Review Detail of IamLolicon in Dan Walker : Outbreak

I think the content of the story is very interesting, the setting is very nice! The grammar and punctuations though need some work. I would suggest letting someone edit this as the story would come out a lot better if this issue gets solved. I would use the program grammar as well, I use it myself too. It does wonders! And like someone else commented, read your phrases out loud, that works great for me as well! You can see in your work that you really like writing! I would say, keep it up! It's always good to do something you love! Cheers!