Review Detail of SmilesS in His only sunshine

Novel has potential, but author struggles with grammar, pacing and proper usage of tenses at the time of writing. Paragraphs are very stuck together, many run on sentences or words inserted without a clear flow into them. Protagonist's mental thoughts and emotions at times come off as scattered and not as easy to follow, or the wrong word is being used to describe them. Can be a 5/5 if formatting + wording and tenses are cleaned up, along with more careful touches upon the protagonist and characters themselves.