everything is ok except the speech, with how long the paragraphs are it gets confusing when someone is talking and you just end up skipping it. maybe try space things out like when someone is talking, start a new paragraph so we feel captivated by the story and read on that's pretty much it.
Mohammed_Jawad
ถูกใจ 6 คน
ถูกใจไม่มีการตอบกลับ เป็นคนแรกสิ!