Review Detail of kuhaku_sora in Stay'

A really great chapter! It was written as if I was there, watching and with them. The author brougt the characters into life, which made it easier for me to understand them. But I believe that tenses must be fixed. There are many past and present tenses mixed with each other. Also ,there is a chapter that has a lot of dialogues in it. Although I have nothing against dialogues, but if it can be trimmed down and make it as a narrrative, that chapter would become better than what it was. That's what I think. So feel free to disagree. Kudos for the auithor!