I can't help but praise the authenticity of your selected theme... though it is but questionable... I won't mind your ideas. The writing quality is not bad but there are possible improvements. I'd suggest adding more actions in between dialog lines, to make it all more dynamic. Other than that, the only thing that didn't resonate at all with me was the character introduction... or rather its absence. I found it quite hard to follow the dialogue not knowing a thing about the characters, though the relationship between them was quite clear.
Stardreamer12
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