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Review Detail of JohnnyKbca in Mystical Encounters

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JohnnyKbca
JohnnyKbcaLv45yrJohnnyKbca

As I understand you're a beginner writer, I'll add 2 more stars to each review score, while the review part will show my actual evaluation. Writing Quality: 1: I think this is the aspect where you have the most to improve. First, I would suggest the use of some tool for text correction. In my case, I use Grammarly. It is by no means perfect, but more often than not it makes the right corrections, and it's really easy to use. Also, one suggestion I have is for you to try not repeating the same name so often. Here is an example from Chapter 5: "She went to the backyard and found Fluff in a corner sleeping comfortably. Looks like Elis had took good care of Fluff. She'll build a small shelter for Fluff later." This works to break some of the immersion. You could, for example, rewrite the sentence above so it reads: "She went to the backyard and found Fluff comfortably sleeping in a corner. Looks like Elis took good care of it. She'll build a small shelter for small creature later. And lastly, would be for you to take care not to mix past and present tenses. Stability of Updates 5: You seem to have a steady rate of releases, but even if you didn't, I would still give it a 5. Personally, I don't like this category, as sometimes the writer needs more time to finish up a chapter, but may end up sacrificing the quality to keep the release rate. Story Development 2: You seem to keep a similar pace for many of the story events, which is not good. In fight scenes for example, you should build the ******* a bit more. In just the first half of chapter 6, Elis: Incinerates a plant trap. Saves a group of people from a monster. Obtains a fire orb. And defeats someone from a rich family. I felt very little reading it. Character Design 3: I do think the characters have some personality. But, at least for now, it hasn't been very well explored, and I don't feel very much attached to them. World Background 3: Similar to the character design, you went over some details of the city and some countries, but nothing too deep or that made an impression, at least for now. Review score (1+5+2+3+3)/5 = 2.8 Score given = (3+5+4+5+5)/5 = 4.4 Sorry if I sounded harsh at any time. I do think that after some improvements, your story can be quite enjoyable.

Mystical Encounters

ILLYAchan

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ILLYAchan
ILLYAchanนักเขียนILLYAchan

Thank you for your reviews! The reviews above showed me a lot of understanding how would I improve this novel even more. >.<