Daoistv8arJD
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326
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The writing is for the most part decent. It has a decent flow and few errors. I have two main problems with the story. The first being that the author talks about things and events that he has happening or have just happened and but without any prior knowledge about them… it’s confusing at times. Also Luna lovegood is not the character the author has made her out to be….. it’s worth saying she’s not even a form of Luna which is his prerogative. Kind of hard to see this as the hero’s adventure. More of a Harry that’s fine with doing things dirty, okay with convenient solutions that would go against his core being….. so it’s not terrible if that’s what your looking for. However it’s not the best of those…. I do want to say I have enjoyed several stories similar and enjoyed them.
Wouldn’t know all 100+ chapters are just an advertisement for his story. Idk how he expects people to go to his page when they don’t even get hooked to his work. All in all I’m disappointed in his work bc I don’t have anything to go off of. You have not gotten a new fan but ran one off when I realized how many pages were just ads for your patreon. This platform would be excellent to bring in readers once you hook them however I wouldn’t know. Good luck
The writing quality is pretty good, it’s an enjoyable story and I’m excited to see where it goes. However i don’t know if the author is accidentally uploading incorrectly or forgetting where the story is but, it jumps around and is confusing and not easy to understand if they are flashbacks or just accidents in the story design.
The idea behind the story Is good, the oc is awful and so is the friendship with Cedric. Overall it needs to be taken back and rewritten to better showcase each scene as the author is a decent writer but feels rushed/unplanned. The story needs to be rethought because so much has happened in no time at alll. Get rid of your oc and Cedric thing bc it just doesn’t I’m sorry
All in all, this is hands down one of the best Harry Potter works fan fiction that you will ever read. It’s right up at the top, it has a fantastic story, it is well thought out. The characters strengths, weakness, and personality are so well thought out and developed. I can honestly say that you will never feel remiss reading this. Rowan is just a fantastic character, Severus grows but retains his core, such a great read!! I can’t stop and want to know how itends. Give us more chapters!!!!!
Absolutely loving this fan fiction, your killing the characters, the subtle story growth and the overall wizarding world interaction. Can’t wait till the school year starts. My only complaint if it could be considered as such is that the author doesn’t write as fast as I read. Great work, keep it up, this is by far thousands times better than any of those system reads.
Decently put together but character development and strength development are out of whack. Also like to many fanfics the mc Blake becomes over powered as soon as it starts leading away from growth and immersion of the story. I do love the concept between a magical “clone” of albus and grindelwald. In my opinion which this entire review is only an opinion, this concept is a spectacular idea and I only wish the author had gone in another direction. However I’m sure some readers will love it as it will fit their desires in a fanfic.
As of chapter 37 this story is well written, it’s developing the characters and plot while leaving a mystery inplace. I look forward to the twist from the original, so far it is spectacular. Way to go and keep it up! I enjoy how you develop the characters without making them unrelatable to readers and the oc. So far the magic delved into has been well done.