saan sa kanya.

"It's Ryle" she answered.

Napatingin ako sa kanya. At napatigil ako sa pagsasayaw.

"W-what? Sinong Ryle?" I asked.

"Your Bestfriend" she answered.

Nagulat ako at napatingin sa kanya. Nag expect ako. Nag expect akong ako.

I faked a smile and thanked her for accepting my invitation to dance.

Now my night is ruined. Naka upo lang ako, I can't wait this to end.

Hindi ko sila pinansin at nakatingin lang ako sa harap.

Nang matapos ang prom her friends drag me to take a picture with them. Tatanggi sana ako pero masyado silang mapilit. I was at the back at nakita kong naka akbay si Ryle kay Almira.

After mag picture taking, her mom greeted me. Sundo n'ya pala and even took us a picture. Kaming dalawa lang sa entrance, I forced a smile and bid a goodbye respectedly.

I wasn't me, it's Ryle. All along, si Ryle pala. Magkausap kami pero iba gusto n'ya. I assumed.

They both kept messaging me but I chose to ignore them. It wasn't easy but I need to take care of my peace of mind.

Narinig kong sila na. I even saw their instagram posts. Parang ang saya nila habang ako, still trying to move on and forgive them both. Even her mom thought that we'll end up together.