alef_Rilzaki
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Another one of those boring stories that try to make the muggle world a perfect place as if much worse things don't happen all the time and the wizarding world is a horrible place where all wizards are stupid, I made an effort to read this far, the story is full of clichés, Hermione is perfect, Dumbledore is a thief, Molly is also a thief along with Ron and I have no doubt that Ginny will not escape having her image ruined, twenty few chapters with almost nothing original, what little is original if Is it possible to call a street vendor an original cliché?
It seems that in this fanfic the magical world is even more dependent on Dumbledore than its canon version, man the ridiculousness that somehow Dumbledore didn't know that Sirius Black was arrested without trial is meaningless, your version of the story left Madame Bones looking like incompetent minister of magic Cornelius who needs Dumbledore for everything, even though very little is shown about Amelia, she was one of the few characters that Voldemort went after since with her personality the British magical world would be well organized, this shows that she is not one of the incompetent followers of Dumbledore, perhaps this will be my last chapter the story is very bad full of ridiculous catchphrases and annoying attempts to transform Dumbledore into a perfect being who doesn't make mistakes and nothing is his fault everything is the case even in situations that are unlikely to happen there's no way he wouldn't know or be involved, Harry's little outburst of anger in previous chapters was just to get Harry's family situation out of the way and had no consequences, almost as if he didn't know about Harry's situation due to Arabella Figg and didn't had purposely allowed him to suffer this he himself admitted in canon that he let Harry suffer with his relatives on purpose because he wanted him to be more malleable and not an arrogant boy, the fact that it was never written as Dumbledore didn't know that Sirius didn't have a trial when people like the Lestranges had a trial only weighs the scales more to support that at the very least Dumbledore allowed his conviction without a trial, if he hadn't actively caused him to be imprisoned without a trial, all to control Harry Potter, it becomes more difficult to read this story In each chapter, when I saw someone like Charles Xavier talking about using his telepathic abilities ethically, I laughed at how ridiculous the scene was.
This chapter was ridiculous, a pre-teen talking about great powers and great responsibilities took away all the weight of the sentence and became ridiculous, and then the following sentence that will fight against the darkness of the world is simply ridiculous, these ridiculous catchphrases are even worse in a character who is barely a pre-teen, this also smells a bit like chat gpt their writing always has hero stuff and fights against evil I'm just not completely sure since chatgpt characters are extremely robotic, the idea The story is good but has poor execution
The beginning of this chapter was weird as hell, Harry saying that Dumbledore is wise and experienced was completely weird, no pre-teen would ask whether or not they can use their abilities and given Harry's personality it was even more out of character, no one asks anyone else whether you can use your skills or not is completely unrealistic, especially for a child.
Unfortunately it's going to be one of those stories where Harry Potter is in love with whatever nonsense Dumbledore spits out, apart from Dumbledore's slightly more aggressive attitude being completely meaningless if he didn't do anything before when the Death Eaters were at their lowest level of influence what sense does it make for him to try to look like he's going to do something in the present, I hope it's not the whole story of Harry being a follower of Dumbledore, besides how the hell would Dumbledore know that the diary is a horcruxus he barely had time to investigate.
This must be my last chapter the story is simply boring, the MC has this unpleasant personality the story is nothing surprising and it's not horrible it's just boring, my main problem is with the MC's personality I find it unbearable it seems like an attempt to be funny with a mad scientist attempt, but it's simply very silly and his humor isn't funny at all.
What an exaggeration about Jiraya's strength, I don't like Itachi but he could definitely kill Jiraya maybe even with some ease, Itachi fought with Taijutsu with Naruto in Kurama mode and was equal, not to mention that canon Jiraya has nothing to do against Susano or his MS skills, the last few chapters seem like fanservice for popular characters like Kakashi and Jiraya, with a ridiculous increase in their strength. I know that even the creator of Naruto fell into this type of trap and made ridiculous claims that Kakashi had the strongest Suzano to please the fans.
I lost a little interest when I saw that the MC is trying to keep things canonical if he's going to write a fanfic why make an effort to keep things the same, it already started with the cliché of the MC knowing how to make a lot of drinks and agricultural knowledge that certainly It was never common knowledge for most people to know about one thing or another, it would be more true, then the five-year-old elite archer, why go to the period before the rebellion so as not to change anything significant, as the first chapter was a disappointment.
This story is very weak, at the beginning the story seemed like it could go somewhere interesting but the MC's personality is almost unbearable he seems like a fusion of cliché MC's it's boring as hell, the author seems to be trying to make the MC have that scientist personality crazy but it ends up looking like the MC has a below average IQ, the parts that I think would be comedy are not funny at all, the central idea is even interesting of an MC alchemist and wizard having to evolve from a human to something superior, using alchemy the only saving grace are some interactions with characters from the main cast and even then a good portion of it is extremely forced or cliché.
I hope it's not that limited metamorphmagus cliché, it would make more sense if it was an emotional and mental limitation because of the way he was raised where he has to contain himself and repress himself all the time for many years, I think it would make more sense.
Much better to give up at the beginning of the story than read something that I know from the beginning I didn't like but like I said I don't know if your story is good or bad good luck with it, if you remember the stories with MC from Clan Kurama let me know the names, please, because so far I've only found two stories with MC from the Kurama Clan.
What rubbish MC from the Nara Clan, lineage is everything in the Naruto universe, the only anomaly is Minato and even so he has his limitations, you can barely count on Maito Gai since he uses a suicidal technique, and even though Minato is a anomaly he still couldn't even seal the entire Kurama in Naruto and again he depended on a suicidal technique to do this, if he had chosen at least the Kurama clan I would say nothing since the illusions of this clan are even above the level of the Uchiha but Nara It's very boring, it took away all the excitement of trying to read this story, good luck, I don't know if the story is good or bad but it's not for me.