A story with good narrations! Descriptions were vivid and enjoyed the ride. Try be metaphoric sometimes on descriptions and the flow will be better. I say your story was awesome based on what I read. The character was likable and it was an epic read!
mel0n
ถูกใจ 1 คน
ถูกใจBeing more descriptive like show don't tell system..example..(not metaphoric) he gave his left hand to him......(metaphoric) He lent his left hand covered with random patterned scars that has wrinkles and was thin enough to be called impoverished and lacks nutrition. It was skin to bones and lacks muscles underneath the skin that made his handshake to be weightless.
mel0n:Thanks for the review! Can you explain a little more to me about what you mean concerning being more metaphoric?
mel0n:Thanks for the review! Can you explain a little more to me about what you mean concerning being more metaphoric?