groomable
Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. - Helen Keller
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Hi I am Groomable
I don't understand what's happening. Who is the MC? Is he the doctor or Jared? Also, the chapter is too long. I did not even complete the chapter because I was not able to immerse myself in the story, and it is too long. This is a webnovel; a chapter is not supposed to be this long. At least tell me who the MC is so I can read properly.
The story was going great in the first chapter, but you need to make sure the plot is not chaotic like right now. I am an amateur writer, but I still try to keep my characters plots good. Your mistake: 1. You did not give us a chapter about the confrontation between John and the agents. 2. You did not give us anything to link from when and how John got his revenge in Mexico to the second chapter in which John is living in America; I only read about him killing the captive. 3. When did Jay or Gloria ask John to live with them? 4. It was written that John was loaded, so why is he not living in his own house with his butler or a guardian? 5. Who is John's guardian? 6. The second chapter feels confusing because you tried to make it seem like a show script with good creativity, but, eh, you know, it does not fit a light novel style. 7. There was a line that might have been a mistake, which means you did not quickly read your chapter. Remember to do that because grammar checkers do not fix things like plot confusion, like the line talking about agents knowing he had superpowers when in reality they did not know that. At least that's what I learned from a reader's point of view. It is your own choice whether to fix these points. I mentioned it because I just thought I should help a fellow writer a bit. :)
They stop in the later chapters.
It is my fault. Thanks for letting me know.
I have so many things to do before the courses have even started that I feel like I don't have enough time. I try time management, but that is hard.
I do not have the ability or patience to draw a picture. If you may, that would be much appreciated, my good sir.
I did not give entrance exams for the prestigious top law universities, but I have done an interview at a university for both psychology and dual majors in business and law. If I get into both degree classes, then I will do both. Just thinking about the amount of knowledge I need to consume in both of these degrees makes me shiver.
Thanks; luckily, I do not have a contract otherwise.