Review Detail of Deathilim_609 in To Love The Demon

A solid 4.0 for me. The only issue I have is the writing. Is it bad? No, in fact it's great but the prose or the way it's written felt so stiff and infodumping. That aside, the story is good. The concept is simple yet woefully done. It feels endearing and nice. The pure emotion written feels so descriptive. — I advise the author to seperate long paragraphs into smaller one's. Also note that when creating a paragraph, only put one characters action, then make another paragraph when creating another action, Here's an example, “I fumbled in response to the intellegent observation that came out in his mouth. The man, infront of me, raised his eyebrows as he laughed” × “I fumbled in response to the intellegent observation that came out of his mouth. The man, noticing my flimsy behavior, raised his eyebrows as he laughed.” ✓