Review Detail of Zzz_808 in Harry Potter and the White Death Eater

Anon20K:yes, it has some mistakes but it's not my style to make characters that can defeat everyone from the beginning, I like naive characters in the beginning, that mature and change over time. Of course your review is appreciated because I can see OTHER people's comments, thanks for the summary of comments.

Anon20K:yes, it has some mistakes but it's not my style to make characters that can defeat everyone from the beginning, I like naive characters in the beginning, that mature and change over time. Of course your review is appreciated because I can see OTHER people's comments, thanks for the summary of comments.

KasiCair:Honestly? You suck, Author. ... Now, don't get offended, and let me explain myself first. You say you want good character development but what you have in your story is not character development but character disaster. I feel as if you were writing two stories with different MC's and then just decided to screw it and merged the two together. In one place, the MC decided that he won't befriend mudbloods because his family would give him hard time. In another, he is buddy-buddy with Hermione. There was NO explanation whatsoever as for why or his motivations. In one place he is described to be antisocial. In next he is this companionship craving whatever who shares all his discoveries with others for no benefit to himself. An excuse of: 'I have never seen the knowledge written down so others CLEARLY found out about it too and didn't write it down' is the stupidest thing I have read this month. Congratz, you deserve a cookie. The MC was supposed to be an adult in his past life, wasn't he? How the heck is he so childishly naive, moronically stupid, and totally reckless? Yeah, I know, let me give you another example of why this is utter garbage of char development. On one hand, the MC proclaims he doesn't want to stand out. Then he saves Hermione from the troll. I can understand that. He can't really let her be flattened by the club. That was fine. Good, even. But then he actually challenges Quirrel to a duel as a spell demonstration? Just... ugh. Good one! He is TOTALLY subtle and discreet! What's next? Oh, yeah! The freaking inconsistent system! At first, the MC masters Wingardium to such a degree he can smash troll to bloody pulp. He manages to do this in ONE DAY. But then he suddenly loses this ability to master and 'evolve' spells and it is mentioned he only mastered lumos to such a degree. I mean... why add something like that when you instantly take it away from the MC? I am not happy with you, Mr. Author. I am not happy because the idea and the concept of the story, even though it is a system-based story, is actually very good. It is your execution that is lacking. I have to commend you for your approach of 'Muggle theories' helping him make his spells better. But... the way your MC acts? He is like a bipolar kid constantly high on coke who doesn't use his brain for anything. That is not how a 'reincarnated' person should act. That is my whole problem.

Anon20K:yes, it has some mistakes but it's not my style to make characters that can defeat everyone from the beginning, I like naive characters in the beginning, that mature and change over time. Of course your review is appreciated because I can see OTHER people's comments, thanks for the summary of comments.

KasiCair:Honestly? You suck, Author. ... Now, don't get offended, and let me explain myself first. You say you want good character development but what you have in your story is not character development but character disaster. I feel as if you were writing two stories with different MC's and then just decided to screw it and merged the two together. In one place, the MC decided that he won't befriend mudbloods because his family would give him hard time. In another, he is buddy-buddy with Hermione. There was NO explanation whatsoever as for why or his motivations. In one place he is described to be antisocial. In next he is this companionship craving whatever who shares all his discoveries with others for no benefit to himself. An excuse of: 'I have never seen the knowledge written down so others CLEARLY found out about it too and didn't write it down' is the stupidest thing I have read this month. Congratz, you deserve a cookie. The MC was supposed to be an adult in his past life, wasn't he? How the heck is he so childishly naive, moronically stupid, and totally reckless? Yeah, I know, let me give you another example of why this is utter garbage of char development. On one hand, the MC proclaims he doesn't want to stand out. Then he saves Hermione from the troll. I can understand that. He can't really let her be flattened by the club. That was fine. Good, even. But then he actually challenges Quirrel to a duel as a spell demonstration? Just... ugh. Good one! He is TOTALLY subtle and discreet! What's next? Oh, yeah! The freaking inconsistent system! At first, the MC masters Wingardium to such a degree he can smash troll to bloody pulp. He manages to do this in ONE DAY. But then he suddenly loses this ability to master and 'evolve' spells and it is mentioned he only mastered lumos to such a degree. I mean... why add something like that when you instantly take it away from the MC? I am not happy with you, Mr. Author. I am not happy because the idea and the concept of the story, even though it is a system-based story, is actually very good. It is your execution that is lacking. I have to commend you for your approach of 'Muggle theories' helping him make his spells better. But... the way your MC acts? He is like a bipolar kid constantly high on coke who doesn't use his brain for anything. That is not how a 'reincarnated' person should act. That is my whole problem.