Review Detail of luck_is_a_charm in Online Game ~ I Have A Super Bug In The Game

Hi and good evening or afternoon/morning I have finally finished editing the first chapter of this book and let me just say it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be Whoever thinks editing a book is easier that writing one doesn't know what he/she is talking about Anyways, I'll really appreciate if you guys can just look through the new first chapter and tell me if it's better that before At least I'll know I'm actually achieving something Thank in advance, Your Writer